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rip a big win that day.

And I had this voice in my head

that just kept saying,

"Go to the track.

"Go to the track, Andy.

Go to the track."

'Cause there was this 80 to 1

long shot called Egyptian Fin.

Egyptian Fin?

Egyptian f***ing Fin.

I was sure she was gonna win, right?

And I-I just got paid.

I had this stupid

f***ing construction job,

and I was prepared to bet

the whole bloody check

on Egyptian Fin.

I-I thought I'd be up

around 30 grand or something.

Only problem is, the track

didn't open till lunchtime.

So I got f***ing five hours to kill.

Anyway, idiot over here

gets so excited,

I smoke the whole f***ing pack

of smokes in the first hour.

Part of me's saying,

"Hey, just sit tight.

"Stay here.

"Wait till the track opens.

"Don't risk going out there

and wasting that luck

on something stupid."

But I figured

maybe I can just run

to the corner store,

grab a pack of smokes,

and run right back.

Of course, I got f*** all

in my fridge,

so I grabbed a bottle

of ice tea while I was there.

Motherf***er.

What?

I crack open the ice tea,

and it starts to make a noise.

What kind of noise?

Like, music, like, some f***ing

reggae sh*t or something.

And-and I call up

the tea company.

I'm like, "Excuse me,

my tea's making music."

And the woman

on the phone says,

"Oh, congratulations.

You've won the grand prize."

You know, and I'm thinking,

"F***ing A, validation.

"I knew it.

Today was the day."

I-I felt so happy.

I was so f***ing happy.

Well, what'd you win?

Well, she goes away for a little bit.

She has to check something

on the computer.

I hear-

Comes back on the phone

and says,

"Sir, you've won

a Caribbean cruise for two."

And I'm like,

"You've got to be

f***ing shitting me.

"I hate boats.

"I hate the water.

I- I don't even really like

the sun that much. "

I asked her if I could-

if I could sell it, please.

She said, "No."

It was, like, nontransferable

or some sh*t.

And what happened to the horse,

you know, Egyptian Fin?

Finished dead last.

Oh, well, you see?

There you go.

It saved you from losing

your paycheck.

That was lucky, wasn't it?

You really don't f***ing

get it at all, do you?

Yeah, I-I get it.

You feel like you wasted

your luck on a crappy prize.

Yeah, but not just any luck.

The chances of winning that thing

are, like, one in a million.

But you said that you felt

lucky again today, right?

Lucky.

Not a million-to-one f***ing lucky.

Just turn up here, please.

- Here?

- Take a right.

Fly at Night.

The West Coast's own Chilliwack.

It's 17 minutes past the hour here

with Rockin' Johnny's

all vinyl afternoon.

Your grandmother works

at Jollop's Chicken?

No, no, she just

really likes it, though.

Her and the cats do.

You're not gonna try

anything stupid, now, are you?

No.

All right, let's go.

Jesus.

I worked at this joint when I was 17.

Worst f***ing year of my life.

Hello.

Not very talkative.

Um...

Are there

any specials today?

Number two?

Number three?

No, I-I mean, like, isn't it

Toony Tuesday or some sh*t?

Number two.

With a Coke?

Number two, that's-

that's the special?

Yes, number two.

Yes, number two is the special?

You like a Coke?

Do I like Coke?

Number two?

Jesus, you really love

that f***ing number two,

don't you?

Andy.

- What are you doing?

- What?

I'm just trying to help

an immigrant learn English.

Let me see your wallet.

Why?

Just give me

your f***ing wallet.

F***'s sake.

You have ten bucks in here.

So?

So why are you looking

to spend two when you got ten?

You got plans for the rest

of that money?

No.

So why are you haggling to save

a few bucks on fast food?

F***, you want me to pay

full price like a schmuck?

Fine, I don't give a f***.

I'll do it.

Just tell me what it is

that you want me to do here.

There's nothing I can accomplish

in an hour that's gonna save me

from wherever the f*** it is

that I'm going, Reuben.

Mr. Funny Mouth.

Yeah.

Impatient f***er.

Honestly, Andy,

I want you to do whatever you want.

Bullshit.

It's your time, Andy.

All right.

I'll do whatever I want.

Number three, please.

- Three?

- Three.

Hey, listen, does

f***ing Donny still work here?

He used to be

the assistant manager.

Donny, please.

What's up, Kwan?

Can I help you?

Do you know who I am,

Donny?

I am the ghost

of employees past.

Is that f***ing Andy?

Yes, f***ing Andy and others.

I am made of the ghosts

of all the employees

you abused

over the years.

Abused?

I caught you putting your dick

in the macaroni salad,

and I fired your ass.

Yeah, but not before you ate a whole

shitload of my cum, you didn't.

You know, you're a class act, Andy.

All right, look,

you've had your fun, okay?

Can-can you give him

his chicken, Kwan?

Kwan, read my lips.

Give him his chicken, please.

You see?

That.

That's the sh*t right there

I'm talking about.

You don't got to scream

at Kwan like that.

You don't have to tell me

what to do.

You got your chicken.

Now, why don't you

get out of my store?

Oh, right, you got more

employees to abuse back there.

I understand completely.

What is with this abuse thing?

I don't ever recall

abusing you, Andy.

What?

No, in fact,

you want to hear

something funny?

Yeah.

I actually liked you.

Oh, for f***'s sakes.

You know, I got a kid

in the back.

- He reminds me a bit of you.

- Oh, yeah?

Yeah, a real punk,

talks a lot of crap.

Hey, good for him.

He sounds awesome.

Awesome?

That's awesome to you, huh?

Well, why don't I get him out here?

Maybe you can tell him

what a big success you've become, huh?

I don't have time for this.

I don't have time for this crap.

Let's go.

Ah, f***ing sh*t.

I got to go back in.

- Why?

- I got to go back.

Hey.

F***ing piece of sh*t.

Donny!

Donny.

Donny!

Oh, yeah, okay.

You better f***ing

stay back there, Donny.

Yeah, you better stay back there.

And-and you tell the punk kid in the back

that, yeah, he's better off

being a deadbeat

than a f***ing fascist

fast food manager.

And-and I-

and you better be nicer to Kwan.

I don't want to hear that you've

been mean to Kwan ever again.

Be nice to Kwan!

So...

What?

Feel better?

That's not true,

is it, Andy?

What?

About the macaroni salad.

Oh, no, it's-

I may have tried it

once or twice.

Oh, Jesus, Andy.

What, Reuben?

I was 17, okay?

I didn't have a girlfriend.

And a

tragedy that both its writers

ended up hanging themselves

after a argument.

Hey, but you see the

f***ing look on his face?

But why did he deserve that?

I bet you were a crap employee.

Crap employee?

I-I wouldn't-

I wouldn't be

in this situation now, Reuben.

You blame that bloke for your situation.

Come on, Andy.

No, he f***ed me up, okay?

He disillusioned me.

What do you mean he disillusioned you?

How did he disillusion you?

Always f***ing staring at me

and judging me and berating me.

And it's like,

you get done with your work,

and you just try to relax,

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