Relative Evil Page #6

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just stop it now!

Sure, Ernie.

Whatever you say.

[door closing]

[melancholy music]

(Ernie)

She's learning Spanish now.

Ain't that something?

My little seorita.

(man)

Good night,

Ernie.

Well, yeah, sure,

people talk,

but you know, I-I-I think

they're just jealous,

what me and Dot got.

Yeah.

[sniffing]

Hey, Bobby.

Whaddya know,

whaddya say?

Hey.

Uh-huh.

[woman calling eerily]

JJ.

JJ.

[exhaling slowly]

[breathing continues]

[phone ringing]

[ringing continues]

[brakes screeching]

Yeah.

What?

When?

Sh*t.

Uh, Uncle Ernie--he was

walking back from the bar,

and it seems a car must have--

must have lost control

and a hit-and-run

or something,

and they found him

in the snowbank.

He's in a coma.

[Dot sobbing]

Do you think I don't know that

everybody's talking about me?

Like I go

in the bank,

and everybody suddenly

shuts up.

I never have

to wait in line.

It was like I had foam coming

out of my mouth or something.

It ain't contagious.

It's just

bad luck.

Uncle Ernie seems to have

caught a mild case of it.

Yeah, well, that don't

keep him from talking.

Oh, no, they just--

How is Ernie?

Still

unconscious.

Fortunately,

the freezing cold

slowed the bleeding,

you know,

and the doctor seemed to feel

he could be all right

when he

wakes up.

If he

wakes up.

[sobbing]

Poor little Ernie.

JJ, run out

and get your aunt's suitcase,

sweetie, okay?

[whispering gruffly]

What?

She's staying here?

Well, she certainly

can't stay alone now.

[Dot sobbing]

Oh, no,

it's all right,

Phyllis.

I'll be perfectly fine

at home.

See, she'll be fine.

Absolutely not, Dot.

This family

might not have a lot,

but we have each other.

You were here

for JJ;

we're going to be

here for you.

Here?

[whispering]

Be nice.

[Dot sobbing]

Here, sweetie.

Here's Mr. Bear, okay?

Thank you.

(Phyllis)

I'm going to make sure

we have clean towels.

[whimpering]

Let me ask you something,

there, Dot.

[sighing whinily]

Did Ernie have

life insurance?

It's just

bad luck, Bull.

You know Ernie.

He was probably

a little tipsy.

He was stumbling home

from the bar.

He fell.

Somebody gave him

a little bump.

That ain't bad luck;

that's manslaughter.

[casually]

Hmm.

Where was your car

last night, Dot?

The police already

checked it out.

It's fine.

No dents, no pings.

Well, you know,

hospital's expensive.

Like I said,

it's just bad luck.

Besides, I have

other investments.

Not anymore.

[door opening]

What in the world do you think

you're talking about?

Deal's off

is what I'm talking about.

Oh, I'm sorry, Bull,

but it doesn't work that way.

The month's paid for,

so there is still

13 days left

in this ball game.

There were rules, Dot,

and you broke 'em.

You brought

somebody else in.

Foul, Dot.

You fouled out!

I wonder what Phyllis'll

think about all this.

She'll understand.

Oh, she won't understand

about this.

You ought to take a look

at that contract again.

Funny--you won't find my name

anywhere on it.

I'll explain it

to her.

I'm sorry, Bull.

We can't afford

to be selfish now.

I tried to explain that

to Ernie.

[door slamming]

Look, I'll give you

your f***ing 2 grand back.

You just call it off.

Oh, that's real

sweet of you, Bull.

Don't got the stomach

for it?

Thank God I do.

Thank God I know

what's best for this family.

What's best is

you keep away from JJ.

I'm warning you.

Sure, Bull.

Anything you say.

[machine beeping]

(JJ)

Why'd you take me

out of group?

I thought you enjoyed

having an audience too much.

What's the matter?

No more

funny anecdotes?

I think I should be

back in group.

I think

we should be alone

until you recognize

that you are a very real person.

I don't think you ever

truly believe you existed.

Don't get nutty

on me, Doc.

But you exist.

I have proof:

hospital records,

court records.

People are

paying attention.

Hey, kid,

you're late.

Here you go, ma'am.

All right,

here you go.

Thanks.

It's all there.

Uh, your receipt.

[sniffing and humming]

[door opening]

(JJ)

Are you okay?

Coping.

How was work?

It was fine.

Where's Mom and Pop?

It's just

you and me, JJ.

JJ, freshen me up.

Thanks, sweetheart.

[swallowing deeply]

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

I didn't say when.

[giggling]

Warms me up.

[giggling]

I'm sorry.

How long's

it been, JJ?

Six months.

Ah.

16 days.

Doesn't seem fair,

does it?

Working hard

like you do,

no Miller Time

for you.

I guess I've had

enough Miller Time

for the entire

NASCAR circuit.

[Dot chuckling]

Sit down, JJ.

Let me ask you

something.

How long are you supposed

to keep this up?

Is there a test

or something?

Look,

it's really not

about proving

anything, all right?

This is just me now.

Just you?

[laughing]

No,

it's not you, JJ.

It's not you

at all.

Hey, remember when

I caught you stealing my pills?

Remember?

Ernie was off

at work,

and I was in the next room

with the holy Father,

sneaking him down

to his skivvies.

He was moaning away

in Latin.

(JJ)

You were singing He's Got

the Whole World in His Hands.

(Dot)

And then I caught you lying

at the bottom of the bathtub,

trying to hide,

and you were zonked out

on half a bottle of Valium.

[chuckling]

I learned a lot

about the Bible

trapped

in that bathroom.

We're all people,

JJ.

We're all

just weak people.

Sit over here.

Come on, honey.

Sit with

your Aunt Dot.

I want to show you

something.

(JJ)

What is it?

Read it.

It's an insurance policy.

Yeah, I found it

in the glove compartment

of the Beetle.

It's an awful lot

of money.

Bull's careful.

I'm sure

we all have insurance.

Yeah, yeah,

of course we do.

It's for, what,

$75,000.

Well, you're certainly

worth $75,000.

Insurance is

for everybody.

Mm-hmm.

It's just in case.

Bull is very--

Bull's being careful;

yeah, you said.

Yeah.

You liked

listening to us?

Me and the deacon?

Sh*t, Dot, I mean--

You can tell me, JJ.

It ain't like

we're related or anything.

I'll bet you couldn't wait

to tell all your friends.

I didn't tell

anybody.

Nobody?

It was your secret?

Our secret.

Well, I ain't

such an old woman

that we can't have

more secrets, JJ.

Why don't you have

a drink with me?

Dot...

Come on.

Share mine

with me.

[footsteps approaching]

(Benji)

It isn't snowing!

You promised

to play baseball with me

when it ain't

snowing!

And it's not!

Yeah, I did.

I did.

You know, I did.

I promised Benji,

and, you know,

I'd love to talk to you, Dot,

and, um, thank you,

but, you know,

tryouts are coming up,

and, um, and the weather

being like it is.

And damn, you know?

Isn't weather

funny?

Button up.

[door closing]

[man over TV]

Good evening.

A freak winter storm watch

continues,

as we expect an addition

6 to 10 inches of snow

through the night.

Schools and most businesses

remain closed,

the highways blocked

from the Parkway north,

and road crews are

doing everything they can

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