Ready to Rumble Page #4

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We can go on a beer run for you.

Beer is good. Beer.

Get me two sixes.

You try and skip out with my money,

I'm gonna find you...

"I will find you..."

"I will find you" and...?

- "I will rule you!"

- Yeah.

Give us a "rule you," please?

- Wait, no.

- Come on!

Give us a "begone."

Yeah, please?

How about this:

Go get my damn beer,

you frigging morons!

- How are we gonna get back to Lusk?

- What do you mean?

- Knock, knock.

- Who's there?

Drunk Jimmy King in a dress.

We're out of here.

Wait, no, no. Sean, we can't.

He needs us now more than ever.

My hope...

...is that you two figured out that

I ain't the fella you came to see.

It's been a pleasure sitting with you.

Thank you for getting me

two boxes of beer.

Shut the door on your way out.

I know what's going on here.

You need to get back into the ring.

Never happen.

Sinclair created and owns

my character. It's over. Cheers.

Sinclair?

So what? You're the King.

You can beat anyone.

- Beat anyone?

- Yeah.

Y'all know it's just a show?

Best show in the world.

It's like dancing, you know?

- It's a circus show with dancing.

- Right.

- Dancing clowns.

- We got you.

Honk, honk.

A little soap opera thrown in.

This clown just got fired, that's all.

No more wrestling.

Listen to me, you dumbshits!

I ain't no king!

There never was no king!

The King is a fake creation.

I ain't a has-been. I'm a never-was.

You got it, stupid?

Now, get the hell out of my house!

I'm done with you. Get out!

Come on.

Get. Get out.

Know what I don't get?

How can you be phony

if we believe in you?

We need you, King.

Your fans need you.

We need you to rise above this

and take Sinclair down.

I wouldn't mind taking a swing

at that turd bump.

That's what we're talking about.

You'll get as many swings as you want.

I'm a little banged up.

I don't know.

Oh, please! You fought

with a broken back before.

You were paralyzed, you hopped out

of a wheelchair and whupped Canyon!

Sting broke six bones

in your neck with a bat.

In two weeks, you came back and ruled!

- Come on!

- Come on, man! This is nothing!

What's the matter?

Come on! This is nothing!

- Let go!

- Show us some of that old King!

- Let go or...

- Or what? Or what?

Or I will rule you!

Crown us!

Crown us, come on!

- Please, crown us!

- Crown us!

That was great, man!

You happy now?

Wakey, wakey, hands off snakey.

- Guess what?

- What?

Taking you up on your offer to get

one good swing at Titus Sinclair.

You're gonna pound Sinclair?

Oh, yeah. I'm driving first leg.

Here tonight, in a hard-core match...

...Sid Vicious is gonna

be locking up with Sting.

Plus in his very first title offense,

Diamond Dallas Page...

...faces none other than the Disco

Inferno. Should be interesting.

Out of the way!

- Excuse us!

- Smells like poop in here.

We're almost in position.

When we have access to Sinclair,

Gordie will call.

When you hear that, jump out

and we'll have our meeting.

Sit tight, King.

Have you back on that throne

in no time. Come on.

Here, girls.

Here, here, here.

Oh, my goodness!

- Look!

- Naked things.

The naked, naked things.

- All the naked things.

- Naked. Naked.

Oh, extra-naked.

Excuse me.

Boys.

Can I help you?

No. We were just

checking out your breasts.

We're checking the pipes in the wall.

See, they're round and large.

Well, thanks.

That was Sasha. Perhaps the

Nitro-est Nitro Girl of them all.

Mr. Page? Got 60 seconds.

I want to start tight on the belt,

then reveal us, pulling back.

About time you put it on me.

Anybody's better than Jimmy King.

Ungrateful tub of lard,

that's what he was.

I know that. You know that.

I don't get what

these kids dig about him.

Let me tell you about these kids.

They're morons.

They love who I tell them to.

"I'm Jimmy King! I will rule you!

I will reign supreme!

As soon as I finish

these here beers."

Funny?

Let's roll. We'll do it.

Five. Four. Three. Two.

Page, what do you really feel

about Jimmy King?

Yo, snapper-head, up here!

Jimmy King, he doesn't know

a wristlock from a wristwatch.

As far as being

in shape is concerned...

...that boy was so out of shape,

in the ring it was like fighting...

...a harpooned whale.

That's sweet, man. What a bum.

Jimmy King is not a...

I ain't no damn bum!

King's not in the script!

Foreign object!

Fatty just made you

his shithouse b*tch!

Who are you guys?

- We're fans!

- Jimmy King's, a**hole!

Get them off of me!

King!

Is that all you got?

- Do your job!

- You went down!

One. Two. Three.

The winner by pinfall, Jimmy King!

We have a new champion!

Jimmy King rules!

No!

That was unsanctioned!

And per the bylaws of the WCW,

that belt cannot be passed.

- You give me what's mine, you freak!

- You can't ambush your opponent.

- Any match, anytime, baby!

- You heard him.

Any match, anytime!

You want a match, you got one match.

- One match, you name it!

- The steel cage.

Steel cage? Done! When?

- He doesn't even have to win.

- He's not gonna win.

- No, he's gonna win.

- All you have to do is survive.

You survive and you get this belt.

Plus $1 million!

But if he loses...

...you forfeit your crown

and never be able to wrestle again.

- It's a deal!

- You got a match, baby!

Hold on, baby. Hold the damn phones.

Ladies and gentlemen,

you heard it here.

A new first. Four weeks from tonight,

MGM Grand, pay-per-view.

- Be there!

- We're gonna reign supreme!

- Good, save it! Save that emotion!

- Save it!

Tonight we rejoice! We rejoice!

- With the King in his motor castle!

- Party!

Sasha.

Oh, my God.

I'm Gordie.

I saw you in that brawl tonight.

Pretty awesome.

Got a beer?

- Dick!

- Thanks.

I got your poster up in my room.

Really?

Which one?

Is it...

...this one? Or wait.

- That one?

- No, it's this one.

- That's my favorite.

- Me too!

You're really sweet.

And masculine.

I really like how

you stood up to Sinclair.

We did it for that guy right there.

Isn't he the best?

He's the best. There's no better.

Growing up in Cody, Wyoming,

I lived to watch Jimmy King fight.

You're from Cody? No way!

- I'm from Lusk!

- Really?

Oh, my God!

You wanna dance?

Do people think I'm sexy?

I think you're sexy, Gene.

Really I do.

But right now, I'm gonna train

for this freaking death match, baby.

A little pure protein,

send me on my way.

No goddamn way, baby!

Oh, my God.

How'd you know

where to find him?

We're in the business.

Found him in drainage tunnel 14.

He didn't want to leave.

We'll take care of him from here.

Good luck.

Do your magic.

You cannot run away.

You got a fight,

major responsibilities.

I got news for you.

I sucker-punched Page last night.

It was a fluke!

How can you say that?

We got you this far!

We're gonna get you a trainer.

Trainer?

I don't need a trainer.

I need a safe house, baby.

Or a new identity from the FBI.

Or a fast car.

Jimmy King is not scared.

Jimmy King does not back down.

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