Reality Bites Page #3

will you spot us a pizza?

Don't have any cash.

Dominoes takes checks.

OK, great.

OK. Bye.

The owner of Dominoes

supports Operation Rescue.

Oh, please. No one

gives a sh*t right now.

We're starving.

Oh, wait. Wait.

-Ta-da!

-We're going to eat gas.

Ah!

Who's this Michael guy?

Um...

Hey. Vickie just figured

something out.

-What?

-Something wonderful.

Ha ha ha! Evian is naive

spelled backwards.

Uh! Could you

turn this up, please?

Please?

You won't be sorry.

Thank you.

RADIO:
... When you gonna give me

some time, Sharona?

Ooh, you make my motor run,

my motor run

Gun it comin' off

of the line, Sharona

Never gonna stop, give it up,

such a dirty mind

Always get it up for the touch

of the younger kind

My, my, my, i, yi, woo!

Hey!

M-m-my Sharona.

Come a little closer, huh?

Ah, will ya, huh?

Close enough to look

in my eyes, Sharona

Keeping it a mystery,

it gets to me

Running down the length

of my thighs, Sharona...

Good times,

any time you need them, baby

Good times,

ain't no time to be afraid

Thelma's husband Keith has got

vodka hidden in the toilet.

Vodka in the toilet.

That's a good one.

Um... boom boom.

James Dice.

That's a two-parter, man.

You can't do that.

J.J. works in the chicken shop.

He works in a chicken shop.

We did that.

It's the same one

when he has that cape on.

Drink up, man.

You hate to see that

happen to the rookie.

Um... Alderman Davis

judges a...

Oh, my god.

Hi.

Are you a collection agent?

Lelaina!

Oh! Yeah, I'll be right there.

Oh.

If you ain't

the most hardheaded woman...

Great!

Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.

Oh, it's me!

Willona dates a deaf guy.

-Good one.

-Willona dates a deaf guy.

How about the one

when Gary Coleman comes on...

and he's like the little...

like, guy doing that...

-Yeah, we did that one.

-He was cute, though.

-J.J.'s prom date.

-Gotta go. Gotta go.

-Hey. Hi. Hello. Hi.

-Hi.

Um... everybody, this is Michael.

This is...

Prom date. Prom date. Go.

You know, we should...

We should... Yeah.

So, I'm gonna go.

Bye.

Michael throws a party.

Sammy, let's go.

Lelaina, you know the punishment

for premature evacuation.

Penny! Willona adopts Penny!

Sh*t!

I'm making

this documentary...

about my friends,

but it's really about...

people who are trying to find

their own identity...

without having any real role

models or heroes or anything.

Wow. That...

That sounds great.

It seems like your friends

would be perfect for that.

Like, um...

Like that guy Troy...

-Troy, yeah.

-You all done here, sir?

Uh, yeah. yeah.

You don't want to finish that?

Because I can...

No, no, no. I'm fine.

I had a late...

So, Troy is...

You guys just...

It's like you guys living there,

just the two of you?

No, no, no, no, no.

It's me and Vickie,

but he got fired from his job...

and so he needed a place

to crash for a couple weeks.

They caught him

stealing a Snickers.

He stole a Snickers bar?

Yeah. Ha ha ha!

Somehow he can rationalize it...

like the establishment

owes him a Snickers.

Right, right.

Well, I mean...

I guess... you know...

You know, you're very beautiful.

I mean... I mean, um...

Seriously, you're...

I'm, uh... I'm, uh... not really

good with compliments.

Um... but, uh...

Um... Ha ha!

Are you religious?

Um... Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

I'm sorry.

I guess I'm...

I guess I'm, uh...

a non-practicing Jew.

Hey, I'm

a non-practicing virgin.

Who's this again?

Frampton.

Peter Frampton.

Frampton...

I can't believe you

don't remember...

"Frampton Comes Alive. "

That album, like,

totally changed my life.

The most profound, important

invention of my lifetime...

the Big Gulp.

And because, see...

No, listen.

You get one in the morning.

I'm talking forty-four ouncer,

not this thirty-two wimpy...

-Wait a minute. Forty four?

-Yeah. Forty-four ounce.

How can you ingest

forty-four ounces of anything?

How can you ingest

forty-four ounces of anything?

You get one.

You have your essential vitamins

and nutrients...

for the entire day.

Oh, yeah. Definitely.

I'm sure you're totally covered.

-You do.

-Well...

I guess it really doesn't

take much to make me happy.

Hey, I'm not

materialistic, either.

I mean, I think I'd be working

even if I wasn't getting paid.

And I don't, like, want to get,

you know... a big house.

I just want, like,

a nice house.

I'm not into cars and stuff.

I mean, I like my car.

You're probably not

really not into, like...

expensive, snazzy

Italian suits, either.

-Oh, come on.

-I'm just kidding.

-No, no, no.

-I'm just kidding.

Wait a minute.

I'm not like that.

I'm really not.

I mean... I mean...

I'm... I'm... I mean...

I know why the caged bird

sings and everything.

Oh, yeah? Why?

Because he was... in a cage,

and he was...

I don't know.

He had high hopes or something.

OK, I dropped out of school...

before we got to that,

all right?

I should have stayed

in college...

and got a degree

in astronomy or something.

-Oh, god, I love astronomy.

-Really?

Yeah. I just...

The math, though.

It was the math that just,

like... got me every time.

I loved astronomy, too,

and I got into class...

and it was like...

it was like...

everything was three-squared

times pi equals the root of pi.

Yeah. And I just wanted

to look at the stars.

-It was so...

-Same here exactly.

I remember being so happy

on the roof of our old house...

just staring up at the stars.

Mmm...

I want to do that again.

I want to just...

look up at the stars

and take the time to...

smell the...

everything.

Because it's like... do you ever

have those moments in life...

where everything is OK?

Do you know what I mean?

Just for, like, one moment,

everything is great.

Not since I graduated, no.

But yeah... yeah.

When you, like, catch yourself

in a moment...

and you're saying, wait,

I'm happy here in the moment.

Right. And then it

just goes away really quickly.

-Gone.

-It just... It's...

I know I've had

a couple of those, you know.

I always forget them,

but I know I've had them.

Oh, me, too.

Like right now... is one.

Yeah... like now.

SINGING:

Clouds are stalking

Islands in the sun

Wish I could dry one

Out of season

But don't

Hesitate

'Cause your love

Won't wait

Hey, hey, hey

Ooh, baby, I love your way

Every day

Want to tell you I love your way

Ooh, ooh, ooh

TROY, Ooh, baby,

I love your way

Every day

I want to be with you

night and day

Shh!

So, you've been up all night?

I am picking up some

very strange vibes in here.

They're of the...

"I just got laid" variety.

Did he dazzle you...

with his extensive knowledge

of mineral water?

Or was it his in-depth analysis

of Markie Mark...

that finally reeled you in?

I just would have liked

to have been there...

to watch

how you rationalized...

sleeping with a yuppy-head

cheeseball on the first date.

He's not a yuppy.

He's the reason

why Cliff Notes were invented.

Well, that pales

in comparison...

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