Running with Demons Page #7

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of it. It's an interesting

Music plays

It's an interesting question

I've never been asked this

before - who have I hurt and I

hurt a lot of people but I do

want to say this - that I've

cleaned all that up now.

So I guess I cleaned it up

years ago so I guess for me

at this point it's just to

reiterate and I do it every

year on my sobriety day.

I call my dad and

I say I'm sorry.

And it's even gotten to the

point where I call him on

that day and he says, I

know. And that's the end of

the conversation

until the next year.

The only regret that I have

is that this has taken a toll

on my marriage

and my family the way it has.

Everything else I don't

have any regrets for,

none.

Because it has made

me who I am today.

Everything I've experienced

both with the negative drug

addiction and a positive

sober living has made me who

I am today and that's okay.

Because I know in my heart

that what I'm doing trying to

help other people and I'm

fine with that.

I mean basically I'm sorry to

everyone and everything that

I terrorized during those

addiction years and even in

my sobriety.

To my family, I mean in my

sobriety I apologize to my

family and my close friends

who have worried about me on

a physical level.

I regret that it's

harmed my wife the way it has

it wasn't my intent but I

regret that it has done to

her emotionally.

Nature sounds

You know you don't want to

bring me up to bring me down.

Todd:
Mentally that's good.

Tony:
What do

you got to look forward to?

Todd Crandell:
A little

massage at the half way.

Think I might do it.

Tony:
What else do you

got to look forward to?

Todd Crandell:
Finishing and

then just relax and have a

nice dinner with you guys.

Just be like ah.

Tony:
Is that a dog?

Todd:
That's huge.

You know if you

think about it.

Dave Barrett:
You guys have got

another running mate there too.

Tony:
You got a

little buddy for you.

Todd Crandell:
What oh hey

dude thought you were a bear

come here come on.

Darwin Holt:
He's not sure

how fast he wants to go.

Todd Crandell:
Come here man.

Where do I take him away?

My kids love animals like,

Dad why didn't you bring him

home?

Todd VO:
I've learned how

really how awesome life

is without using drugs.

I've learned that

not being drunk,

not being high on drugs gives

you the ability to be the

best that you can be on that

given day to deal with your

emotional traumas.

And that's all

that's important.

I'm not - I'm striving

for improvement every day,

physically,

emotionally, spiritually,

intellectually and

financially.

It's about striving.

For me I've learned to

balance many things to the

best of my ability.

I've learned not to let

things get out of hand and be

obsessive with.

I'm not saying I'm

perfect at that;

I fail at it miserably still.

But I recognize when I'm

wrong and I do my best to

make it right.

I've learned and I value

and I treasure friendships.

I don't

take them lightly.

I put a lot of

emphasis on them.

I have a - I got a lot of

caring for a lot of awesome

people in my life and I don't

want to do anything to screw

that up.

music plays...

Darwin

Holt:
This is great.

26 more miles to go, man.

Scott:
Yeah, half way there.

Todd Crandell:
Yeah man.

Darwin:
Early in the day?

Scott Horns:
Yeah. It's only 11

o'clock.

He's going to need a

little bit more of this.

Todd Crandell:

That feels good man.

I'll take a couple

of some more of that buddy,

Darwin:
Right

now is the time when all that

training pays off,

all the recovery,

all the nutrition for the

last two days is this

is now.

This is when it pays off,

that's why you got the runner

with you so don't...

Todd Voice:
Right.

Darwin Voice:
Don't be

scared to us it. Right?

Todd Crandell:
Yep.

Darwin:
Okay.

Tony:
What's the coaching

philosophy for this run?

Scott Horns:
Well,

Darwin's experienced ultra,

yeah is a good

strategy set up.

Right approach to

this technique,

taking advantage of down

hills you kind of put a

little extra effort into it

or at least letting gravity

do the effort and just put in

a good effort for this third

of the run.

In the end you're tired but

still feeling good from here

on up you can

keep going strong,

you know if he's

a little tired we'll just

cruise in.

So this is a good time to put

his mind at ease and let him

know that he's got more than

enough time to finish and

finish well without

struggling too much.

Todd Crandell:
That's why I

have these guys with me

because I would have gassed

myself a long time ago.

Rock music plays

Kay Doughty:
I think that

what Todd is doing with

Racing Recovery is a very

healthy way for recovery.

There is no one route to

recovery what Todd has found,

with the triathlete at being a

triathlete and what he's

giving to the folks that come

to Racing for Recovery is a

path that will create natural

highs for the individuals,

the behavior that they can

use for themselves so that

they won't pick up

alcohol or other drugs.

And I applaud Todd for

what he is doing.

I think he has hit on

something which is successful

for some people, it's

not for everyone but it is

successful.

Music Plays

Marcia:
Yeah.

He's been a really big

inspiration to me he's

really helped me so.

Tony:
Yeah.

Can you talk a little

bit about that?

Marcia Reams:

See... I'm sorry.

I was in rehab because

I was doing a lot of

drugs and things and then he

my mom kind of brought him

in.

She was like,

There is this guy,

he's really

cool, he's racing,

and I'd started to train for

a half marathon with my mom.

And she was like, He's going

to come out and talk to you

guys. And I was

like, Alright.

That's cool. You know like

because I was on the road to

sobriety so finding out

someone else was and we heard

about his story and

that was just a really big

inspiration.

But he...

Kathy:
[Indiscernible]

Marcia:
I'm emotional.

Tony:
It's okay.

You're allowed to be.

Marcia:
But he's just he's

really amazing like and see he

ran the half marathon with

us but he wasn't feeling too

well that day but he was

he's generally like I don't

know like... just the way he

would interact with us all

and be there for us.

I don't know...

he'd always tell me,

Never give up, and stuff

like that but when

things get hard I

think about Todd so...

Kathy:
And I know he's had hard

times with everything and

he's been up and down with

Racing for Recovery and he's

really been an

inspiration so.

Tony:
What are we

doing here Darwin,

philosophy wise?

Darwin Holt:
We're

just staying steady.

Let's this - we're in to

the big part of the day

mentally, so what did

you say we have left?

Todd Crandell:
13

Darwin Holt:
13 miles so half

marathon.

Todd Crandell:
Anybody

can do a half marathon.

Darwin Holt:
Anybody

can do a half marathon.

And Todd's strong.

He's right where we want him

to be that's why we started

off slow today.

And you're

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