Rebirth Page #8

This is also why we had to drain

your savings account.

No, no, no. That was not real.

That was a fake site.

Mm.

It was real. It's all real.

[car horn honking]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- Just relax. Relax. Relax.

- Oh, my God.

Nothing is gonna happen, Kyle, okay?

I'm gonna set you free.

All right, what do you want?

How do I make this stop, all right?

What do you want from me?

What do I want from you?

What do you want from you?

I want the same thing.

I want you to reach enlightenment.

Yes. Okay, I'll do anything you want.

Just don't do this to my family.

Okay, in order for it to stop...

Right? You have to tell me

that you felt something at Rebirth.

Yes, yes, yes, I felt something.

- Okay, good. What'd you feel?

- Uh...

I don't know. I don't know.

What do you want me to say?

- No, no, it has to be in your own words.

- Oh, f***.

Just tell me what you wanna hear.

Okay, close your eyes. Just close

your eyes and tell me the truth, brother.

[panting]

- I felt scared, all right?

- Good, good, good.

- I felt like I was gonna die.

- Great.

I feel like I've been

through a f***ing war.

Yes. [laughs]

[smooches]

That's all I wanted to hear.

That's it. [laughs]

- That's it? That's it? That's it?

- Yeah, man. You've seen the other side.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- You can go back to your desk

and tweet, twat, whatever the f***

you've been doing

for the rest of your life.

But nobody, nobody's gonna take

the moment away from you

when you held a knife

to a cult leader's throat

and busted your way out of a sex dungeon.

[both laughing]

- Huh?

- Right. Right.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

And the sex dungeon part.

- That's over, too, right?

- It's over.

I promise.

- [Mary] Hello.

- Hey, we're in here.

I promise, man.

Okay?

You just gotta make a little donation.

[gasps]

Zack.

- Oh, my God.

- Hey.

[Zack] Oh, man. Is this crazy or what?

- Oh, boy.

[Mary] So crazy. Wow.

Look at you. Oh, man, you look amazing.

- Thank you.

- Ha-ha.

- You guys look sweaty.

- Oh, yeah.

We're guys.

- How long's it been?

- I don't know.

I mean, long enough for you

two lovebirds to have a little one, right?

- Right. Oh, yeah.

- Yeah.

Hey, Jill, come meet Mom and Dad's friend.

No, no, no, wait. No, no, no. It's okay.

It's okay. Zack was just about to leave.

- Whoa. No, no, no, I'm dying to meet her.

- Yay. Let me get her.

- Great. Wow, she's looking good, man.

- What do you mean, a donation?

You know, a meaningful donation.

I mean, we are a non-profit.

- Like money?

- Yeah, money's good.

- How much money?

- Some money from your bank would be nice.

I don't have access to my bank's money.

Oh, sure you do.

I write tweets to idiots

who follow a bank on Twitter.

- I don't have acc...

- All you gotta do

is log on to your bank's server

from your computer, okay?

The algorithm will do the rest.

- What algorithm?

- Don't worry about it.

Her Highness is on her way down.

[chuckles]

Hey, so, I watched some of the videos

from Rebirth.

What?

Just the ones that you e-mailed me.

What? E-mailed?

Yeah, with the testimonials or whatever.

It actually looked kind of intriguing.

- You're not supposed to do that.

- Oh, no.

No, no, it's okay.

Hey, hey, look, as long

as we're breaking the rules here,

- I have some video of your boy.

- Oh!

- No, no, no.

- Wait, I wanna see it.

It's... It's embarrassing, really.

Right, and you can't share

the weekend with outsiders.

Oh, wow.

- It already sounds like a cult.

- No, it's not a cult.

[both laugh]

I hear Kyle says

that you guys go to a church.

[Mary] Yeah, we do.

- Yeah?

Oh, I mean, you guys should like...

I mean, you should come.

You know, they like people

from, like, all different kinds

- of, you know, spiritual paths.

- She's not interested.

Actually, I don't know.

If you guys both really liked it,

- I'd be open-minded about it.

- She's not interested.

She's not gonna do it, okay?

Just leave us alone.

Kyle.

I think it's time you should leave.

Are you sure?

[Jill] Hey.

[Kyle] Hey. Hey.

Hey, sweetie! Jill, this is Zack.

Hi, Jill, it's so nice to meet you.

You are as beautiful

as your mother. [laughs]

Hey. Does anybody want any Kool-Aid?

There's still plenty left over

from the seminar. Huh?

- Sure, that'd be good.

- Yeah.

I know when I was a kid, I loved Kool-Aid.

Kids still like Kool-Aid,

don't they, Jill?

- Okay.

- Yummy.

- Hey, she's not thirsty.

- Kyle, what are you doing?

- What are you doing?

- I'll do it, okay?

- I'll do it.

- Okay.

[Mary] Kyle, what's going on here?

No, this is...

This is over, all right?

All right, I'll do it.

Um...

I think Kyle had kind of an intense day,

and I think he just needs

a little decompression time.

Oh. Uh...

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I was...

- No, it's okay. It's okay.

It's all right. It's all right.

It's not a big deal, okay?

Just stop talking.

All right. Well, how about us guys

take a little retreat to the man cave?

If that's okay with you young ladies?

- Sure, yeah.

- Yeah? Okay.

Well, fantastic, let's do it, bud.

[Kyle] It's all right.

[Jill] Bye.

So nice to meet you.

[Kyle exhales]

[Zack] Hey.

So, Naomi's gonna shoot

a little testimonial video,

if that's okay with you.

So, I wanna be clear.

I'm not going to get in trouble, right?

Of course not. You're my friend.

Are you sure?

We will never take enough

to get detected, okay? I promise.

This is a good thing, Kyle.

You have an insane amount of potential.

You're gonna be an integral part

of this community.

You're gonna run our new Media

and Communications Department.

You're gonna help us reach

a whole new group of people.

Help us make this something really big.

Help me, Kyle.

Help us.

Help yourself. [chuckles]

Have some fun for once in your life.

I mean, the worst case scenario...

...is you make a ton of money.

Dude, I guarantee you,

in five years, you're gonna think

this is the greatest thing

that ever happened to you.

And... if you don't...

...you can leave any time you want.

[Kyle] You know, before I found Rebirth,

I was lost.

I really was.

And the worst thing

was I didn't know I was lost.

I was bottled up,

and it would come out

in the dumbest ways.

Just basic stuff,

like getting impatient with my wife,

or spending all day long

looking at my phone,

and then getting mad in traffic.

[Mary] Kyle was a great husband,

a great father, a great provider.

Um, but he just... He wasn't happy.

And it affected all of us.

I was living this default life

that everyone around me assumed

was the best life possible.

But it just...

...wasn't making me happy.

And then I found Rebirth.

Hi, my name is Kyle Madison,

and I wanna tell you my Rebirth story.

Oh, yeah. I remember Kyle's first time

at Rebirth. He was like...

You know, he was like, "What the hell

did I just get myself involved in?"

[Jesse]

It was almost like watching a game show

where you already know that

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