Rebirth Page #7

[all cheering]

Zack? Zack? Zack?

Yeah!

[all] Yeah!

Whoo!

[all] Whoo!

Oh, sh*t, man. [laughing]

Hey, everybody.

Let's show my boy Kyle some Rebirth love.

[all cheering]

- What...?

- What do you think, man?

What do you think?

You think they like you? [chuckles]

[all laugh]

Hey, what some of you may not know...

What some of you may not know

is that this man...

...is like a brother to me.

And what you may also not know,

is that this guy right here,

is one of the main inspirations...

...for all of this. Huh?

[whooping and cheering]

- Whoo!

- [all] Yeah!

That's the man. That's it.

Huh?

[man 1] Yeah!

[man 2] Yeah!

And you know what else?

I think this motherf***er

just made Phase 2 in record time.

[all laugh]

- Right here, Phase Two.

- What the f***? What the f***?

Yeah.

[man 1] Yeah.

[man 2] Right?

- What the f*** are you doing?

- What's that, brother?

What?

Okay. Hey, hey, hey. It's okay, man.

You just Rebirthed, you know?

You just Rebirthed. That's a rush.

It's a rush. It's just adrenaline.

It's just adrenaline.

Here, tell the camera. Tell the camera.

Tell the camera. Tell the camera.

- Tell the camera.

- No, no.

Tell the camera. Tell the camera.

- No, no, no.

- Hey, hey, hey.

Don't f***ing touch me.

Don't f***ing touch me!

- Don't f***ing touch me!

- Ease off.

Hey, hey, hey.

Kyle, this is the best part.

Hey, man. It's over. It's over, man.

- Don't touch me.

- [man] Kyle. Kyle.

- Don't touch me.

- This is the best part.

Hey, let's get Kyle back, everybody.

- Kyle! Kyle!

- [all] Kyle! Kyle!

[all chanting] Kyle! Kyle! Kyle!

[birds chirping]

Hey, man. Kyle.

Kyle, hey.

Kyle, come on, give me a chance...

Let me expl... It's over, man.

- Let me go. Let me go. Let me go.

- Okay, all right, okay, no problem.

Take me to my car or I call the police.

[Zack] Kyle.

Nothing was ever gonna happen.

Nobody was gonna get...

Jesse's a stuntman.

He's, like, a black belt.

I did this...

I thought...

I thought you would dig it. I...

I'm so sorry.

I don't wanna talk to this guy.

Can you shut the door?

- Can you shut the door?

- Are you coming on, sir?

No, he's not. He's not.

Mary?

[line ringing]

[sighs]

Uh...

I'm done. I'm done. It's over.

Hey, where are you guys now?

[Mary] We're coming back

from swim practice. We're almost home.

Right. Uh...

- Right. Okay.

- Okay, bye.

[sighs]

[cell phone dings]

No. No.

No.

[line ringing]

F***.

[man] Hello and welcome

to the National First

Fraud Protection System.

This call may be recorded

for quality assurance.

If you'd like to report

fraudulent activity on your...

[key beeps]

Thank you. If this is regarding

your checking account, press one.

For a money market account, press two.

If you'd like to look deeper

and see more, press...

Thank you. If you'd like

to stop trying to please people

who don't care about you, press one.

If you need instructions

for operating your escape pod

from Planet Zombie, press two.

If you are Kyle Madison and are calling

because you'd like to find out

what happens next, press three.

If you'd like to learn more ways

to breathe, press four.

- If you're scared over a change...

- Oh, my God.

If you like to talk again, press six.

If you like to return to the same place...

What the f***?!

Jesus. Jesus Christ.

Hey, buddy, do you mind?

I said, do you mind?

We got a lot of options to get through.

If you believe existence ends

at brain death,

- press...

- Who is this?

What are you doing?!

I'm sorry, I didn't get your answer.

If you'd like to leave Rebirth...

No. No. No.

What the f***?!

Oh, my...

[yells]

No. No. No.

No!

[panting]

[water splashes]

Hey, there's my guy. Got a towel, man?

Jesus, what the f***

do you think you're doing?

[grunts] Man, you know,

after one of these weekends,

it feels, like, a tour in Kabul, man.

I need me, like, a nice hot soak.

My wife is coming home. This is my house!

I know. It's nice, man.

Really digging the Jacuzzi.

No towel?

[whistles]

- Hey, guy, you need any help with that?

- What have you done?

- Why are you doing this?

- Because you're not finished.

F*** you. This, this is over.

Come on.

There's an after party at Jesse's.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

Oh, my God is right.

I mean, those sheets are amazing.

- What's the thread count on those?

- Mary is gonna be home. Any second.

What else did you do?

I didn't do anything.

I've been in the bath the whole time.

Hey, man, do you mind

if I put some tunes on?

I already guessed the Wi-Fi password

was "Mumford." Heh.

[groans]

- Check it out, dude, you made the cover.

- Oh, f***.

Stop. Just stop. Stop it. Stop!

Why are you trying to destroy my life?

I'm not trying to destroy your life, man.

I'm trying to save your life.

I'm here to help you.

I don't want your help!

Oh, f***!

What do you people want from me?

We want you to stop living your life

like a spectator, okay?

[sobs]

That's it? You all done?

All out of fight?

What the f*** happened to you, man?

F*** the man. Keep it real.

Don't be boring.

- What? What are you talking about?

- I'm talking about you!

I'm talking about your dogma, dude.

The Manifesto? Your words?

Do they mean anything to you anymore?

Oh, my God. You mean, do I believe

in a thing we wrote as a joke

when we were 20 years old on shrooms?

[chuckles]

Yeah. It wasn't a joke. And you know it.

Stop. Stop it, all right? Just stop.

Just tell me what you want

before Mary comes home.

I wanna help.

- You're destroying my life!

- You're destroying your life!

You're destroying it!

You sit all day at a job you f***ing hate.

You bilk young kids out of money,

so they're so immersed in debt

that they're enslaved to the system

for the rest of their f***ing lives.

You can't get a boner, dude.

And you know what the worst part is?

You're really boring.

You're a child. I'm not 20 anymore.

Thank you. I know. I am a child.

So, that way, I can see the world

for what it really is,

unlike the way the zombies

have conditioned you to see it.

The zombies? I'm an adult.

I have a family. It's a f***ing job!

Right, and I bet the only way

to keep your child from starving

is lying for a bank!

You have this juvenile obsession

with what?

Am I the guy who created this system

you hate...?

I don't give a f*** about the system,

okay? I care about you.

- Oh, my God, yes.

- Yeah.

- I can tell.

- Not this you, okay? Not this you.

The you you used to be.

- Before the f***ing lobotomy.

- I like my life.

Oh, do you like your life? I like my life.

You should f***ing love your life, Kyle.

You should've seen your eyes.

You should've seen your eyes

when I described this weekend to you.

It was like I was offering you,

like, a drop of water

and you were just dying of thirst.

No. I didn't know what it was.

It was called Rebirth!

What'd you think that meant, huh?

It means being born again.

It means a new life.

And that also, Kyle, means

killing the old one, you understand?

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