Recep Ivedik 4 Page #3

Should I shoot someone?

- Should I sell my body?

- I don't care. Do what you want.

- My, oh my.

- Why are you getting on my nerves?

Why won't you help me?

Why won't you help me?

Is it so hard?

I'm asking you, ma'am.

Is it so hard?

As if I wanted it for myself.

You'd think it was for me.

If I want it for myself...

...my wild animals gnaw me to death.

May they gnaw at my heart

May they spoon out my eyes.

May they tear out my liver

And eat me alive...

...if I want it for myself.

Shame on you.

- I wanted it for the kids.

- Get out!

So you lure me into your office

by promising me a loan.

And then comes the sexual harassment.

You tug down your stockings

with your foot, like this.

And move on to the crotch area.

Tugging at it.

- Pervert

- You disgraceful aphrodisiac.

Disgraceful aphrodisiac.

With your nipples all hard.

Shame on you.

Primates enjoy warm water.

They're making the most of their

friendship up in a tree.

Oh, look at that.

My how he loves the taste of snot.

And enjoys eating it.

Are you ready to live and compete...

...on a tropical island?

If you think you're fit and strong...

...this desert island awaits you.

Out of the competition will emerge

only one winner.

And that person will go home

with 500,000 lira.

'Desert Island' is beginning.

Look, they said the grand prize

is 500,000.

I'm not going to a deserted island.

That much I won't do.

- Why won't you go the island?

- No, I'm not up to it.

I don't want to. Don't push me.

I can't live in those conditions.

In what conditions?

You live the same way here.

Here you crap in kitty litter,

there you crap in sand.

You live in a hut here,

you live in a hut there.

I'm afraid of flying.

I can't go.

You can take a pill and sleep

the whole way there.

I can't sleep when someone is

sitting next to me.

Someone could grope me

while I'm asleep.

- You promised the neighborhood.

- I didn't make a promise like that.

I said I'd buy the lot,

and somehow we will.

But how? What could be a

better chance than this?

How else will you find 500,000

all at once?

No, I can't.

Think of the kids.

You promised them.

They'll lose their football field...

You mentioned the kids.

That's my weak spot.

You got right to my weak spot.

You hit me where it hurts most.

OK, I'll go.

I'll go.

Let's apply.

- Excuse me?

- Yes?

Where do I apply for 'The Island'?

Applications are online, sir.

And today was the last day.

It's over. You're too late.

What do you mean - too late?

There are all these people here.

I want to apply, too.

Give me a form.

It's over. Sorry.

You've got one. Let me fill it out.

Stop it! Orazy or what!

What do you mean, over?

It's not over until I say it is.

It's not over until I say so.

- Hello, The Island?

- Hello. The Island.

I'm here for The Island too.

You don't look the type for

The Island.

What's that supposed to mean?

- You've got a potbelly.

A bald head. A bushy beard.

Your arteries are clogged with butter.

Your heart' s barely beating.

Your liver's already dead.

The sun would knock you out.

You won't get out alive. Go home.

I've always been healthy.

Nothing's wrong with me.

- Give me your form.

- Hey, what are you doing?

Give me the form.

And give me that, too.

Give me your points. Now go home.

- The competition?

Go home!

Look, there are auditions for

The X Factor right over there.

A dog won last year. An orang-utan

has a good chance this year.

Go get in line.

Let's keep moving.

Hello.

Should I stand here,

On the red dot?

Berke Gksu.

That should be Recep Ivedik.

It's written wrong.

What? You wrote your name wrong?

Didn't you fill it out yourself?

No, I didn't. I had a bad hand

so I gave it to a friend.

He wrote his name not mine

by mistake. The guy's a moron.

That's not you in the photo.

You haven't got any hair in it.

The photo's me.

It's a picture of me.

I was like that 6 months ago.

I had a hair transplant.

I had hair plug therapy.

- Plugs all over my head.

- You added eyebrows too, I see.

There's a different reason for that.

Erectile dysfunction pills.

Hairiness is a side effect.

Hairiness and madness.

Here in the brows and

at the fork.

- At the fork?

- Yeah, the ass crack.

Where the cheeks meet.

It looks like a fork.

OK, I got it. No more details.

Tell us about yourself.

What kind of person is Recep?

I'm aggressive. I have complexes.

When I open up

I'm like a p*ssy cat.

I give and give to those I love.

But I take and take from those I hate.

I'll exploit those I hate

right to the marrow.

That's the way I am,

my nature.

Do you think you can handle

the conditions on the island?

I don't think they'll cause me trouble.

There's nothing special about them.

On the island, we'll eat what we find.

Right? Meals aren't served.

It's the same in Istanbul.

I eat what I find.

I don't think it'll be any different.

As far as the toilet,

I think that on the island...

...you crap in a ditch.

That's what they say.

If that's the case, I've got a ditch

in my house in Istanbul.

I crap into it the same way.

That's the system. My toilet's been

broken for two years.

I got a big plastic wash basin and

filled it with kitty litter, menthol.

I crap into it. I've been popping in

kitty litter for 2 years.

Do you really think you can

win The Island?

If I don't win, I'm a liar and a cheat.

- What will you do with the prize money?

- What's it to you, lady?

Thank you.

You can expect a call.

- When will you call?

- Within a few days.

But which day?

Today, tomorrow, the next day?

Am I expected to wait by the phone?

Within a few days.

We need to evaluate the forms.

There are other candidates. We'll call

when we're ready. OK?

Off you go.

Thank you.

Off you go, thanks.

We haven't shaken hands.

That's right, dear neighbors.

Your brother is going off

...to a faraway place,

to strange islands...

...to represent you

What are you going to do?

What is it your duty to do?

To support me.

Remember to send your brother

lots of text messages...

...especially on elimination nights.

When I come back after a month...

...I'll check your phone records

to see who sent messages.

If I find out you haven't texted, I'll be

at you like the black angel of death.

I'd never threaten.

I just... offer advice.

I ask you, as a brother.

But if you don't you'll regret

you were ever born.

Text. OK, friends?

With your support...

...I'll come back from

that island a winner.

Off you go, Recep.

Go in health.

Win and come back safely.

- Thanks, brother.

You'll be in charge around here

while I'm gone, right Toraman?

Here, Recep. Enjoy it.

What have you done?

I wish you'd given me this earlier.

I'd have roasted it.

Recep, my mom made this for you.

I'll text all the time.

Thanks, Rifat the Moron.

- Thanks.

- Take this to remember us.

And you'll coach the team,

Hayrettin.

OK? Keep drilling.

Teach the boys offside tactics.

- OK.

- Alright. May God watch over you all.

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