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I had those chicks in my pocket,

but those guys saw me as a threat.

A what?

- A threat.

I was a threat to them.

A threat, you mean.

Have you turned gay or what?

I thought you'd buy vodka?

- This was on special offer.

The fourth came for free.

Why do we always have to booze it up'?

Dude, you're acting like a p*ssy already.

- Dude, I'm drinking, alright.

We're always hammered

before we even meet a chick.

You have to find that sweet spot

between being brave and hammered.

The D-spot.

But how do you know where it is?

That's a matter of training.

You have to drink a lot and often.

Alright, homies.

I had them printed.

The black one is for anal sex.

Listen, you f*ggot.

This man won't do it with a condom.

You won't?

- No.

Wait until you have chlamydia

and you have to be seated all day...

...while your balls are covered

with festering spots.

You won't dare go to the pool,

because people will see...

...scabies running on your upper legs.

Faggots.

Can't we go to some other place?

Want some?

Hello, ladies.

Hi, man.

- Hi, Mike. Come on in.

Hey, Lil' Kleine.

My homeboy.

I need to crap.

Funky song, man.

Let's drink something.

- No, I think I'm past my D-spot.

Hi, guys.

A shot?

Guys?

Here we go.

That's that little slut from the campsite.

- Give me a break.

Go on, then.

I'll look her up on Snapchat.

- Snapchat is for pussies.

She's standing right over there.

Go to her.

Go.

I'm going.

You're still standing here.

What do I say to her?

- The first thing you think of.

Didn't you arrive at our campsite today?

- That's right.

Rosalie.

- Bas.

We've organized a beach party. My uncle

let me organize it all by myself...

...so I booked this awesome act

and arranged everything.

Will you come too?

Sure.

Why don't I help you with those flyers?

Dude, is your butt plug stuck?

Do you have some News h Km ma'?

Well, well.

Harry Potter in the house.

Why don't you introduce us?

I saw you earlier at the campsite.

You have a nice appearance.

Thanks.

- Shots.

How cool of you to organise a beach party.

Who's coming?

We have DJ Rocky

and there will also be a special act.

Who?

- That's still a secret.

A secret?

Even to me?

Music to me is a way of release, you know?

I've been through a lot of sh*t.

I lived on the streets for a while...

...I lost friends to dope.

I put all this in my lyrics.

Out of the way, fatso.

The post-modern paradigm

has always been subject...

to an unstable ontological principle.

I mean, when there is no longer

an objective reality...

...how can one even speak of facts at all?

Everything is relative, man.

- Exactly.

Is everything okay?

You know...

You are really...

Have you been fighting?

Those guys asked for it.

Do you want to come to the beach

with us?

Yo, dude.

Come.

AM AT THE BEACH WITH CHICKS

WILL TEXT LOCATION SHORTLY

Thijs.

Let's f***.

Let's go home.

Hi, guys.

Booze, awesome.

Here you go.

I'm the one who came along

with those b*tches.

So you came along with those b*tches?

Maybe we should ask those b*tches

if they even want you here.

Can Humpty Dumply stay or not?

No.

Piss off, idiot.

Is this seat taken?

May I sit down?

Why are you at the beach so early?

I'm jogging here.

- That's great.

I do that every morning.

I want to keep in shape, you know?

Oui .

- Who?

Me.

Who else?

You're funny.

Are you here by yourself?

- No, my parents have a house here.

And you?

I'm here with friends, but...

...I'm really here to gain inspiration

for my songs.

I'm a rapper.

- That's brilliant.

I like rap and hip hop music.

Maybe I know one of your songs?

Well, I'm a bit underground.

The somewhat tougher sh*t, you know.

From the streets.

I follow completely.

I like Aesop, Phat Kat, Stevie Stone.

Exactly...

...but my style has a bit more flow.

People in Japan download me a lot.

'Is, Baa

Ne, Me. Where axe you'?

We're looking for you everywhere.

Where are you?

I got laid.

- What did you say'?

I got laid.

I got laid.

Bon apptit .

So you can't remember who

or what she looked like?

Then how do you know you've f***ed?

Dude, that's gross.

Is that crap on the outside?

F***ing is f***ing.

Luca, where have you been?

How are you?

Awesome.

You?

Yeah, great.

Guys, Master Luca has a date.

- With your right hand?

No, Gollum, with Emmanuelle.

She's from France or something.

She's f***ing hot.

- The picture was taken this morning.

Looks genuine.

-of course.

This is the real world, game boy.

- Why don't you take her to the beach?

Dude, I'm not gonna introduce her to you.

Find your own chick, man...

...to puke all over her.

Hi.

Sorry about yesterday.

I had a few drinks too many.

I noticed, yes.

I should pay more attention

to my D-spot, I suppose.

People are drinking all the time

lo make things look better.

I don't really need alcohol

to see what's fun.

That's smooth.

Why don't you and I

have a non-alcoholic drink tonight?

Half past five at the reception then?

- That's fine.

SORRY MOST SHOWERS ARE BROKEN

YOU CAN USE MINE IF YOU WAN ROSALIE

WHERE ARE YOU:

You have to pour the milk

when it's fresh.

What the f*** are you doing?

Goddamned.

Come here.

I'll f***ing kill you.

Faggots.

Sorry.

Dudes...

- Look, a homo sapiens.

Back to your roots.

- Guys...

You are so early.

I' still have to change.

Do you want something to drink?

My parents are not at home.

No, thanks.

I'm detoxing, so...

0kay,L"

Did you know Lil' Kleine is performing

in Goes tomorrow?

No.

Yes, I mean.

I saw the poster.

He's so cool.

Yes.

Shall we?

At least you got to see her naked.

At least you got to see her naked.

The whole campsite saw me naked.

- Look at the bright side.

I had the hots for a friend's mother once.

Extremely hot and divorced.

A real milf, you know.

One time, when I stayed over at his,

I snuck into her bed.

She was naked, I was naked.

So hot.

In the end, a restraining order

was imposed on me until 2020.

And you tell us this because...

- Face it...

you never had a chance.

It's time to move forward.

There's more than enough chicks.

I never would have thought

I'd say this, but he's got a point there.

There's a spot right there.

Oh, no.

Sorry.

This is a great spot...

...with a wonderful view of the sea.

What's that?

That's Dickje.

I took that tattoo

when she was run over.

I miss her, man.

Tits.

Wanna do a James Bond?

Daniel Craig, man.

Wail.

How are you?

Good.

Weren't you running around

at that campsite or what?

Lonneke.

- Maaike.

Baa.

Are you enjoying the sun?

Say, why don't you come

have a drink with us?

What are you doing?

I'm just rubbing suntan lotion

on your skin.

A real gentleman.

Will you please rub it all over my body?

And there I sat with Snoop Dogg

and his homies, smoking dope in a Jacuzzi.

He's such a chill guy.

Yes, of course.

- 0ui, super.

Say. .-

Do you fancy a drink at my place?

My parents won't be home in two hours.

Yes, I'd like that.

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