Reunion Page #3

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Wait up!

Here we go!

Done!

We'll have the results

within a few days.

Great.

My sex life with Hanne hasn't been

too good the last few years.

I have a little steam built up.

Is it me, or is she kinda hot?

What the hells going on with Niels?

Niels? Are you okay?

- What's happening?

- Not a damn thing!

You can't get it up,

or nothing comes out?

Both.

It's that speech.

It's messing up his head.

Okay, Niels ...

Start by getting it hard.

Thanks for clearing that up.

Think of some woman

you've always wanted to sleep with.

That girl from school

you never got to nail.

Big-butt Eva! She's super hot.

Think about her.

And don't worry about us waiting.

That'll totally throw you off -

- and poke a big hole in your pants.

And try fondling it a bit.

That should do the trick.

We know you can do it.

Go! Go! Go!

- Way to go, Niels!

- Yippee-ki-yay!

Must've been because I got stuck.

It's never happened to me before.

What? It's the truth.

Ask Jette if you don't believe me.

- It happens to a lot of guys.

- What does?

Having a hard time performing ...

... at your age.

F***! F***! F***!

I've said it before.

Now I'm gonna say it again.

You need some

positive female attention.

That's just how men work.

Let's go, Niels.

What?

You ever been a KISS fan?

It won't come off.

- Ouch!

- It's waterproof.

Did Mikhail Gorbachev

bag a lot of chicks?

No idea. Ask Seal.

Harry Potter! He's got a lightning

bolt on his forehead. Way cool!

A lightning bolt?

Look at me. I've got the whole

Mexican Gulf spill on my face!

On a positive note,

no one's gonna focus on your age.

I'm serious! It's dark,

people are dancing and drunk ...

My cousin looks like a wrinkled dick

and he's never had a problem.

You know why?

He simply forgets himself.

He goes out and enjoys himself,

and that's what you need to do.

ANAL OINTMEN:

Wrong hole, Niels.

You guys go out.

I'm staying here in front of the TV.

Period!

Hell no, this is our time together.

If you're staying, we're staying.

The highland gorillas ...

I know you're upset,

but I'd really been -

- looking forward to going out

and maybe meeting a nice girl.

- Knock it off, Andreas.

- You should feel sorry for me.

It's like promising to take a puppy

for a walk and then telling it, down!

I know we're different,

but had it been me ...

... I would've done it.

What if she was there

tonight of all nights?

A girl you could meet

and fall in love with.

I'm standing here all clean-shaven,

but what good does it do me?

I can just walk around ...

- Hi there.

- Hi.

So, what's up?

Oliver's at a party, -

- and Sarah and I've had

a pillow fight.

She's fast asleep.

Sounds cosy.

Sarah said she misses you.

Are you aware that I love you?

Yeah. I love you, too.

I'm ...

I'm really sorry

that everything's become so ...

We'll work it out.

I'm a bit worried about Sarah.

I don't think she's happy in school.

I've been thinking

that maybe you could ...

- Are you listening?

- Yeah, sure.

Say, can I just walk you through

the topics for my speech?

Christ, you're self-absorbed.

Self-absorbed? I'm self-absorbed?

Have a little sympathy. Tomorrow I'm

standing in front of my whole class.

I'm only asking for

a tiny bit of help.

All right, I'm listening.

Thanks so much, hon.

What I want to talk about is ...

The male gorilla

is called a silverback.

Where did they go?

The dreams, I mean.

That's not pathetic.

Thomas and Andreas don't think

I sound like an old fart.

Sure, I can stand criticism,

but you're being ridiculous.

Aw, come on ...!

Now Jette's pissed. What the hell for?

We always used to support each other.

Now we know

where the action's at -

- if you weren't such an old fart.

F*** it. We're going out!

That jacket is so cool on you.

You'll be swimming in big-ass babes.

- I'm game.

- You look good.

And so do you, Niels.

In your own special way.

Anyone who doesn't score drops

his pants at the old people's home.

The old rules still apply.

Pants off. Anything less

is considered a courtesy.

Three mojitos!

Hi there.

Mojitos.

It's like God is flashing us broads -

-just because

He's not allowed to score.

Or is He?

Is He allowed to score?

He probably sticks it to the angels.

See the guy in the plaid shirt?

That's Karsten.

- The one who stole Hanne away.

- The therapist?

Ow! What the f*** was that for?

We did that to Ole in physics class.

Ow! Goddammit!

What the hell are you doing?

Sorry. That's just what I did to Ole.

I'm sorry, Niels.

Just ignore the pain.

Personally, I've had my heart broken,

walked all over and put back in.

F***ing babies. They think

they can f*** the whole world.

They don't know it, but they're

gonna f***ing die someday.

Hi there! I'm Niels.

Hillary.

I'm just gonna go and

find my friends, all right?

Niels ...

- I should call the police out on you.

- Why?

'Cause you're stealing my moves!

Cheers!

Excuse me.

- Any luck?

- Not yet.

Thomas is buying us a drink.

Fertility?

Isn't that like a disease?

Is something wrong

with your cock?

No thanks, I'm not in the mood.

Please don't.

What the f*** are you looking at?

- Please let me go.

- Come on, have a sip.

Ew, knock it off.

- Knock it off, I said!

- We just wanna talk to you.

Stop that. Stop it!

Young lady!

Didn't I tell you to be home

by one o'clock? Didn't I?

Thanks, dad.

Actually, it's not me.

It's more your mother.

She can't sleep.

She tosses and turns.

Andreas ...

This is Sanne.

Sanne, this is Andreas.

She's really cute.

Let me get us something to drink.

- Hiya. I'm Andreas.

- Sanne.

Hey!

Hello.

"Hello"?

Karsten! Karsten!

You little ...!

You stole my wife, you f***!

I didn't steal her.

She chose to leave you.

After you psycho-manipulated her!

Take it easy, Andreas.

We've talked about this.

Get over here, you piece of sh*t!

Get over here!

I'm gonna f***ing ...!

I listened to the two of you

for weeks.

You were both unhappy

in your relationship.

You don't know jack sh*t! What's so

f***ing fantastic about you, huh?

Is it your well-polished nutsack?

Let me tell you something.

My nuts are f***ing

well-polished, too!

- Where's Andreas?

- He left.

Why've you got that stuff

on your face?

It won't come off.

What?

You can't walk around like that.

I'm sure I can get it off.

I've got some make-up remover.

Let's go back to your place

and take it off.

Sure.

If you want a new relationship

you need to let go of that anger.

Anger?! Get out here!

Then I'll really let my anger go,

I promise you.

Anger is just a symptom.

You need to ask yourself

if something is making you sad.

What makes me sad is

that I haven't given you ...

... the biggest ass-kicking

in the whole f***ing world!!

That's it. Come here!

Andreas! Andreas!

Hi, Thomas.

- Hiya, Preben.

- Thomas.

Hi, Jeppe.

I'll take care of him. He's okay.

Look on the bright side. As long as

he's here, he's not f***ing Hanne.

One more.

Guess who?

- Simone.

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