Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical Page #3

as musicians

And are, in fact,

agents of evil.

Reefer slows down

the smoker's sense of time,

Allowing him to squeeze in

unnecessary grace notes,

Giving this voodoo music

The power to hypnotize

white women

Into indulging in acts

of unspeakable degradation.

Oh!

You will find

this profane music

Wherever you find marijuana.

Hear that?

It's the national anthem

of sodom and gomorrah.

Faster, sally!

Faster!

One of them...

That's it, sally!

That's it!

Ooh!

Man, i'm starving.

We got any eats?

Everybody,

take it on the heel!

Get the lead

out of your shorts!

Am-Scray, am-Scray!

Damn cowbell.

Damn baby.

Damn... stuff.

Come on in, kid.

Make yourself cozy.

Who's that?

Ralph - Used to be

a college boy.

Mae, this is jimmy harper.

He's okay.

Aw, jack, this kid can't be

more than 15.

Oh, 16, madam.

The name's mae...

And a madam runs a different

kind of house.

Shut up!

Good baby.

Oh, god.

Say, who's the new fish?

Oh, i'm j-J-Jimmy.

Sally, why don't you

and j-J-Jimmy

Get better acquainted?

Give him the usual.

If I can't turn him on,

he ain't got switches.

How tall are you,

anyway?

Uh, 5'9".

Let's forget the 5 feet and

concentrate on the 9 inches.

Whoopsie.

No harm done...

hero.

Ow!

I'm telling you, I want

that jimmy kid out of here.

He's too young -

I got hooked at that age,

And i'm not doing it

to anybody else.

Do I have water in my ear,

or you giving me guff?

This is my house,

and I say he goes!

Is everything okay?

Just fell,

that's all.

Oh, let me light your cigarette

for you, there, sally.

This isn't a cigarette.

It's a real smoke -

Reefer.

Let's share it.

Oh, no, I shouldn't.

Um... it's been great

meeting you folks,

But I ought to head over

to 4-H club.

I'm teaching some of the newbies

how to make a potato clock.

I didn't think you were

such a moldy fig.

Or maybe you're scared.

I'm not either!

Prove it.

come on, jimmy,

come on, jimmy

suck it down for sally

come on, jimmy,

come on, jimmy

suck it down for sally

Thank you, sally,

But I honestly don't think

it's such a good idea.

come on, jimmy,

come on, jimmy

suck it down for sally

come on, jimmy,

come on, jimmy

suck it down for sally

I gotta get out of here.

You've gotten me

all confused.

take a toke of tea stick,

take a toke of tea stick

smoke it, you may choke at

first, but then the worst is over

don't be a chicken

don't, jimmy, don't do it,

don't be a fool

No! No!

No! No!

smoke the marijuana

sail the sea of sin

reach a hot nirvana

tremble from within

serve your appetite

plan to stay the night

I am standing

at temptation's door

I have never

felt this way before

join the wonder dance

lose the underpants

No!

someone save me

there's no place to hide

from this hellacious

magic-Carpet ride

open up your mind,

let your body soar

arms and legs entwined,

cry, "more, more, more"

if a year goes by,

it might seem a day

if a day goes by,

it could take a year

space recedes

at blinding speeds

your lust is on the rise

moloch

tender virgin

fresh as morning dew

i've been eagerly

expecting you

live the greater life

live the satyr life

eros beckons

feel the need increase

every fiber

burns for sweet release

live a little dream

leave a little mess

everybody scream

"yes, yes, yes"

can't you feel the flush

of pulsing pagan fire?

come and feel the rush

fly higher and higher

dancing naked

as the sinful adam

voodoo jungle drums

coupled with a wicked madam

till the morning comes

yes, we're waiting

for your business

in this carnal carnivale

take a one-Way ticket

to the bacchanal

so come on, jimmy, come on,

give me reefer love

Sally:

smoke the marijuana

sail the sea of sin

and reach a hot nirvana

tremble from within

yes, we're waiting

for your business

in this carnal carnivale

take a one-Way ticket

to the bacchanal

so come on, jimmy, come on,

give me reefer love

Mary:

knock, knock.

Oh, therefore art

thou romeo.

I've been looking for you

everywhere.

Well, I haven't been

everywhere!

Well, what a thing to say.

I was wondering if we

could practice our steps

For the presidential dance.

It's only a few days away,

And with you being so

mysteriously busy all the time,

I wanted to make sure we could

get in enough rehearsal.

Jimmy, is something wrong?

Why?

Should something be wrong?

Stop hounding me.

Stop hounding me!

I didn't think I was.

I -

Oh.

It's me, isn't it?

You don't love me anymore.

You haven't even tried to kiss

me in almost a week.

Kiss?

Is that what you want?

Let me show you

a few new moves!

Aah!

That was your tongue!

Jimmy harper,

what's come over you?

Mercifully, mary had no idea

what had come over jimmy.

But she feared the worst.

the sermon today

was really exciting

yahweh was mad

and did plenty of smiting

with locusts and plagues

and little green froggies

all that and more

thundered down from the sky

I reached for your hand

like I always do

but beside me was just

an empty wooden pew

there's hymnals

and a rosary

but they don't

keep me company

the wafers now

don't taste so great

they won't transubstantiate

without you near

the gospel choir

sounds askew

jimmy, come back

and fill my lonely pew

a gloomy church

that you're not in

can lead a girl

to mortal sin

a lady asked,

"is this seat taken?"

I lied, I guess

I told her, "yes"

I pray a holy shining star

shining, twinkling star will

lead you home from where you are

where, oh, where you are

in a fog or lost at sea

or could it be

you're tired of me?

it's a line of thought

i'd rather not pursue

rather not pursue, mm-Ooh

jimmy, come back

and fill my lonely

pew

I've got the window open.

Give me a boost!

Ow!

Shh! Shh!

How much you think

is in there?

If jack don't get his green,

we don't get ours!

Cool your jets!

Hear that? We got more scratch

than a sandpaper factory.

This'll keep us in the straw

for at least a week!

That's good!

Frankincense - Wow!

Reefer...

Madness...

Welcome to club celestial.

I am your host,

joan of arc.

No christian martyr

works it harder.

The many voices in my head

Tell me that we have a special

guest in the house tonight,

James fenimore harper!

Tonight jimmy will be taught

the error of his ways

By the brightest star

in our heavenly firmament -

The lord of hosts,

the stranger from the manger,

The hardest-Working man

in the afterlife,

Give it up for jesus!

Aw, jesus...

I got a great high

cooking here.

Don't bring me down.

On the contrary, jimmy...

I'm here to bring you up

with dope.

No, not your brand

of dope,

But the straight dope.

You think those reefer fiends

are cool?

I don't think you realize

how cool god can be.

I floated down from heaven

when I heard a lamb

had strayed

look at you here

your brain has turned

to marmalade

i'm here to help you, jimmy

and return you to the fold

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