Russell Howard Live: Dingledodies Page #11

---

What happened there?

(Cheering, applause)

What happened?

Uh... Well, as l went to shake your hand

you sneezed and fell backwards,

pulling me down with you

and hitting your head on the floor,

then headbutting me on the rebound

and knocking me out.

Sounds entirely plausible.

- Come here.

- (Applause)

l am gonna take you into the house

to meet my wife and daughter.

- (Cheering)

- Turn.

lt's as easy as that.

(Laughter)

Right, l think l want a girl now.

- Who...

- (Laughter)

Where did that go? Sorry, man,

that was really... That could have really hurt.

Did anyone get hurt? Sorry,

l was looking down your top there, madam.

l came over and went,

''Oh! Jesus. F***in' hell.''

Well, l'll be honest,

as ever in Brighton, you know...

lt always ends weird here

cos l've got to leave my DVD

with people at home watching it

knowing there's a boy backstage.

''Whatever happened to the boy?''

Maybe we'll do that as a DVD extra.

We'll find out, wouldn't that be great?

He's just chained to a radiator.

At the beginning of the next DVD

he's all withered, like a Dorian Gray face,

and me going,

''Ha ha ha ha! We take him everywhere.''

(Groans) ''Let me see my loved ones.''

So, ladies and gentlemen of Brighton, it's

been the weirdest gig, as ever, but f*** it.

lt's been a genuine pleasure. Thank you

so much for coming, hope you had fun.

Ta-ra. Farewell. Goodnight!

(Cheering)

(# Kasabian:
Club Foot)

# One, take control of me

# You're messing with the enemy

# Said it's two, it's another trick

# Messin' with my mind

l wake up

# Chase down an empty street

# Blindly snap the broken beats

# Said it's gone with the dirty trick

# lt's taken all these days to find you

# l tell you want you

# l tell you l need you... #

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes