Ronal Barbaren Page #5

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Sword of Crane?

There's nothing you can do. It's

on the altar below. Get away from here.

I will not be satisfied,

until they scream like the pigs they are!

Mighty Zaal we give to you the

blood from the Sons of Crane.

Let your darkness bless us.

Soon I will be mightier than a god -

- and you shall be my queen

in the afterlife.

Hey! What are you doing here?

- Uh...

- Kill him.

No, wait. I am master Alibert.

The bard!

I'm here to play at

the feast... the occult ritual.

Here's a song you might know.

your muscles

they make me crazy

on the dance floor

you can see it

your skull charm

it makes me hot

little cuddles

sweet treasure

- Shut up, that's crap.

- Oh!

- Later.

- Come back, you little sh*t!

Let the Chosen One step forward!

- Hey, Ronal.

- The Sword of Crane.

- I'll get you free.

- We must liberate the others.

- I'm hurrying as fast as I can.

- What the hell?

Drop it, pip-squeak.

You don't have a chance.

Come on. Give me your best shot.

Very nice. It was really...

- What the hell?

- Sorry.

What?

I've totally been

looking forward to this!

Oh yeah!

- Kill them.

- But...

- That's an order!

- Sandra!

You belong to me, shield maiden!

Don't forget.

Yes, my Lord.

- Ronal.

- You don't have to do this.

Volcazar has defeated me in a duel.

It is my destiny.

Sandra, it's me.

This is completely ridiculous.

Is this really your destiny -

- to kill the only one,

who loves you, to death, -

- just because some maniac

has beaten you in a fight?

Watch out!

Ronal!

Sandra.

Let me go!

Lord, drink it up,

before it's too late.

Clever Lord. Drink it all up.

Oh, sh*t.

Die!

No!

The darkness must be awakened in Metalonia.

The sound of screams

must rise to the sky.

All must bow to me -

or die!

F***!

The Epic of Crane! "Crane drew his proud sword

and drove with all his force -

- the blade deep in Zaal

and Zaal's skull burst. "

You have to strike him in the forehead.

It is his weak point, man!

That's impossible!

There's nothing you can do here.

Save yourself!

- What?

- This is no place for you.

Run!

No. I'm done

running away.

Now you better behave yourself.

Yes, do it! Stab him in the forehead!

- In the forehead.

- What do you think I'm trying to do?

I'll crush you like a bug!

He's f***ing dead.

Oh, damn!

May my aim be sharp as a hawk's

and as perfect as the great breast.

Stand still!

No!

Now I have you!

Eat lute, you b*tch!

No, no. No!

- Sandra!

- My queen! Kill these fleas.

What are you doing? Your honour commands

you to serve me!

No! No more!

Then die!

Sandra!

Okay, guys, let's show them

how barbarians really fight!

Gorak!

- Come on, guys!

- Muscles!

I am invincible!

- What?

- This one's for Uncle Gondar!

Uh?

Holy sh*t.

My g-string is so high up my ass.

Ronal?

Ronal!

Oh no.

Here lies Ronal.

The greatest barbarian of us all.

- What happened?

- Damn, he lives, man!

I sense great love.

It's so beautiful.

I haven't challenged you

to a duel, right?

You...

You have already

conquered my heart, Ronal.

Now it becomes cheesy.

It's time for ale and lager,

ale and lager.

Ale and lager, ale and lager.

You want to see something sick?

Wow!

Cool.

- Oh, that's good.

- I sense much tension in your muscles.

I've been tied up on

across all week.

Just shut up, man.

I want to say something important.

To Ronal,

the thirstiest barbarian in the world.

Cheers!

- Why the hell aren't you drinking?

- F***ing barbarians, man.

Ronal the Barbarian

oh, he was a weak boy

lacked a pair of balls

he wasn't pierced at all

oh, he was a geek boy

with a chest so small

big balls

hairy balls

hard balls

hot babes

hairy babes

yummy babes

yummy balls

and oily muscles too

Ronal the Barbarian

he rules

big balls

hairy balls

hard balls

hot babes

hairy babes

yummy babes

yummy balls

and oily muscles too

we'll keep on fighting

muscles are shining

we are the champions

thunder and lightning

excess of lightning

fighting with balls

in thongs

we are together

all dressed in leather

all bits are wet

and we're perfectly tan

we have pierced our nipples

Ronal the Barbarian

he rules

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