Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind Page #11

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For those

of you at home...

Jack is getting ready

to bring out a five iron.

Robin, since they didn't

give you an award,

-you can have...

-Oh, thank you.

...both of their names

in the tie.

Thank you.

I want to thank

Jack Nicholson

and Daniel Day-Lewis

for giving me this

piece of paper.

Has their names

on it, not mine.

And I'm glad

to be left out

of this incredible group.

I want to thank Jack

for-- he is, to me,

the greatest actor,

and Daniel Day-Lewis,

the greatest actor.

And... I'm just

a hairy actor.

And it's been

a wonderful evening

for me to--

to walk away

with nothing.

Coming here

with no expectations,

leaving here

with no expectations...

it's pretty much been

a Buddhist evening for me.

-Thank you.

-(applause)

Zak:

His pathos was seeking

to entertain and please.

And... he felt...

when he wasn't doing that,

he was not succeeding...

as a person.

And that was

always hard to see...

because in so many

senses, he is the most

successful person I know...

and yet he didn't

always feel that.

-Good morning

in Kandahar!

-(cheering)

-("Retreat" plays)

-Uh-oh!

-(man shouts)

-(crowd cheering)

-I'm not gonna forget that.

-(laughter)

I've never had

an entire audience just go,

"Forget you!"

(laughter, cheering)

"You have no idea!"

I was also wondering,

"What's coming from that way?"

-(laughter)

-When an entire--

Lewis Black:

He actually called me

and said,

"Do you wanna go

on a USO tour?

"A Christmas tour,

just like--

just like Bob Hope?"

(laughs)

Robin's energy was like

nothing I'd ever seen.

You'd touch down

in the Middle East,

then you're going bam,

bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.

It becomes

a complete blur.

-Get in over here.

-Woman:

All right.

Black:

He hits the ground running

and whosever's there,

getting ready to greet us,

he's already doing a show

and giving them a sense

of how important

they are to him.

Announcer:

Give it up

for Robin Williams!

(cheering)

I hope this shirt says

"I love New York"

and not

"I Lick Camel Balls."

(laughter)

I'm really hoping so.

Black:

And it's every day.

Wherever we are,

doesn't seem to be

any down time for him.

I wish you

from my heart

a Merry Christmas,

Happy Hanukkah,

Happy Kwanzaa

for my brothers.

You know who you are.

Black:

He finishes this,

and he flies immediately

to Vancouver

to start a movie.

And I thought, "Wow.

"Wow. That--

that's-- that's hard-core."

He gave you

a photo? Good.

Merry Christmas, fellas.

Thank you.

Black:

I mean, he was

like the light

that never knew how

to turn itself off.

Zak:

When you have

a parent

who's so giving,

so generous,

and wanting

to give his time

and effort in terms

of entertaining,

but also to causes

and to people...

that was challenging.

That was

really challenging...

sharing and watching

my father give

his time to others.

The selfish part of me

wanted me to keep

our relationship to myself

and, you know, have us

just spend time together.

Half of the year

we'd see him.

Some years

might not be half.

Some years

we'd see him more.

It-it-- it's just the nature

of the business

he was in.

So... yeah.

That's something that

we got used to over time.

Robin:

Sometimes, indirectly,

you're talking to people,

you'll just talk

about sh*t that--

you would be amazed.

But when in therapy,

when you're talking

to a shrink,

he said,

"Sometimes be careful

"about what

you talk about...

"because you may be

in front of a stage,

"in front

of so many people

"and start talking

about something

you're not ready

to deal with."

There's all these drugs--

Zoloft, Prozac.

I want to have one drug

encompassing it all.

Call it "Fukitol."

(laughter)

I don't feel anything.

I don't want

to do anything.

-Fukitol.

-(laughter)

The closest thing

to a coma you'll ever be.

Fukitol.

I'm sitting here

in my own dung.

Fukitol.

(wind blowing)

Man:

What were you

doing up there?

Robin:

This movie called

The Big White.

Just thinking,

"What am I

doing here?"

This is crazy

and feeling

kind of isolated.

And all of a sudden went,

"Well, there's one cure.

I could drink!"

Ready for a refill?

Does Mrs. Kennedy

have a black dress?

(laughs)

All righty.

Coming up.

Robin:

It went quick.

I started drinking

the tiny little bottles

of Jack Daniels

-the little ones

you get from the--

-Interviewer:
Oh, yeah, yeah.

-And I thought,

"This is fine."

-Yeah, it's a small bottle.

And a week later

I was hiding them,

a big bottle

of Jack Daniels,

and just, "F***."

It was, you know,

either fear...

sometimes just

the sheer wanting

to run away from it all,

sometimes to run into it all,

and just go, "F*** it."

Hey, I just went

through the cue cards,

and I'm

telling you,

you're gonna kill.

It's gonna work

like a charm.

Don't worry

about a thing.

Black:

When we were doing

Man of the Year,

he was drinking

around me.

At the bar each night,

usually just before close,

I'd have a couple

glasses of wine,

and then Robin

would come down...

and have a tequila and--

and an espresso.

And he said to me,

"I think I have a problem."

Robin:

I did three years

of just insane sh*t...

just getting worse

and worse and worse.

We have these things called

"blackouts" as alcoholics.

It's not really blackouts.

It's more like "sleepwalking

with activities."

-Kind of strange.

-(laughter)

I believe it's

your conscience

going into a witness

protection program.

It's your conscience going,

"You're about to f*** a hobbit.

"I gotta go. Good luck.

"I'm gonna leave the dick on,

then after an hour

"I'm opening up the a**hole,

"but that didn't

stop you Tuesday.

Good luck. Take care."

Zak:

The struggles that

my father dealt with

I think is really

a symptom of...

just other things

that underlie... the why.

But he would talk

about his--

his addiction... issues.

He'd be pretty

open about it.

Robin:

As an alcoholic, you will

violate your standards

quicker than you

could lower them.

You will do sh*t that even

the devil would go, "Dude."

(laughter)

And alcoholics,

we're like a**holes,

we can't wait to sh*t

on everybody--

family, friends.

We'll be like,

"F*** you! F*** you!

"F*** you!

F*** you!

"Go f*** yourself!

F*** you!

"F***! F...

I'm f***ed."

They tried to send

my ass to rehab

and I went,

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

And I went to rehab

in wine country,

just to keep

my options open.

Zak:

Being sober and embracing

his sobriety was great...

and he did lean on us

when he needed...

to talk through stuff...

but it was hard.

There's no crutch

in his circumstance.

You can't rely

upon, you know,

a bottle

to comfort you.

Interviewer:

Divorce done?

Robin:

Done and,

you know, dealt with,

I mean, I think

as much love

as we can do

with that situation.

Being around my kids is

really much more like,

"I love you guys.

I live separately,

but I'm okay."

It's difficult for them,

but they're all like--

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