Runaway Bride Page #3

ANGLE ON DESK AREA:

She turns off the radio and begins to type her letter.

MAGGIE (V.O.)

"Dear Editor..."

EXT. MANHATTAN - DAY - ESTABLISHING SHOT

As Maggie's VOICE-OVER continues to read her letter, we take in

a Manhattan busy day. It is big, loud, and anonymous.

MAGGIE (V.O.; cont'd)

"Greeting from the sticks! Perhaps you

believe that a rural education is

focused mainly on hog calling and

tractor maintenance rather than reading.

Why else would you print a piece of

fiction about me and call it fact?"

Te CAMERA FINDS Ike, striding across a busy street, dodging

taxies. A WOMAN smacks him with a newspaper. He passes a WOMAN

TRAFFIC OFFICER, then a hot dog stand. He greets and passes a

FALAFEL VENDOR. THE CAMERA PANS to a USA Today Truck.

MAGGIE (V.O.; cont'd)

"I suppose Mr. Graham was too busy

thinking us slanderous statements about

how I dump men for kicks to bother with

something silly like accuracy in

reporting. Which is understandable,

because with a "man-eater" like me on

the loose, who has time to check facts?"

EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCKS - CONTINUOUS

He passes regular GUYS who cheer him.

MAGGIE (V.O.; cont'd)

"Still, we cannibalistic queens can get

pretty cranky when we see things in

print that hurt our feelings, like that

we deliberately abandon fiances with

malice aforethought."

INT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCKS - CONTINUOUS

He enters the newspaper building, going to Ellie's office.

INT. USA TODAY OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

He walks through the crowded city room. His arrival attracts a

lot of attention from his CO-WORKERS. Ike seems a little

surprised, but he's pleased.

MAGGIE (V.O.; cont'd)

"That's why I was surprised to find Mr.

Graham's editor was a woman. Call me a

sentimental fool, but I sort of hoped

we man-eater could stick together."

Ike works his way down the hall to the editor's office. CHUFFA

Ike greets various workers. He steps up to the editor's

secretary, ELAINE. She doesn't smile.

IKE:

(to Elaine)

I'll put in a good word for you.

ELAINE:

No, no, don't mention my name in there.

IKE:

Why?

A buzz.

ELAINE:

You can go in now.

Ike goes into Ellie's office. Elaine picks up her phone.

CUT TO:

INT. ELLIE'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

ELLIE is that editor. Stylish and successful looking, she's

about Ike's age. Ellie sits behind a big desk with a scowl on

her pretty face. Her casual-looking husband, Fisher, sits

nonchalantly on the arm of the couch. Ike enters as Ellie reads

Maggie's letter.

ELLIE:

(reading letter)

"Anyway, I'm just dropping you big city

folk this little note to say that I have

thought of a ritual sacrifice that would

satisfy my current appetite: Ike

Graham's column on a platter. Yours

truly, Maggie Carpenter. P.S. -- I

have inclosed a list of the gross

factual misrepresentations in your

article. There are fifteen."

Ike sits as Ellie puts the letter down and takes off her glasses.

IKE:

(chuckles as he sits)

Fully. I like her. She has wit.

ELLIE:

I left four messages. You don't return

my calls.

IKE:

So? I never returned your calls, even

when we were married. And what's

Fisher doing here anyway?

Fisher gets and places a photo of the cat on a bookshelf on his

way to the other side of the room.

FISHER:

Ellie asked me to come down to offer

moral support.

IKE:

Since when does Ellie need moral supp--

ELLIE:

-- It's for you, Ike.

IKE:

What?

ELLIE:

Journalism lesson number one. If you

fabricate your facts, you get fired.

Ellie pushes USA Today lawyer's letter across the desk for him

to read. Ike picks it up and skims the letter. His face is as

impassive as stone.

IKE:

Lesson number two. Never work for your

former spouse.

ELLIE:

That's not nothing to do with it. You

cooked this story up and you know it.

IKE:

I didn't cook up a story. I had a

source.

ELLIE:

Someone reliable, I'm sure. A booze-

hound in a bar?

FISHER:

In vino veritas.

IKE:

Don't knock drunk guys in bars. Drunk

guys in bars are good. It means

they're not driving.

Ike gets up and stands near Ellie, making his point.

IKE (cont'd)

Besides, I'm a columnist. This is what

columnists are supposed to do. This is

what you like. We push, we stretch, we

go out on a limo. That's what makes me

good!

ELLIE:

No, that's what makes you unemployed.

IKE:

I merely write the stuff. You're the

one that serves it up.

Ike puts down the letter and puts his glasses back into his

pocket.

ELLIE:

Not anymore. I have to draw the line.

(pushing a piece

of paper)

She sent us this list. Our lawyers say

it's actionable.

Ellie hands Ike Maggie's list.

IKE:

(scoffs)

Lawyers.

(glances at list)

I don't know, Ellie -- Firing me is

going to be very tough on you. It's

going to be hard to get over. There

will be therapy bills for you.

ELLIE:

(shrugs)

I already made an appointment for later

today.

IKE:

(putting the list

down, standing)

See? You want custody of my job? ...

Why not just consider my wrist slapped

and call me when you feel I've served

my time?

ELLIE:

I'm sorry, Ike. This is permanent.

Fisher winces and looks away. Ike and Ellie look at each other

for a sober moment.

ELLIE (V.O.; cont'd)

If you go quietly, I'll get you

severance pay.

Ellie fidgets with her toy rake, then Ike heads for the door.

He laughs a little at the painful truth of her words and walks

out. Ellie collapses back in her chair. Fisher goes to her and

rubs her shoulders.

EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCK - DAY

Ike rides sadly on the back of a forklift, gets off and walks

out.

EXT. HALE RESIDENTIAL STREET - ANOTHER MORNING

ANGLE ON MAGGIE'S HOUSE:

A train goes by. A modest clapboard house with a porch. Two

entrances. A PAPERBOY tosses a paper onto the lawn in front of

the house. The front door opens and Maggie appears fresh out of

bed, wearing only a jacket and panties. Heedless of being seen

this way, she scampers out to the sidewalk to pick up her

delivered paper:
USA Today. She tears off the plastic bag and

rips into it, looking for her letter. She finds it. A smile on

her face, then she scampers back into the house.

INT. MAGGIE'S HOUSE - THAT MOMENT

Maggie skips back into her house which she shares with Father

and Grandma. A cozy and eclectic place creatively furnished on

a shoe-string. She rushes into: KITCHEN WHERE BOB KELLY,

fiance #4, is packing cans into a backpack. Bob, 38, has a

pleasant face and a body that is almost shockingly buff. He's

wearing a T-shirt that reads: "Mountaineers Do It Against the

Wall.", Maggie dances over, waving the paper and singing.

MAGGIE:

She canned him, she canned him...

Bob test the weight of the backpack adding dehydrate food.

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