Rough Night Page #2

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Will do.

Hey, Alice, be careful swimming

in all that dick.

What are you? Okay, bye.

I'm so happy to see you.

Oh, this weekend's gonna be so much fun.

Can't wait to see my girls!

When the pepper spray

hits your face, and it will,

keep your mouth closed tight.

- We are peaceful protestors.

- Yes!

Yet we fight, you know? Yet we are strong!

- Yeah! Yeah!

- This is war!

Okay, I got to head to a bachelorette.

But if anybody from the group disappears

from the protest,

you text my cell phone immediately.

You have a cell phone?

- Uh, no.

- You're one of them!

I'll pick you up after school

on Monday, okay, sweetie?

Mommy, do you have to go to Miami?

Yes, I really do.

But I'm gonna miss you so much.

Technically, my time

started 20 minutes ago,

so, going to note this

for the custody hearing.

Mmm. I love you. Mwah! Mwah!

Bye.

Come on, shake your body,

baby, do the conga

I know you can't control

yourself any longer...

Well, well, well.

Damn.

Damn.

How do you do it?

How do you look

this flawless getting off a plane?

It's honestly rude.

What, are you flirting with me?

I would not flirt with a happily

married woman who broke my heart.

Oh, my God, you broke up with me,

don't even start with that.

Excuse me,

now you are flirting with me, okay?

It's good to see you.

It's good to see you, too.

Girl, I have had a day.

First was full, I had to ride business.

It was disgusting.

- Gross.

- You're serious. Okay. Cool.

Oh, my God, did you hear

Alice is making us go to a foam party?

Ugh! I know.

She has a scary amount of time

on her hands.

Even though she's a full-time teacher,

I'm still like, "Get a job."

Do you have a job?

Activism is a full-time job, but...

- Also no.

- Mmm-hmm.

Look at them, the magic is still there.

- Hello!

- Hello!

- Hi!

- Hi! Yes! Yes!

- Oh, my God!

- It is all happening!

Mmm! God, you smell so good.

- I have, like, half a pound of weed in my bra.

- Ah.

- Hey, Alice, how's your mom?

- Well, Alzheimer's is tough, but she's good.

Good.

The Wallace 5th Floor Girls

are back together again!

God, when was the last time

we were all together?

I think it was two summers ago

when we came to visit you

in your tree, right?

No, no, no, 'cause Jess

couldn't make it, it was, uh,

New Year's Eve, when Blair was in labor.

- Oh, my God. Crazy.

- God, that was three years ago, then.

Yeah. Well, we only have 55 hours,

so let's stop wasting

our motherfucking time

and let's get the party started.

- Yes!

- Alice, you rock!

The party starts now.

Oh, my God. That was a bad idea.

- Yeah, we're in an airport.

- That was bad.

- That sounded like a gunshot.

- Yeah.

- Let's go.

- Yep.

Sorry. Our bad.

Sorry, everyone,

bachelorette weekend.

I was never here! Never! Move!

Come on, shake your body,

baby, do the conga

I know you can't control

yourself any longer

- Ooh.

- Wow.

- Nice Miami house, mami.

- Very nice.

- Oh, gracias.

- Um...

We are supposed to pick up

the keys from the neighbors.

Did you bring a bathing suit?

- Hello?

- The beach is nice.

Hi.

Sorry, somebody left some keys for...

- Oh, my goodness.

- Oh, sorry, we'll come back.

- So sorry.

- Oh, hi, girls.

No, no, I'm sorry.

Let me put something on.

Oh.

- Come on in.

- Very funny.

- Is it really?

- I love it.

- Hello.

- Hi.

- Thank you. Oh.

- Hi. Oh.

Okay.

What brings you to Miami?

Business? Pleasure?

The business of pleasure?

Oh, bachelorette weekend.

- Jess is getting married.

- Ah.

- Congratulations!

- Thank you.

This marriage, will it be open?

You know, we haven't discussed it.

But, probably closed. Yeah.

Tightly, tightly closed.

Lea, does she not remind you

of our French girl from Turks and Caicos?

- Oh.

- She does.

Thank you. Thanks.

Well, we're gonna try to keep it down.

- Mmm-hmm.

- Oh, well, we'll try not to.

Oh.

Ah! Yes!

- They're serious.

- Go. Go, go, downstairs.

She is delicious.

- I want that.

- Mmm.

Ooh, yes.

Oh, Real World, baby! Miami!

Ew. This house represents

everything I hate.

I'm gonna go take a protest dump.

I call the room next to Jess! Ah.

Oh, I think that room has bunk beds,

so you're gonna have to share with Pippa.

Uh, who that?

Pippa, my Australian friend

from semester abroad.

She's been CC'd on, like,

every single email.

Oh, right.

Well, if my snoring bothers her,

she can take the couch.

Or she can just start on the couch

and we'll go from there.

We'll figure it out.

She'll start on the couch.

- Blair.

- What?

Can you be careful with the red wine

on the white carpet, please?

My biggest and only donor

generously lent us this house

for the weekend.

- So, please be careful.

- Okay.

I'm telling you, she's got bigger problems

than a wine stain

if she wants to sell this place

for 3.4 in this market.

- How do you know that?

- Zillow.

- I Zillow everybody.

- Really?

Like, do you know

how much my house is worth?

- Mmm-hmm.

- Okay, atencin.

Bachelorette kit time.

Let me get your attention.

We got it all.

Bride-to-be bathrobe for our lovely Jess,

penis straws, penis sunglasses,

penis sprinkles, penis gum,

penis hats, penis pasta.

And yes, I did get a little

drunk and ate some of that dry.

- Don't judge.

- No judgment.

Also, I wrote you a card.

But don't read it now, read it later.

- Thanks, Alice.

- Yeah.

Oh, sh*t. Frankie?

- Frankie?

- Frankie.

Oh, my God!

- What?

- Oh!

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, yes, mami.

Is that a sex swing?

Ooh, your donor is a freak, Jess.

Please. She rents this house out.

I'm sure somebody else

left it here accidentally.

And installed a load-bearing beam

to support it accidentally.

- Yeah.

- Oh, my God, Jess.

I want to audition some

dresses for tonight.

I brought 14. Come on!

Yeah, I wanna burn

Break, crash, explode

Every time you look at me,

you look at me...

Jess, if you are working,

- I'm gonna smack you in the face right now.

- I'm not. I'm not.

- One second.

- I'm gonna smack your face.

- Wait, wait, let me send it. Send, send, send.

- Put it down.

All right, come on, let's take a picture.

- Say, um, "Miami forever."

- Uh, forever.

- You want us in the picture or not?

- Do you guys want us in the photo...

- We're here, too.

- Oh, my gosh,

- we both look killer in that.

- Cool.

I'm so bummed I can't tag you

in this, on Facebook.

Why did you delete your account?

I had to. You were, you were tagging me

on things that could

literally ruin my career.

Yeah.

It's Pip! She's here!

- What? Who's that?

- Hi!

- Pip!

- Oh.

Sorry. Whoops.

- I'm sorry. Whoops.

- Hey.

Hello, hello, hello.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

You're a goddess.

You're literally a goddess.

- Guys...

- Hi.

This is Pippa.

- Hello.

- The famous...

Frankie, Blair, Alice.

Hey, what's up?

My God, you guys are meeting

for the first time, this is so exciting.

- I know.

- Nice to meet you.

This is so weird, you guys,

because it's sort of like

you're all Jess's best friends,

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