Recep Ivedik 4 Page #8

look at what you say.

I know fish, sonny.

I'm not some know-nothing.

My name's Recep Ivedik, got it?

First you prod the fish like this, OK?

You check its face, its eyes.

Are the eyes full of life?

Are the eyes cloudy?

You see? My finger goes right in

that's how fresh it is.

You slap it in the face. Look.

Then you put it on the table.

You study the fish. You massage

its belly. You see?

Then we slit its belly.

You slit it like this.

You open up its belly.

Your hand goes right inside.

Look, like this.

I swim in the sea,

I'm a free fish.

I swim in the sea,

I'm a free fish

It says, as it gets speared in the head.

You follow me?

Like this. Done.

Let's clean it now.

Look, look.

Look at those scales.

- Huh?

- Look how the scales fell off.

- Right.

You could toss a handful at your

sweetheart, like rose petals. Right?

- Would it do any good?

- Of course it would. Why not?

She'd fall madly in love.

Women love beastly men.

Never forget that.

We've gone from fish to this.

The hairier a man's body the more

irresistible he is to women.

Got it? Women get all dolled up.

Puff up like a turkey.

Men put on their own show.

Look at my body, look at my body.

Look at it, look at it.

Do you understand?

You know those matadors in Spain?

Go there and you'll see all the ladies

chasing after the matadors.

You sure will. They're all trying

to sleep with a matador.

I saw it myself.

That's how it works.

- Brother?

- What?

Your hand.

Ah! My God!

What happened to my hand?

It suddenly turned into a paw.

It's an animal's hand.

My hand's in bad shape.

What are we going to do?

Back home we'd put some

ammonia on it.

Where can we find ammonia

on this island?

They say pee contains it.

- Pee?

- Urine.

- Pee on my hand.

Pee on it, Halil Ibo.

Pee on it quick.

Pee.

Where are you pissing?

Do it on my hand.

Man you've got a lot of pee.

You pissed on my hand 10 times

and we washed it with seawater.

- It's still not normal.

- But the swelling's gone down?

It has, but it sure smells bad.

Hold this.

Give me that.

This is why I took his glasses.

I'm going to reverse the lens.

I rigged up a telescope to

spy on the other island.

I saw his glasses dangling

from his pocket...

...and gave him a hug

to lighten his load.

Let me see.

Ah! They're having fun over there.

Wow, wow.

There are the three horsemen.

They're cavoring like dolphins.

Like colts, like mares.

It's bombastic and fantastic.

What kind of compassion is that.

A fruit basket full of all things.

- Oan I see?

- Just a second, sonny.

Ah, the mysteries of this world.

What wonders thou hath wrought.

Oh my, she's doing suppersaults.

Well, well, well,

she's doing suppersaults.

- Oan I have a look?

- Hang on a second.

I'm looking at something.

Oh, the sweet life.

The picture of contentment.

A corner of paradise.

Want a look?

- Oan I?

- Go on.

I tested you, and you failed.

Who are you to look when I'm here?

- I'm sorry.

Why the long face?

- I miss Tuge.

- Who's Tuge?

- My fiance.

- You've got a fiance?

Uh-huh.

Look at you. When's the wedding?

If fate allows, when I win

the competition.

So you won't have a wedding.

- Why not?

Because I'm going to win.

- So be it.

May the lovers be united.

OK, if I win I'll

throw you a modest...

...not at all expensive, wedding.

- Really?

- I promise I will.

Thanks, what can I say?

I'll do it. I consider it a duty.

I'm like a big brother to you.

I have known love, too.

I have experienced fickle love.

Who did you love?

A woman named Sibel.

- What happened?

- I couldn't tell her.

- Why?

I was all ready to tell her,

after handing her the marbles.

When she said she was engaged

I bottled it up inside.

You've been through a lot.

- Of course I have.

I'm an animal on the outside

but a baby on the inside.

- That's you, alright.

- A real baby.

- Shall I sing a folk song?

- Go on.

Don't lean against the pear tree.

Don't trust tongues of sugar.

Enough! We're sleeping over here!

OK then! Go back to sleep!

You'll be sleeping all winter,

for three months.

So what if you miss one night?

Bear. Angus.

She knows not the language of love.

She knows nothing of the heartstrings.

They've spoiled the night.

Their hearts are coated with butter.

Hello, everyone.

Hello.

Today we will say goodbye to a

contestant from the losing team...

...after we play another

elimination challenge.

This is the foam challenge.

It looks funny but is difficult.

First, everyone competes alone...

...and then with a partner.

Do you have any questions?

Good. The first contestants

can go to the staring line.

The blue team won.

A girl passed you

How can a dude live that down?

We're at a critical juncture.

The blue team is up 2-1.

If the blue team wins this round

they win the challenge.

See what happened to us?

If we lose again they win.

But if the red team wins

it will be a 2-2 tie...

...and couples will compete.

The team leaders can go

to the staring line.

Oome on, Recep.

Taylan, you'll win.

The team leaders are ready.

The competition is fierce.

Oome on, Recep.

Recep!

Good job. Way to go, Recep.

Oome on.

2-2.

That's it!

- Good job.

I'm here to bury fake Hercules.

I'm here to bury fake

Oonan the Barbarians.

My name is Recep Ivedik.

And that's that.

Oongratulations to the red team.

Taylan and Eda from the blue team...

...and Recep and Gaye from the red team

will now compete.

Take your places.

- Irfan?

- Yes?

I hurt my leg in the last contest.

I don't want to strain it worse.

I'd like to withdraw if possible.

What's that? No,

that's impossible.

- You'll finish it out. Right, Irfan?

- What happened to your leg?

- It hurts.

- There's nothing wrong with it.

- Please.

- That leg is just fine.

It's perfectly healthy.

Recep, you'll have to compete

with a female...

...so we'll pair you with Aslihan

since Gaye is injured.

No way. That's impossible.

No, Irfan.

Don't say that

It's out of the question.

I can't compete with her

as my partner.

That would be great, Irfan.

It'll be nice and fun.

It's impossible, Irfan.

Don't we have to slide?

Won't we be tied together?

- Yes.

What will we be tied with?

We'd need a towing cable.

There's no rope strong enough.

I can't do it. Not with her.

Irfan, I'll compete if I have to.

She's so eager to slide in cream.

Why doesn't production give her

a few boxes of cream...

...and let her lather up and

slide all she wants?

This is a contest. It's impossible.

Will the couples please proceed

to the staring line?

Just look at this.

It's all your fault.

Are you ready?

Look, we need some acceleration...

...and you'll go like a truck

whose brakes have failed.

- Momentum?

- You don't even know the word?

Velocity. Speed. Rate of change.

Don'tjump the median

into our lane.

What if I jumped straight onto

you without the median?

I warned you earlier.

No fighting.

Let's concentrate on the game.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes