Recep Ivedik Page #6

Then headache, fever and then

diarrhea. You know, the squirts.

Be careful.

There's so few photos, shoot more.

Family photos, kid photos.

How are you, boy?

What is that uncle doing?

Really, what is he doing?

Look away!

What's this photo doing here?

Why did you shoot his photo?

Go and play in the park.

Yo. Yo.

Look here.

What are you doing

cringed all up here?

Come here, kitty.

Sweet kitty.

Brother Recep.

Where to?

I'll eat you.

- To the animation show.

- Let me take you there.

Do I look like an idiot to you?

You think I won't find

a damn amphitheatre?

- Take this here.

- What's that?

Clean it up from lice and fleas,

and feed it.

- Allright?

- Yes, sir.

Good for you.

One more time.

Very nice.

Dear guests, we have

Before choosing the final one,

I'd like to remind you of the rules.

The men have the balloons

on their laps...

...and the girls sit on them. The

fastest pair to break the balloon...

...will win the game. Now

I'll chose the final contestant.

A volunteer male. You, sir.

No? Are there

no man here?

Welcome, sir.

- Please, sit.

- No.

I've got nothing to do with this.

I came through the wrong door.

This is a game.

Please, sit.

- I've got nothing to do with this.

- Very nice.

Don't applaud!

Don't!

- I've got nothing to do with this.

- Your name?

- Recep.

- Let's hear it for Mr. Recep.

I want a volunteer lady

for Mr. Recep.

Thanks. God bless you.

- Me! Me!

- Please.

No! Not that woman!

I don't accept this.

I won't accept this.

Please, just a second.

You asked for a lady

and look at this.

- Please, sit.

- No. I'm not OK with this.

- We're going to win.

- Win what?

- I'll devour you.

- That's what scares me!

- Then I'll eat you slowly.

- No, thanks.

Don't applaud!

I count down from three

and we start.

Don't count!

My testisterones!

Stop! It hurts!

Get off me!

I'll punch your head in!

Why do you laugh?

Don't!

Brother Recep!

What are you doing?

What kind of a woman are you?

I've had enough of you!

Rhino!

- Come along.

- Stop talking! Don't laugh!

Mr. Recep, what are you doing?

Is this a trough?

Get out of there.

Sorry, I got thirsty.

I apologize.

Enough is enough. They say

you cursed at the audience...

...last night, during the show.

- I didn't curse at all.

Everybody was laughing.

The lady was disgraced.

What are you doing?

I lost count of the

problems you caused.

Giving the finger

in the photo.

This hotel is not used to

such things.

This is a five-star complex.

Hear me well. I'm aggressive,

I have complexes.

I don't give a damn if you're

the manager and choke you.

I'll tear down your hotel.

Are you threatening me? Great.

Please, leave the hotel.

- Who are you?

- I'm the manager of this hotel.

Who are you?

I'm a member of Karaambar

Truckers Community.

Karaambar Truckers Community,

huh? What's that?

Who are you? Bandits?

Do we live in the mountains?

How could you tear down the hotel?

Who are you?

Karaambar Truckers whatsoever.

Who are they?

You really spoke very harsh.

You took a grenade,

pulled out the pin...

...and you're holding it

in your hand.

You couldn't scare me

with your whole family!

Get out! Out!

Just say it and we'll

bring down the hotel.

Start digging, mates!

Stop!

Whoa! Hold your horses!

But Mr. Recep, please.

What do you suggest

I tell them?

Stop or move on?

Please, don't.

I didn't mean it like that.

I just wanted to meet your

friends.

That's why I said "Who are

those friends?"

That's what I meant.

Welcome.

And they came to meet you.

Introduce yourself.

- I'm Halil. Pleased to meet you.

- Likewise, sir.

I'm Erim. The hotel manager.

Look, what a kind-hearted

person he is. Welcome.

Don't mention it.

I'd like to talk to you in private

when you're available...

...babe.

Pleased to meet you, sir.

Really.

I'm sure you don't have any

questions about me anymore.

What questions?

You are our guest, sir.

You don't have to be so formal.

Drop the 'sir. '

He's very funny, huh?

Mr. Recep is a real joker.

Answer the phone.

Don't look at me,

answer the phone.

Yes?

Yes, Ahmet?

Thanks, how are you?

Ahmet, I want to tell you

something.

I can't marry you, Ahmet.

I'm really sorry.

I really tried.

I tried to love you.

Give me that.

Hello? Ahmet, my dear,

how are you?

Excuse her, she's young.

She's excited because

she's getting married.

Don't worry. I'll talk to her

and handle everything.

Have a nice day,

my child.

What do you think you're doing?

I can't marry someone

I don't love.

Are you going to

disgrace me?

You're engaged.

You should've thought twice before

forcing me to be with him.

Shame on you!

I did it all for you.

I wanted you to have

an easy life.

Enough! I'm sick and tired

of thinking about these.

It was really stupid

to accept this at all.

I want to marry

someone I can love.

Why won't you understand?

Love won't still your hunger.

Get to your senses.

You'll marry him

as soon as we're back.

Talk as much as you want.

I'm not marrying him.

You will and that's that.

Oh God.

Enough! I've had it of such

stupid subjects.

I'm going for a swim.

I was walking by and saw you

upset. What happened?

Nothing. Never mind.

You look upset.

I saw it. What happened?

- Some people get on my nerves.

- Who's that?

Anyone who gets on her nerve

will get a beating!

I'll knock their face in.

What was that?

Sorry, there was too much

gas in my stomach.

Look at me.

I see, there's something

naughty underneath the beauty.

Can you do this?

Gross. Look.

Is that your mom?

Yes.

Hey!

Mum!

Help! There's a hairy

monster on me!

- Mom.

- I'm dying.

I can't breathe.

My guts.

Are you alright, auntie?

My ribs.

Idiot!

What makes you ride here?

Is this a path?

Everyone's basking here

and you ride between them.

Ox!

Get lost!

- Brother Recep. You're great.

- Thanks.

Mum?

I almost passed away today.

Don't talk nonsense.

I was going to die before

I saw you in a wedding dress.

Sibel, you're going to marry

Ahmet, won't you?

Allright, mum.

- I'm not promising anything.

- What's that supposed to mean?

Sibel, don't leave me here.

Brother Recep,

here are your marbles.

Thanks a lot. Yo, nutty boy.

Pour in a little vodka in here.

- Are you sure it's alright?

- Nothing's gonna happen.

More, more, more. There,

it's starting to kick in.

I ask the guy "Why do you

get me fainted...

...and have the water

affect me like concrete?"

He says "I thought you had fun. "

I have panic attack.

I can't put up with everything.

He said "You're right, bro. "

I said "If I catch you on land

I'll whoop your ass. "

I'll turn you into one

of those rings.

He got scared.

Am I right, tourist?

You bounced

on the water like balls.

Is that a nice word to use?

Is that nice?

What do you mean 'balls'?

Why do you drive me nuts?

Isn't that so?

I'll throw you one

right in your face...

...and make you smile

all your life.

What's this, is he

stupid or an idiot?

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