Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical Page #2

hanging like a jewel

upon the cheek of night

hark, what light through

yonder window breaks here?

we'll be future spouses

put a plague on both

our houses if we're wrong

shakespeare!

The sad truth is

that if our schools

Spent less time indoctrinating

our children

In the works

of bill shakespeare

And focused instead on the

work of a far superior author...

Well, things might have

turned out differently.

And the delicate heart

of young love

Might not have been stabbed.

Stabbed and pinned

to the shameful corkboard of...

The reefer den!

Come on, mae.

Get up off your duff.

What time is it,

jack?

Time to give this place

a going-Over.

It looks like the marines

have landed.

That bunch last night

was high enough

To take over the marines

and the navy.

Party's over, sally.

What a night -

I was in more laps

than a napkin.

Great,

now the damn baby's awake.

Hold your water!

Hold your water!

Mama's coming.

Hold your wa- Ooh!

Oh... oh...

Damn stairs.

Oh!

Yeah!

Look at all this weed!

Pastures of plenty!

Keep your ham hooks

off my product.

Just checking for bugs.

Aah! Aah!

Need a better class

of clientele.

At least they're old enough

to know what they're doing...

Not like some of those

young kids you bring up here.

Ah, stop squawking at me.

You got more static

than the radio.

I'm gonna press bricks

over to the five-And-Dime,

Bring back

a couple more kids.

You got a problem with that?

Well, maybe I do.

You better tune me in

and get my signal right.

Around here,

i call the shots.

Jack...

Oh, that's right...

Almost forgot.

You can't get through

the morning

Without a little toot,

can you?

See you in the funny papers.

I ought to leave him

but something makes me stay

it's the stuff

i'd try to kill him

but my guy gives me love

and the stuff

sometimes he's rough

he throws me down the stairs

but deep inside he cares

he buys me lingerie

and the stuff

oh, oh, oh

oh, oh, oh

I was a student

good grades and so naive

till the stuff

a handsome stranger

some empty promises

lots of stuff

but I don't get hooked

i'm not addicted, no

I just enjoy the glow

I like to have my fun

no harm to anyone

though the fun

sometimes escapes me

when jack gets stoned

and rapes me

nothing numbs me better

than the stuff

oh, oh, oh

than the stuff

In the latest issue

of scientific american,

The federal bureau of narcotics

Tells us that marijuana

possesses an addictive power

Beyond even that

of heroin or cocaine.

Yes?

Are you sure

about your facts there?

No, no.

Why do you ask, mr...

Kochinski.

My wife's cousin had himself

a problem with the heroin,

And I done some reading,

and let me tell you,

There's nothing more addictive

than that stuff.

Kochinski...

Russian name...

Isn't it?

It was polish.

Actually, it's polish.

Of course.

I certainly applaud

Your brave unwillingness

to believe something

Simply because it's printed

in a silly magazine

With the word "american"

in the title.

You stand as a shining example

to your comrades...

And the rest of us.

Well, my wife might have

mixed up the story.

I- I think it was marijuana

that her cousin was hooked on.

It's bad -

It's bad stuff.

Bad stuff, indeed.

Would that it had been

mere heroin...

For,

ladies and gentlemen,

Marijuana

is an insidious master

Seeking slaves not in

the dark jungles of africa,

But right here

in each of our 48 states.

after school has let out

we just like to get out

to the place where

jitterbugging's always in style

satchmo is a-Singing,

dorsey is a-Swinging

a syncopated wonderland

that brings on a smile

come and stretch

your dance abilities

nobody is feeling

ill at ease

when your toes are tapping,

anything can happen

down at the old

five-And-Dime

dancing, dancing

razzmatazz that always

has you sashaying, swaying

buy your gal some jujubes,

she'll be swooning

spooning down at the old

five-And-Dime

if you're feeling gloomy,

glide on over to me

try the finest cherry fizz

in all of the land

my after-School oasis

gets the hopeless cases

hopping and a-Bopping

to the five-And-Dime band

you can buy yourself

a pack of smokes

laugh at all my corny

knock-Knock jokes

gotta take the gang out

to the local hangout

where benny goodman is king

So, you really gonna give her

your school ring?

And how!

Boy, that mary lane is one

slinky piece of homework,

An e-Flat dillinger,

A hop and a skip

to tastytown!

I sure wouldn't mind taking

a bite out of that tomato!

Hands off, mickey!

I'm hep.

Here goes nothing.

dancing, dancing

then enjoy

some funny books

we get frisky, risky

cool off with

a malted milk

we're all bumping,

come jump in

down at the old

five-And-Dime

Mary, I got something

to ask you.

Did you hear the announcement

at school today?

Next week, president roosevelt

is coming to town.

Wow! You know, my pop says

He's a labor-Appeasing,

supreme-Court packing bolshevik.

Well, I don't know

about all that boy stuff.

But the important thing

Is there's going to be a big

dance contest in his honor.

And I want you

to be my partner.

Dance contest?

Jeez, I don't know.

What's to know?

I've been working

on our routine.

Feast your peepers

on this.

feel the crazy rhythm

in your feet

everybody keep it

"reet petite"

blazing bright as neon,

maybe we could be on

"major bowes' amateur hour"

What's the wait, nate?

I got two left feet,

and they're on backwards.

If mary sees me dancing,

i'll lose her.

Oh, yeah.

Mickey!

I'm hep.

Well, I have to change into my

coveralls for 4-H club tonight.

I'll see you there.

Hey, kid, i'm jack.

I'm jimmy.

Pleased to meet you.

sometimes

men would come to call

who stank of sin

and barbasol

they'd ask kids

if they felt at all

like having themselves

a few kicks

Jimmy -

As in jimmy cagney?

Don't I wish.

Girl trouble, huh?

Yeah, I got

just the cure.

What say you and i

blow this popsicle stand

And find ourselves

a real party.

Gee, that's awfully nice,

mr. Jack,

But i'm meeting my girlfriend

at 4-H club later.

Come on,

we'll have some laughs -

Half-Hour, tops.

Gee...

I don't know.

Suit yourself.

Guess you're not the hep cat

i took you for.

Oh!

Wow!

You sure shake

a wicked calf.

Can you teach me

how to dance like that?

By the time I get through,

You'll make fred astaire

look like barney google.

Come on.

Well, if you're sure

it'll only be a half-Hour.

Kid, that's a promise

from me to you.

dancing, dancing

charleston

till your tootsies ache

we'll be grinning, spinning

romping to the savoy stomp

we're rug-Cutting, strutting

then as a coda

we drink ice-Cream soda

here down at the old

five-And-Dime, yeah!

Do your children enjoy

jazz music?

For I am here to tell you

that cab calloway,

Dizzy gillespie,

duke ellington,

And the whole weed-Blowing,

ginger-Colored lot

Are merely masquerading

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