Rock Star Page #3

Did you really think|that IKim was a girl?

-IKim was a guy?|-Yeah, IKim was a guy.

He's my lover, to the horror|of these sausage-jockeys.

-As if we give a toss.|-Just keep your dick away from me.

Stop it, man.

You don't turn up|for recording sessions.

You missed half the gigs,|and when you did show--

I am Steel Dragon!|Without me, you're nothing!

Give us a break.

You'll be playing for coppers|in the tube without me!

We'll see.

Yeah. We'll see.

-What's going on?|-I don't know.

My scarf.

-Take it.|-Yeah, I will.

Good.

If I leave now, I'm never coming back.|Never.

Heard you the first time.

What you looking at?

You think you can dress like me|and be a star?

-No, sir.|-You have no idea what it takes.

You think it's all sex,|drugs and rock 'n' roll?

You got the sex wrong.

I never touch drugs.|No one does a gig like I do half-cut.

Not even at your age.

And it's bed, 1 1 :30 every night|before a gig. That's what it takes.

Just do your own thing.

Get your own life.|It's like being bloody Elvis.

Except Elvis was the king.

And I'm just the queen.

Very funny.

Ha-bloody-ha.

Bastards. You bastards.

Sorry about that.

-Missed your cue.|-Yeah, sorry, IK--

-You do know this song?|-Yes, sir.

We'll pick it up just|coming out of the intro.

I'm sorry.

We wasting our time here?

Sorry. Could I start it one more time?

All right, go again.

Sorry about that.

I love you,

I love you,

Well, mate, do you want the gig, then?

Look in the lens, guys.|Go. Get in there more.

Give me attitude.|Two double-platinum records.

You're playing the Forum. You got|20 girls who want to be with you.

Give me rock star attitude.|Hold that. Here we go.

Hey, lzzy, let's try one|with attitude. No smile.

Sorry.

Better. Now you're looking cool.

Come on, right in my lens.|Nice shot. Attitude.

We combed this entire planet|looking for someone...

...heavy enough to pull this off|and we found a star.

When this guy sings, you'll forget|about Bobby Beers. I promise you.

Izzy! ls that your name? lzzy?

Yeah, the name's lzzy,|like lzzy's Revenge.

Holy sh*t.

Izzy? I'm not calling him lzzy.

Can you hit all the notes|Bobby can?

That's why I'm in the band.

Stand up and shout

How do you keep your voice|in such great shape?

My choir teacher gives me|really cool exercises--

He eats a lot of p*ssy, that's how.

Yeah, I eat a lot ofpussy,

-Classy.|-Like father, like son.

-That's my boy.|-Come on, you guys.

-How was l?|-So good. So comfortable.

-I messed up my accent.|-It was great.

-Nice way to handle that "p*ssy" Iine.|-I can't argue with him.

Izzy, don't worry.|I'll make an honest man out of you.

I eat a lot of p*ssy.

Loads of it.

I eat a lot of p*ssy.

Tons.

I got my voice eating p*ssy, man.|It's a vocal technique exercise.

I got it eating p*ssy.|Loads of it. All the time.

It's all I do. Breakfast, morning,|noon, night. I've got to have it.

It's all I do, is eat p*ssy.|I love it.

Either get in here and do it|or shut up.

Hold on. Oh, sh*t! I eat p*ssy!

Hi. I'm lzzy's mother.

-Have a good one.|-I'll see you up there.

-Did you see all the people?|-I know. Just breathe.

You'll be great.|Nobody knows these songs better.

-True.|-Be yourself, Chris.

-Don't get--|-Izzy.

You'll be great, babe.|I love you so much.

I love you too.

All right, matey.|Time to go to work.

Sorry, darling, back to the henhouse.

I'm gonna sit with his parents.

Whatever twirls your beanie.|Come on, mate.

-I gotta piss.|-What? You gotta piss?

-Go now.|-I can't.

Or you gotta use it. Use it.|You're awesome. Bye, babe.

-Are you okay?|-Yeah.

Well, you're in my house now, mate.|And I ain't lost a man yet.

-Let's do it.|-Here we go.

Let's do it, Mats.

This is your coronation, my dear.

There you go.

All right, boy.

You're okay.

You won't need it, but there's|a bucket in each wing, all right?

-Up you go.|-All right, Mats.

Break a leg!

Are you all right, lzzy?

-I'm all right.|-Fantastic! IKeep going!

Thank you.

-You okay?|-Couldn't be better.

There's a bit up there.|That's it.

How do I look?

Fantastic. It's brilliant, mate.|F***ing brilliant. Off you go.

I'm just a regular guy...

...who grew up with posters|of these guys on my walls!

And now I'm one of them!

That's right!

I'm standing here, living proof|that if you work hard enough...

...and you want it bad enough,|dreams do come true.

So follow your dreams, man.

Follow your dreams,|because we all die young.

F***ing scintillating, baby!

Quiet! Shut them up behind us.|Give us 10 minutes. In we go.

Lock it up! Thank you!

That was something really....

Amazing! You were demented out there.

I thought I was gonna|break my neck when I fell.

You brought the audience home.|You did f***ing beautiful.

Thanks.

It was so heavy hearing the music|played to perfection.

We heard it sang right.

-Beautiful.|-Right between the eyes.

It was incredible, man.|Thanks, IKirk.

The Dragons!

All right, let's go.

Go. Go.

Get the hell out of here.

-Oh, my pass.|-VIP. Sorry.

I'm Chris' girlfriend. Manager.

-Who?|-Izzy's girlfriend/manager.

-Yeah, right.|-She's okay. She's all right.

-Go on.|-I'm his mother.

How amazing was he? Brilliant!

Our boy came through tonight.|He was on fire.

-Where are you going?|-Oh, sorry. I've got....

-No. Go on back, darling.|-I'm lzzy's brother.

-I don't think so.|-Mom!

What did you think?

-Are you all right?|-I am so good.

-Oh, man.|-This is insane.

-Arrest her for indecent exposure.|-Out of my jurisdiction, bro.

-Mats, get us the tequilas, will you?|-Ladies, you're on.

Got an initiation for you.|You joined, done a beautiful job.

Now I'll buy you a drink, mate.|Hello, ladies. Thank you.

For lzzy!

-Hey! Hang on. No hands.|-No hands.

You're hanging with the hardcore now.

Two teeth, come on.

Go on, my son.

You're so bad.

Oh, my God.

-The laws of gravity no longer apply.|-I guess not.

You'll get used to it.

You build up a tolerance to it.

Right, okay. I'll get that one going.

-Some crazy stuff happens.|-Oh, my God, it's amazing.

It's all good fun.|Just makes for good stories, you know?

I'm beginning to have|a couple of my own.

You can have a good time as well.|It's allowed.

Anything you want.|You just have to ask.

-Don't forget.|-Oh, I won't.

Cheers.

I'm gonna go to the dance floor.

-Have you seen Emily?|-How you doing?

I'm good. I'm really good.|I'm great, actually.

Tell me something.

How's it feel to know|that everyone in here...

...wants to f*** you?

You're serious?

I can't stop touching you.|I can't keep my hands to myself.

You know, you've turned me|into a silly little groupie.

There she is.

We were just talking about how|stunningly beautiful you are, really.

Oh, God, you two.|Such a sexy couple.

If I were you,|I'd spend all my time in bed.

Come on.

-Sorry about that.|-Relax, lover.

You were terrific last night.

Are those my pants?

Yeah, they're a bit snug,|but that's how I like them.

-So you think....|-Let's not.

People, boat's leaving. All aboard.|Quick as you can, please.

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