Romance on the High Seas Page #4

With your figure and my name,

the men will be flocking after you.

Say, that's happened to me plenty

under my own name.

Well, just remember,

while your lips are being kissed...

...it's my reputation that's suffering.

-Yeah, l'll make a note of that.

-Good.

Oh, dear, l'm liable

to be trapped on the boat.

-Well, goodbye, Georgia.

-Goodbye.

l hope you make me very proud of me.

l'll try.

Oh, do me a favor,

have a wonderful time...

...but please stay in your cabin as much

as possible and as alone as possible.

l'll make a note of that too

and underline it.

Bye.

All ashore that's going ashore.

What's the matter with you?

-What's the matter with you?

-l think l forget.

-Forget what?

-l for--

Nothing at all.

l think l get seasick.

-The ship isn't even moving.

-Why didn't you tell me that?

Late for work, aren't you?

Could you tell me what table

Mrs. Elvira Kent has reserved?

Table 64.

ls that where you're stationed?

-What do you mean?

-Aren't you a new waiter?

Me? Certainly not. l'm a passenger.

l've got one of the most

luxurious cabins on the boat.

-l beg your pardon.

-You should.

lf l were not a headwaiter,

l'd be flustered.

-What gave you the idea l work here?

-lt was a mistake.

You see, onboard,

no one dresses the first night out.

Well, what's good enough for you

is good enough for me.

Oh, l'm so sorry.

-My dear young lady.

-Yes?

l advise you to go to your cabin

and get out of your clothes.

-Pardon?

-Don't go in there.

-You'll be frightfully embarrassed.

-Embarrassed? Why?

-Nobody dresses the first night out.

-They don't?

Even if it's chilly?

This l gotta see.

-You mean nobody dresses up.

-Of course. Didn't you know that?

Then what are you doing

in that monkey suit?

Confidentially, this is my first trip too.

-Really?

-Yes.

My dear man, l've been on more world

cruises than you could shake a stick at.

lt's just that compared to my other gowns,

l don't consider this very formal.

ls that so?

Well, if you don't consider that formal,

l'd like to see the rest of your wardrobe.

-Mrs. Elvira Kent.

-ln particular, l have one little item...

-...that's backless, strapless...

-Mrs. Kent.

-...almost frontless.

-Mrs. Kent.

Mrs. Elvira Kent.

Oh, my goodness.

Mrs. Elvira Kent, that's me.

Hey, boy.

-Are you Mrs. Kent?

-Natch. l mean, naturally.

-Radiogram.

-Oh, thank you.

-Just a moment.

-May l?

No, no, l'll take care of it.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

-Thank you.

-That's all right.

l'm told l overtip.

Really?

-Would you excuse me, please?

-Yes, certainly.

''Don't dress first night out.''

Now she tells me.

Mrs. Kent, now that l know your name,

perhaps it's fair you should know mine.

-lmmaterial.

-lt's Peter Virgil.

l was wondering if you're as hungry

as Mr. Virgil.

l could eat a cow.

Well, then our dress notwithstanding,

will you have dinner with me?

lf l'm overdressed,

l might as well overeat.

Unless you've some other

dinner engagement?

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, now, surely you must have

some friends onboard.

l don't mean male friends.

l mean, girlfriends

often go on cruises together.

l don't know a soul on this tub.

Except Mr. Peter Virgil.

Well then, chin up, eyes straight ahead,

and what care we if the peasants stare.

Carry on.

Oh, waiter.

Come here. Table for two, please.

l'm sorry,

the dining room's just been closed.

What do you mean closed?

First you ritz me, then you try to starve

two perfectly good paying customers.

The man is only doing his duty.

-After all, it's our fault that we dawdled.

-Did we dawdle?

Just the same, thanks ever so.

Why don't you try the cocktail lounge?

The pretzels are delicious.

That's an excellent suggestion.

l'm famished.

-More pretzels, please.

-More pretzels. Yes, sir.

Yes, thank you.

Tell me, Mr. Virgil,

what business are you in?

l stick my nose

into other people's business.

-You know how it is when a man's retired.

-Retired? Retired from what?

l made my fortune

in the entertainment business.

Oh, really?

l invented a new system

for clearing audiences out of theaters.

-You're cute. You know something?

-Thank you. What?

-l've always had an ambition to be a singer.

-ls that so?

Most singers have secret ambitions

to be society dames.

l don't see why you're wasting your time

with a married woman...

-...when there's many attractive single girls.

-Oh, yes, yes.

The single girls look for husbands, while

married women run from their husbands.

Frankly, l'd rather be with those that are

running than with those that are looking.

Don't you want to be married?

Well, most husbands l know

speak very poorly of marriage.

-What of your marriage?

-Would you believe it?

-l haven't felt married.

-Yours must be a very unusual marriage.

lt certainly is.

l think we had quite enough dinner,

thank you.

What would you like to do now?

l wish l could.

lsn't that lovely?

-Hello.

-Good evening.

-Oh, and you do sing?

-A little.

-You know this song?

-Yes.

-Could you raise it a little, please?

-Sure. B flat, fellas.

It's you or no one for me

I'm sure of this

Each time we kiss

The lady's in love

Now and forever

And when forever's done

You'll find that you are still the one

-Please

-The lady said please

Don't say no to my plea

'Cause if you do

Then I'm all through

There's this about you

My world's an empty world without you

It's you or no one

She don't want no one

It's you or no one for me

Baby, you're the one for me

-l shouldn't have done that.

-l won't report you to the Social Register.

l'm bored with it all, strictly entre nous.

l wish l didn't have to keep up appearances.

Oh, l'm tired of pretending too.

Let's both let our hair down.

Let's follow our impulses wherever

they lead and make this a real vacation.

l think you've got something there.

-May l?

-Of course.

Anything above the third rib

l consider formal.

-Mrs. Kent?

-Yes?

-l mean, Elvira.

-Yes?

May l see you to your cabin?

-Well--

-For you, Mrs. Kent.

Thank you.

Would you tip him, please?

-Yes.

-l overtip.

Oh, yes, of course. That's right.

Well?

No, thank you, Mr. Virgil.

l'll find my way alone.

So nice meeting you. Good night.

-Really?

-Yes.

The tourist trade, the tourist trade

Aye, it's all for the tourist trade

We never sunbathe

Tell you why

It's atmosphere for the passerby

To find us asleep in the shade

It's so very necessary

Aye, the tourist trade

The tourist trade, the tourist trade

Aye, it's all for the tourist trade

Our souvenirs are all foreign bought

They come from some place

Called Terre Haute

We can't sell a thing that we've made

Please, no arguin'

It's a bargain

Aye, the tourist trade

Habana is Havana

They murder the language

But we love 'em

We want more of 'em

The Yankee dollar ain't hay

The tourist trade, the tourist trade

Aye, it's all for the tourist trade

If you're romantic

The Cuban stars

Are made to order for soft guitars

You must fall in love when they're played

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