Ruggles of Red Gap Page #7

Like Lincoln said that day at Gettysburg.

He hit the nail right on the nose

when he said...

Well, what did he say?

That's funny. I was gonna

ask you the same thing.

He, er... What did he say?

- I don't know. Do you?

- I don't know.

Er...he...he said...

- Hey, Sam!

- Yeah?

What did Lincoln say

that day at Gettysburg?

I don't know but I'll find out.

What did Lincoln say at Gettysburg?

I don't know.

Harry, what did Lincoln say

at Gettysburg?

I don't know, boss.

Hey, Curly,

what did Lincoln say at Gettysburg?

I don't recollect. Ask Hank.

He reads the newspapers.

- What did he say, Hank?

- I don't know.

- Ask the boys, will you?

- Sure.

- Try and find out for me, will you, Harry?

- Sure.

- Hey.

- Huh?

What did Lincoln say at Gettysburg?

I don't know. I wasn't there.

What did Lincoln say at Gettysburg?

I don't know. What did he say?

I was asking you.

You wasn't there!

- I couldn't find out.

- That dumb bunch don't know.

There's none of them there that knows.

What a fine bunch of Americans!

That's funny.

Four score

and seven years ago

our fathers brought forth,

on this continent, a new nation,

conceived in liberty and dedicated to the

proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged

in a great civil war...

Why, that's it.

Bill, don't tell me you know it.

- How does it go, Bill?

- Er...

"Four score and seven years ago

"our fathers brought forth,

on this continent, a new nation,

"conceived in liberty,

"and dedicated to the proposition

that all men are created equal.

"Now we are engaged in a great civil war,

"testing whether that nation, or any nation

so conceived, and so dedicated,

"can long endure.

"We are now on a great battlefield

of that war.

"We have come to dedicate

a portion of that field,

"as a final resting place

"for those who here gave their lives,

that that nation might live.

"It is altogether fitting and proper

that we should do this.

"But, in a larger sense, we cannot

dedicate, we cannot consecrate,

"we cannot hallow, this ground.

"The brave men, living and dead,

who struggled here,

"have consecrated it far beyond

our poor power to add or detract.

"The world will little note,

nor long remember what we say here,

"but it can never forget

what they did here.

"It is for us the living, rather, to be

dedicated here to the unfinished work

"which they who fought here

have thus far so nobly advanced.

"It is rather for us to be here dedicated

to the great task remaining before us,

"that from these honoured dead we take

increased devotion to that cause

"for which they gave

the last full measure of devotion,

"that we here highly resolve that

these dead shall not have died in vain...

"...that this nation, under God,

shall have a new birth of freedom,

"and that government of the people,

by the people, and for the people,

"shall not perish from the earth."

I'll buy a drink.

Here's to Colonel Ruggles!

Here, here!

Well, I'll tell you, Bill,

we already got a president,

but any time you want to run for mayor

or sheriff or something like that,

you just let me know.

I'm not ambitious for public office, sir.

Bill, what are you figuring on doing

besides standing on your own two feet?

I keep telling him

he should open a restaurant.

- Great!

- Say, that ain't a bad idea.

We ain't never had a decent hash house

here in Red Gap.

And I'll stake you

to the best location in town for it.

- I beg your pardon, madam?

- It won't cost you a nickel.

I own the building.

There was a Chinaman tried to run

a chop suey joint there and they shot him.

He couldn't cook ham and eggs. He was

always doin' something Chinese to 'em.

I could help you in the kitchen. I'll even

let you help me with my meat sauce.

How...how much cash

you figure it would take, Bill?

If I might say so, you're all a bit of OK.

Well, you...you're more than that.

Doggone it! Let's have a drink

to the new beanery.

Well...well, wait a minute, wait a minute.

What...what'll we call it?

- Er...

- Yes.

- Er...

- Um...

- Er...

- Er...

How about calling it The Busy Bee?

No, no.

- The Mustang Grotto.

- No, no.

I think it should be something nice

like Ye Olde English Tavern.

No, no.

Look, look, look. I got it, I got it.

The Golden Horse Chop House.

No.

Why? Why? Can't you just see a golden

horse squattin' up there on the roof?

No, no, no!

Er...might I suggest

The Anglo-American Grill?

- Um...

- Not bad, huh?

- I like it.

- What do you think, Egbert?

Well, it's all right but I still think it

ought to be called a horse's something.

No, no, no.

- Hello, Belknap.

- Effie.

Here's a letter from Lord Burnstead.

It just arrived this noon.

Oh, dear George.

Dear, dear George. Yes.

Oh! He's coming here.

He's coming here to visit us!

- He's coming here?

- Yes. Yes, yes.

He's going to take Ruggles

back with him.

Oh.

The Earl of Burnstead our house guest.

My supreme triumph in Red Gap.

- What's the matter?

- Ruggles is gone.

- What?

- He's on his way to San Francisco.

- What are you talking about?

- I...I discharged him.

You discharged him? You...

Oh, you couldn't.

You...you... How dare you?

- What can we do?

- What can we do?

What can we do?

Oh, what can we do?

What can...

Oh, I'm going to faint.

Oh, no. No, I'm not.

I'm going to find Egbert.

It's a mess, isn't it?

It's wonderful.

Well, I don't see

anything wonderful about it.

- You don't?

- No.

You don't?

My father was a gentleman's gentleman,

and his father before him.

And from that heritage of service,

miraculously, there comes a man,

a person of importance, however small,

a man whose decisions

and whose future are in his own hands.

It's wonderful, isn't it?

Restaurant?

Ruggles opening a restaurant?

Yeah, where

the chop suey joint used to be.

Well, of course he's not going to do

anything of the sort.

Whoever suggested

such a horrible idea?

Hey, Ma! Old man Schwartz certainly

did a good job on the suit, didn't he?

Oh, hello, Effie.

Ye Gods and little prairie dogs!

Where in... Where did you get

that horse blanket?

Now, look-a-here, Effie,

this is a man's suit and I aim to wear it!

- Where are your good clothes?

- They're all gone.

Egbert Floud, take off those clothes.

No, sir, I won't do it.

- Take off those clothes!

- No, sir, I won't do it!

Effie, we might just as well have

a showdown right here and now.

What did Lincoln say at Gettysburg?

Yeah, you don't know. Well, I'll tell you.

He said that all men are created equal.

He didn't just mean a few men.

He meant all men, and that includes me.

I'm created equal.

- Equal to what?

- Equal...equal to what?

Well, equal to...

She changed the subject on me.

Er... men are created equal to women!

That's why you have no right

to order me around the way you do.

Abe Lincoln said so.

He also said you can fool some

of the people some of the time,

and all of the people some of the time.

But you can't fool me,

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