Role Models Page #10

Synopsis: Danny and Wheeler, well into their 30s, lack something: Danny feels stuck; he's sour and has driven away his terrific girlfriend. Wheeler chases any skirt he sees for empty sex. When they get in a fight with a tow-truck driver, they choose community service over jail and are assigned to be big brothers - Danny to Augie, a geek who loves to LARP (Live Action Role Play), and Wheeler to Ronnie, a pint-size foul-mouthed kid. After a rocky start, things start to go well until both Danny and Wheeler make big mistakes. Can the two men figure out how to change enough to be role models to the boys?
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): David Wain
Production: Universal Pictures
  1 win & 4 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.9
Metacritic:
61
Rotten Tomatoes:
78%
R
Year:
2008
99 min
$67,300,000
Website
2,161 Views


Not bad.

Blufgan.

Kuzzik.

Fulfill your

destiny, Blufgan.

Yes.

Kill the king.

I will.

Kill the king.

I will, Kuzzik!

Go. Go.

Go. Go.

Take that, you

lily-livered coward!

Hey. Hey. Where the hell are you guys?

I cannot stall any longer.

I'm at Jefferson Park.

Look. I can't talk right now.

I'm in the middle of

battling a Cacedonian.

Beth, I gotta help Augie.

I gotta go.

F***ing Cacedonian ass.

What? Hello. What?

B*tch!

Retreat to the castle!

Long live Xanthia!

You lost an arm, honey!

Nice one, dude.

Hey, Esplen.

Thanks.

Okay. See you.

See you.

Die, coward!

Cacedonia

is to rule forever!

What a scene.

Okay. We lost a man,

but we can still do this.

It's not the manpower.

It's the power of the man.

Sh*t, this kid really

jacks you up.

I want you to go left

through these trees.

His lackeys

are pretty strong,

but Davith of Glencracken

is the one you want.

He's the one built

like a brick shithouse.

Leave it to us, Augie.

Good luck, mi amigos!

Thanks for doing this. I'm doing

it for the kids, not for you.

Come on.

Feel the steel

of my hammer!

Hey, hey! Okay! Okay!

I'm dead! I'm dead!

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

It's fun though, right?

It's a blast.

It's contagious. I know.

Totally.

Come back next year.

I will. Thanks. Okay.

We need people.

Give me your e-mail.

Dude, you saved my life.

I did what any good

coworker would do.

I honestly can't say

I would do the same for you.

You would, Danny,

because you're my friend.

I want to hear you say it.

Come on.

Say it.

I'm your friend.

Will you hold me?

No.

Kiss on the cheek?

No.

Hug me. I don't want to

do any of that.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Aren't you dead yet?

Very close, Starchild.

The end is near.

Sleep, friend.

They can't hurt you now.

Right in the ball

sack. F***.

All right. I'm

gonna get a beer.

Hold your ground!

Hold your ground!

Enclose, stab.

As you command.

Yes, my lord.

North.

Davith is gone.

Nice work.

Where's Spaceman?

I don't think there's many

warriors left, you know.

If I could just get

him one-on-one,

I swear I could take him.

I could take him down.

Hold up, dude.

Methinks I have a plan.

Hey, King! King!

It's that guy from

The Burger Hole.

Oh, he seems

to be wounded.

Shall I take him out, sire?

Nay. This one is mine.

Well! Well, well.

Looks like thou art fell for

the oldest trick in the scroll.

Now you will kneel

before the king.

Oh, drag. I really wanted to

win that pointy little hat.

It's a crown!

Cacedonia!

You!

Sh*t.

Argotron. Face me,

if ye be brave enough.

Didn't I teach you

a lesson the last time?

I think you're afraid

I'm gonna kill you again.

Go get them, Augie!

You shut up, whore!

My mom is not a whore!

Yes, she is!

He could actually win.

It's anyone's game.

Go, Blufgan!

Yo, Augie! F***

his sh*t up, man!

Screw it!

Bad decision.

No, it's a good decision.

Oh, sh*t!

It's okay.

I don't need it.

Hey!

Please. No.

Yeah!

Yeah!

That's what

I'm talking about!

Yes!

The gods have

played a coup.

Blufgan is the last man

standing of them all!

All hail King Blufgan!

Hail, Blufgan!

Yeah!

Yeah!

What? Esplen is still alive?

Esplen!

I was hiding in the

bushes the whole time.

That's a pretty

smart strategy.

Thanks.

Sorry I killed you.

It's okay.

All hail Queen Esplen

of Navalore!

Hail, Esplen!

Game end!

One slice to the king's chest and

down like a sack of elderberries!

One slice to the king's chest and

down like a sack of elderberries!

You did good, Augie.

I mean, a girl did beat you,

but it's definitely not as

gay as I thought it would be.

You were incredible.

Second place!

That's like a silver medal. Kind of

makes you hungry for the gold, huh?

No, but we... Serious, we

are very, very proud of you.

Thanks for trying to

be nice, Mom. Jim.

Hail, Esplen!

Congratulations.

I can't believe I won.

When I killed you,

I was, like, "No way. "

Yeah, well, the crown looks

very good on you, very regal.

Thanks.

I liked your whiskers.

Thanks.

Was that eyeliner?

Yeah, I just drew them on.

It looked good.

Thanks.

I have two cats, so...

Oh. Okay. Cool.

So, Augie,

now that I'm queen,

I was wondering if maybe

you'd wanna be my king?

Yeah. I'd love that.

Should...

Should I kiss you now?

F***, yeah.

Do you know the

song Beth? By Kiss?

You did a really good

thing tonight, Wheeler.

Yeah. They'll probably

double our sentence

for not showing up to the

hearing this afternoon.

Well, listen. I got a long-standing

relationship with this judge,

and I don't want to get too graphic,

but I used to suck his dick for drugs.

Oh.

He got me my junk.

Long story short, you

guys are not going to jail.

Are you BSing me? 'Cause I

know you're the best BSer.

No, I'm being straight

with you, man.

Sh*t. Thank you.

Whoa! Okay.

Thank you so much.

All right.

Hey, what's going on here?

So speaking of whatever you

guys were just talking about,

I happen to know a really nice

Italian restaurant in Manhattan Beach,

and I would love to take you

if you're interested.

Sure, Martin.

I just hope we're talking

pasta and not p*ssy.

Well, I was talking about

two adults having some pasta,

and, yes, I was kinda hoping

that it would lead to some p*ssy.

Call it out there.

I mean, what are we after here? Okay.

Quiet down! Quiet down!

Gather round, ye nobles!

Beth, I hear you calling

But I can't come

home right now

'Cause me and the

boys are slaying

And we just can't

find the sound

None of these lyrics

Have anything to do

with what I want to say

But it's got a pretty melody

And I get to sing your name

That seems pretty cool

Beth, you are so awesome

And I miss you so much

Your beautiful smile

And your positive attitude

and your whispering eye

We don't have to get married

But I'm still in love with you

We can just be together

Like Tim Robbins

and Susan Sarandon

Good actors.

Tim and Sue

Beth, I am so

lonely without you

And I hope we'll be all right

You and me should make up

Tonight

And the kiss!

Nice.

Hey, what does this

look like to you?

Hey.

How you doing?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes, sir.

Yeah.

Put it back in.

Ouch. Ouch.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

There you go.

Ow!

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Paul Rudd

Paul Stephen Rudd (born April 6, 1969) is an American actor, comedian, writer, and producer. He studied theatre at the University of Kansas and the British American Drama Academy, before making his acting debut in 1992 with NBC's drama series Sisters. He is known for his starring roles in the films Clueless (1995), Romeo + Juliet (1996), Wet Hot American Summer (2001), Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004), The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005), Knocked Up (2007), Role Models (2008), I Love You, Man (2009), This Is 40 (2012), Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013) and The Fundamentals of Caring (2016). In the Marvel Cinematic Universe, he played the superhero Ant-Man in Ant-Man (2015), Captain America: Civil War (2016), Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018) and will return in Avengers 4 (2019). In addition to his film career, Rudd has appeared in numerous television shows, including the NBC sitcom Friends as Mike Hannigan, along with guest roles on Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! and Parks and Recreation (as businessman Bobby Newport), and hosting Saturday Night Live. Rudd received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on July 1, 2015. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Role Models" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/role_models_17110>.

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