Reno 911!: Miami Page #9
- Auf Wiedersehen.
- All right.
- She speaks Dutch.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Tell me the truth.
You are a lesbian, right?
I ain't gonna tell nobody.
I don't know how many times
or how many ways I have to say this.
I am not a lesbian.
I'm pretty sure she is.
Get back on your Commie f***in' raft,
and get the hell back to Cuba.
And you know what?
Tell Castro we said, "Hey, what's up?"
- [Gunshots]
- Now!
[Phone Rings]
You know you're going
through X-ray, don't you?
How does it work?
What the hell kind of a-
- Oh, see, it's like that.
You put it in, and then you-
- Don't- Don't do that.
- Okay. What's that for?
- This gets the resin out, and then you- Here.
- You suck the resin off. Get high.
- Don't, don't, don't-
But you can also do a shotgun-
You can shotgun it too.
Well, wait, I can- No, you shotgun it
off of here. You light the middle.
- And then you light it, and you go-
- Oh, that's shotgunnin' it.
- Double bong. Double bong.
- Please- Please don't do that.
- You suck on that. You suck on this end.
- That end right there-
- And then you-
- Okay, no-
- What does it do?
- That is inserted in the anus...
and then you pull this to extract
impacted fecal matter.
I'm a proctologist.
- That explains the- the taste of the old butt.
- Yeah.
####[Man Singing]
####[Continues]
####[Continues]
####[Ends]
####[Vocalizing]
####[Ends]
- Check it out.
- [Beeping]
- That one works.
- [Beeping]
[Beeping Continues]
- Is it workin'? It's stuck.
- The bag's stuck in there?
- The bag's stuck.
- Here, well, get it in-
- What's the radioactive symbol for?
- Uh-
- Can you get it?
- Wait. Okay, wait, push it this way.
- Push it which way?
- Yeah.
- That way?
- No, th- No, other way. Other way. Other way.
Please. Other way.
Ow! Motherf***er! Goddamn it!
- Hang on. Hang on, I got it!
- Ow! Ahh!
- Oh, don't!
- I got it. I got it. I got it.
No, no, no, no!
Jesus! Ohh! Ohh!
Please stop it.
Please stop it. Ow!
Oh. Hey, okay, okay, okay!
- Oh, my God.
- Please, don't move again.
- You never had your wisdom teeth out?
- What do you mean?
- I think you might need
your wisdom teeth out, bro.
- What are wisdom teeth?
Is it goin'? Is it goin'?
Do l- Do I talk now? Do I talk?
Do I look at you,
or do I look into the thing?
You know, they told us just to
act natural when the cameras are on...
but, uh, you know,
you feel kinda like a-
Feel likeJeff Gordon or something
with the camera on me all the time.
Wish I had something to say.
Do I look better like this- 10:00 and 12:00-
or do I look better like this?
'Cause I could also- I could roll down
a window and do, like- like this.
- Sh*t! F***! Ow!
- [Tires Squealing]
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"Reno 911!: Miami" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 20 Jan. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/reno_911!:_miami_16784>.
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