Risky Business Page #3

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can you get a hot chocolate for $4?

She's here.

Where?

JOEL:

The blue dress. Those legs.

That's her.

MILES:

Jesus, she's fantastic.

Yeah.

MAN:
There's little doubt that my M.B.A.

prepared me very well...

MILES:

God, she's looking right at us.

MAN:

We are nearing the information age...

...so demand for software is certainly...

MILES:

She knows we're here.

Uh-huh.

That's it?

That's it, Joel?

I can't believe we came

all the way out here for that.

At least she knows we're on to her,

Miles.

Oh, yeah, she must be terrified.

LANA:

Joel?

Joel.

Is this your car?

Maybe.

Could we talk a minute?

Okay.

Let's talk.

Okay. In the car, all right?

It's freezing.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Look, will you do me a favor?

You want me to do you a favor?

I just need a lift.

JOEL:

Look, I want my egg back.

GUIDO:
Get out of the car!

-Joel, better get moving.

GUIDO:
Get out.

-I want my egg back.

-You got it, all right? Just start driving.

JOEL:
When?

-Now. Let's go.

-Open the door. Lana.

-When do I get it back?

LANA:
Start driving.

GUIDO:
Open the door.

Are you gonna open the door?

Hey, buster!

Oh, f***. Will you just...?

-Get off the car!

LANA:
Start driving!

Start driving, now.

-Why don't you start the car?

GUIDO:
I'm not gonna hurt you.

F***! Get out of here!

-Start the goddamn car, Joel!

GUIDO:
Lana, open the door.

[ENGINE STARTS]

GUIDO:

Hey, a**hole, don't...

Where are you going? Lana!

Get out, or I'll kill you!

[TIRES SCREECH]

Who was that guy?

My manager.

He gets a little crazy sometimes.

JOEL:

This is my friend, Miles.

Do you like excitement, Miles?

Love it.

Okay, where do you want to go?

I don't know, Joel.

I haven't given it a lot of thought.

JOEL:

Well, tell me this:

Am I going in the right direction?

[CAR HORN HONKING]

Oh, sh*t. Here he comes.

JOEL:

Here who comes?

Who, that manager guy?

[HORN HONKING]

Hey, Guido!

Big man, huh, Guido?

Big man with a gun!

What are you gonna do, huh?

Shoot us all? Stupid!

Moron.

This guy, uh, Guido...

-...he's a manager?

LANA:
That's right.

Or a pimp?

Well, now, that's quick, Joel.

You always been this quick,

or is this something new?

I don't believe this.

I've got a trig. midterm tomorrow...

...and I'm being chased by Guido,

the Killer Pimp.

Miles.

MILES:
What?

-I think I can take him.

What are you talking...?

[ENGINE REVVING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[LAUGHING]

I'm really not enjoying this.

Oh!

I think I'm gonna throw up.

I think I'm gonna throw up

on you, Joel.

Porsche...

...there is no substitute.

F*** you.

[JOEL AND LANA LAUGHING]

MOTHER:

Joel?

Hi, dear. It's Mother. Yeah.

How are you?

Just, uh, checking in to say hello,

see how you're doing...

...and, uh, give you

our flight information.

Okay.

Wait a minute.

Uh, let me write this down.

Okay. Uh, Saturday, United,

Flight 162, 3:
30.

Right. So how is everything else?

You got enough money?

Well...

...it never seems to go as far

as you think it will.

Yes, I know.

I'm learning, Mom. Okay, good.

And how is Aunt Tudi?

Okay. Uh...

All ri... Good, I will.

See... Okay. See you then.

Bye, Mom.

-Your folks, huh?

-Mm-hm.

So how are they?

Oh, they're just great.

Yeah? How about Aunt Tudi?

Hip is much better.

She sends her love also.

Oh, good.

So you were telling me about Guido.

Yeah, well, I quit Guido.

How come?

He thought he owned me.

Nobody owns me.

[SIGHS]

The problem is, I owe him

for some clothes and hospital bills...

-...and stuff.

-Oh, you were in a hospital?

Yeah, I, uh...

I had this, uh, pain in my chest.

I thought it was a heart condition.

[CAR HORN HONKING OUTSIDE]

Um... What was it?

The doctor said nerves.

Nice service.

-Reed & Barton.

-Um...

Thank you for breakfast.

It was really good.

I'm gonna go to school now.

So, uh...

...I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

I'm sorry.

You won't let me stay?

No, I've, you know,

gotta go to school.

Look, I'm really sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

[CAR HORN HONKS]

I'll be right back.

You guys go ahead without me.

MILES:

She's still here?

She won't leave.

She won't leave.

Lana, look...

...I just want my egg back.

I want my house back.

I've got a lot of work to do.

Did you have a good time last night?

You mean, when we, you know,

got back here?

I think you know what I mean.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah.

I, uh... Heh.

I had a great time.

Don't tell me

I owe you another $300.

[SIGHS]

-Did I say you owe me anything?

-No.

No, you didn't.

I don't remember saying

you owe me anything.

What...? What about my mother's egg?

You're the one who's going to college,

you figure it out.

Okay.

How much time do you need?

I need long enough

to make a few phone calls, okay?

I gotta figure out

how to get my stuff back.

Guido's probably got me

locked out of the apartment by now.

All right.

But will you do me a favor?

Anything, cookie.

Don't steal anything.

You know, if I come back here

and I find anything missing...

...I'm going straight to the police.

I'm not joking.

Joel, go to school.

Go learn something.

May I see your pass, please?

TEACHER:
I'm sure you've all read

chapters six through eight by now...

...so here's a little pop quiz

to confirm it.

Wanna put your books

on the floor, please?

-You didn't tell anyone, did you?

-No. Glenn knows.

What about Barry?

-He knows too.

JOEL:
Okay.

-Just don't tell anyone.

MILES:
I won't.

I won't! I won't!

Lab reports should be on my desk

by tomorrow afternoon.

I won't accept any that aren't typed.

[TRAIN HORN HONKING]

TEACHER:
Don't forget:

term papers are due on Friday.

They count for 50 percent

of this semester's grades...

-...so make sure they're in on time.

-Oh, damn it!

[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]

-Hi, Joel.

-Hey, Miles, what's going on?

I'm waiting for Glenn.

For Glenn? Where is he?

Inside.

In the house?

-He wanted to meet her.

-What is this?

-What are you doing?

-I was inside.

Yeah, I can see that.

So, uh...

...you're home now.

Yeah, I live here, remember?

-Yeah, take it easy, man.

-Glenn.

[SIGHS]

Tell me you didn't

do anything with her.

Who, Lana?

-Yeah, Lana.

-No.

Nothing. I met her. She's nice.

You're sure you didn't

do anything with her?

Yeah, I swear.

You did it with her,

didn't you, Glenn?

I did not do it with her, Joel.

Okay.

[DOOR OPENS]

Ask me about Vicki. Ha-ha-ha!

JOEL:
Who's Vicki?

-Owe you one. Ha-ha-ha!

You Joel? Nice place you got here.

-Where's Lana?

-Den.

VICKI:

I like your friend.

Get out. I'm not kidding.

What's your problem?

Just leave. Please.

Look, we're not exactly

ripping you off or anything.

-Look...

-Here.

-What is this for?

-Fifty goes to the house.

You're the house.

I am not the house, okay?

Just leave. I mean it.

He's mad, Vicki.

Already? I just got here.

I think he wants us to go.

Do you want us to go?

[SIGHS]

Thank you.

[TIRES SCREECH OUTSIDE]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING OUTSIDE]

GUIDO:

I don't want no problems.

You know what

you did to me last night?

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