Reno 911!: Miami Page #9

Synopsis: A rag-tag team of Reno cops are called in to save the day after a terrorist attack disrupts a national police convention in Miami Beach during spring break. Based on the Comedy Central series.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Robert Ben Garant
Production: 20th Century Fox
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
5.9
Metacritic:
47
Rotten Tomatoes:
34%
R
Year:
2007
84 min
$20,277,437
Website
489 Views


- Auf Wiedersehen.

- All right.

- She speaks Dutch.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Tell me the truth.

You are a lesbian, right?

I ain't gonna tell nobody.

I don't know how many times

or how many ways I have to say this.

I am not a lesbian.

I'm pretty sure she is.

Get back on your Commie f***in' raft,

and get the hell back to Cuba.

And you know what?

Tell Castro we said, "Hey, what's up?"

- [Gunshots]

- Now!

[Phone Rings]

You know you're going

through X-ray, don't you?

How does it work?

What the hell kind of a-

- Oh, see, it's like that.

You put it in, and then you-

- Don't- Don't do that.

- Okay. What's that for?

- This gets the resin out, and then you- Here.

- You suck the resin off. Get high.

- Don't, don't, don't-

But you can also do a shotgun-

You can shotgun it too.

Well, wait, I can- No, you shotgun it

off of here. You light the middle.

- And then you light it, and you go-

- Oh, that's shotgunnin' it.

- Double bong. Double bong.

- Please- Please don't do that.

- You suck on that. You suck on this end.

- That end right there-

- And then you-

- Okay, no-

- What does it do?

- That is inserted in the anus...

and then you pull this to extract

impacted fecal matter.

I'm a proctologist.

- That explains the- the taste of the old butt.

- Yeah.

####[Man Singing]

####[Continues]

####[Continues]

####[Ends]

####[Vocalizing]

####[Ends]

- Check it out.

- [Beeping]

- That one works.

- [Beeping]

[Beeping Continues]

- Is it workin'? It's stuck.

- The bag's stuck in there?

- The bag's stuck.

- Here, well, get it in-

- What's the radioactive symbol for?

- Uh-

- Can you get it?

- Wait. Okay, wait, push it this way.

- Push it which way?

- Yeah.

- That way?

- No, th- No, other way. Other way. Other way.

Please. Other way.

Ow! Motherf***er! Goddamn it!

- Hang on. Hang on, I got it!

- Ow! Ahh!

- Oh, don't!

- I got it. I got it. I got it.

No, no, no, no!

Jesus! Ohh! Ohh!

Please stop it.

Please stop it. Ow!

Oh. Hey, okay, okay, okay!

- Oh, my God.

- Please, don't move again.

- You never had your wisdom teeth out?

- What do you mean?

- I think you might need

your wisdom teeth out, bro.

- What are wisdom teeth?

Is it goin'? Is it goin'?

Do l- Do I talk now? Do I talk?

Do I look at you,

or do I look into the thing?

You know, they told us just to

act natural when the cameras are on...

but, uh, you know,

you feel kinda like a-

Feel likeJeff Gordon or something

with the camera on me all the time.

Wish I had something to say.

Do I look better like this- 10:00 and 12:00-

or do I look better like this?

'Cause I could also- I could roll down

a window and do, like- like this.

- Sh*t! F***! Ow!

- [Tires Squealing]

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Robert Ben Garant

Robert Ben Garant (born September 14, 1970) is an American screenwriter, producer, director, actor and comedian. He has a long professional relationship with Thomas Lennon, from their time on the seminal sketch-comedy show The State, the cop show spoof Reno 911!, and numerous screenwriting collaborations. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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