Room Service Page #6

I've never done anything like that before.

But I'll forgive you

because you were so nice to Sasha.

Well, I guess that'll hold

that fake doctor a while.

Yes? Speaking.

Oh, come right up, Mr Jenkins.

Binelli, he's here. The backer, he's here.

Santa Claus. Neckties. Faker.

Hey, Faker, where are you?

He's walked out on us. How do you like

that? That's two sick men running around.

You know, Binelli,

we may start an epidemic in this town.

You get downstairs

and see if you can find him.

If Wagner catches sight of him, we're sunk.

Oh, Mr Jenkins! How are you?

Glad to see you. Come right in.

- I'm fine. Well, I see we're all alone today.

- Yes, I thought...

Yes, I thought

it would be much better that way.

- Yes, much better.

- I have the contract right here.

50 shares of Hail and Farewell

made out in the name of Simon Jenkins.

- Just a few paragraphs.

- "Simon Jenkins... 50 shares... "

- Transferable, of course.

- Of course.

I see. That's fine.

Fine.

Well, you're going to see the signature

on this cheque anyway,

so you might as well know

who your backer is.

- Did you ever hear of...

- Zachary Fiske?

Zachary Fiske himself,

that's the man I represent.

Now you realise why

I don't want any publicity.

Mr Jenkins, you don't have to go any further.

Now, this cheque's made out to me,

naturally,

but, of course, I'll just

endorse it over to you.

Culver City, California?

That means about five days

before I'll get the money.

- I thought I could get started today.

- Young energy.

Well, I could have our bank wire a

certification to your bank, if that'll help.

If it isn't too much trouble.

Why, it's no trouble at all.

I'll make a note of it.

Now, Mr Jenkins, if you be good enough

to sign the contract...

Oh, Mr Miller, I must remind you once again,

the name of Zachary Fiske

must remain in the background at any cost.

Mr Jenkins, you have my word.

You know what that's worth.

Where's Davis?

Will you go away?

This is the deal I told you about.

- Now, you leave us alone for five minutes...

- You can't put me off any longer.

Now even your phoney sick man is gone.

That gives me legal right

to demand this room immediately.

- Who is this man?

- Never mind who I am. Who are you?

Will you go away?

You can't take those pictures now.

- Pictures?

- Mr Wagner's my press agent.

- He has an idea...

- I have only one idea!

- A publicity man? Mr Miller.

- It concerns the cast.

- I'm here for money!

- I have the cheque.

- What cheque? Whose cheque?

- Whose cheque?

Mr Jenkins happens to represent

one of our greatest...

- Mr Miller.

- I don't give a hoot who he represents!

For Pete's sake, Wagner, will you

get out of here before I fire you?

Fire me?

- Who do you think you're talking to?

- I don't like this.

Sorry, wrong room.

- Isn't that your assistant?

- Mr Gribble, take Wagner out of here.

- Gribble, take Miller out of here.

- Shut up!

Joe, take Wagner away. I've

practically got the cheque in my pocket.

- Mr Wagner, please.

- I'm not leaving this room till Miller's out.

- Are you trying to blackmail me?

- Mr Jenkins.

See what you've done? Miller's my

brother-in-law. I'll vouch for him.

Brother-in-law?

Well, that explains everything.

Gribble, you've committed fraud.

- I'm going to call the police.

- Police?

- You mustn't do that.

- Mr Jenkins, please.

Let me go. I'm not interested in shysters.

- I'm going for a real producer.

Look, Mr Jenkins, please.

- I have a contract.

- Yes.

Good heavens! How do you get out of here?

- Dr Glass!

- They've kidnapped him.

First place, we didn't do it.

Second place, we don't know who he is.

He may be left over from the last convention.

How do you like it?

It's a scene from our second act.

- I don't like it.

- Lf you don't like it,

we'll put it in another scene.

You can have any scene you want.

Well, what are you going to do now?

Don't ask me.

You're supposed to be the doctor.

Don't worry. They won't get away with this.

I'll put them all behind bars,

including Gribble.

- Shall I get you a drink?

- Are you all right?

I haven't been all right

since you came to this hotel.

You see what your brother-in-law did?

- His mind's wandering.

- My mind's not wandering!

I don't blame Miller for tying me up.

He had a perfectly good reason.

He was transacting a legitimate deal.

I hold you responsible for what

he did to me. You drove him to it.

Say, you're not Miller's

brother-in-law, too?

All I know is that Zachary Fiske

is backing his play,

and that's a good enough recommendation

for anybody.

- Zachary Fiske?

- I heard every word in the bathroom.

That man you insulted

was an agent for Mr Fiske.

He has a cheque for Miller,

signed by Fiske himself.

- Fiske? Why didn't Miller tell me?

- Because he's afraid of publicity.

- Because he's afraid of you.

- Yes, everybody's afraid of you.

You steamed in this hotel like a tugboat.

You took charge

without faith in anybody's judgement.

Nobody can talk to you.

"Jumping butterballs!"

I'm through with this hotel, Mr Wagner.

I'll thank you

to remove my shingle from the elevator.

Please, gentlemen, I'm exhausted.

- But you must listen.

- It couldn't be helped.

I'm not accustomed to this sort of thing.

Will you please let me out of here?

Excuse me, Mr Jenkins. I want to apologise.

- There's another Miller in the hotel.

- That's none of my business.

He had the bills confused.

All these gentlemen

have plenty of credit here.

- Mr Miller can have anything he likes.

- All right, all right.

I had no idea Zachary Fiske

had anything to do with this.

Zachary Fiske? How did you...

Where did he...

Dr Glass heard everything in the bathroom.

- Dr Glass? Who told him?

- No, it's perfectly all right.

- We'll keep it quiet.

- Now, if you'll just endorse the cheque,

- Mr Jenkins...

- I don't feel well.

It'll only take a minute.

All you have to do is sign your name.

- I have a weak heart.

- Then you better hurry. Here's the pen.

- I'll vouch for these gentlemen.

- All right, all right.

Mr Jenkins, it would be our pleasure

to have you as a guest.

- Entirely without charge, of course.

- Yes, yes.

Thanks just the same.

I'm going directly to my doctor.

Good day, gentlemen.

Will you please show me

the right way out of here?

This way, Mr Jenkins. Right over here.

- Goodbye, Mr Jenkins.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

- Bon voyage.

Well, Miller, I'll take that cheque.

- Oh, no, you don't.

- I'll take it. I'm the treasurer.

I'll make a deposit.

And as soon as the cheque clears,

which will be in about five days...

I'd feel a whole lot happier

if you'd let me deposit it in our bank.

- What am I gonna do for money?

- Well, you can draw against the cheque.

We'll bank for you. When the cheque

clears, we'll send over the balance.

- That's only fair, Gordon.

- No, I can't take any chances.

This is a shaky hotel. How do I know

you won't go into bankruptcy?

I'll make out a paper guaranteeing

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