Russell Madness Page #7

Oh, who am I kidding?

I miss that little guy so much.

- We can't let this happen.

- I know.

It's not pretty seeing

a grown monkey cry.

No. We've got to do

something about Russell.

This just in,

Russell Maniac fans:

Mick Vaughn has just announced

that Russell is now the

sole property of the WUF.

Max? Hunk?

Max and Hunk are gone.

Hello.

I... I'm Derek from Pet Utopia.

Well, guess this is it for me.

No friends, no family.

Can't even wrestle. I'm a fake.

A lonely fraud.

Just a crazy dog in a cage

talking to himself.

- Russell.

- Russell.

- Come here, boy. Russell

- Russell.

Russell.

Yep, I'm already hearing things.

Russell, where are you?

Russell.

For the love of bananas,

it's me.

Hunk?

Shh!

Keep it down. I'm busting

you out of this joint.

Russell,

we're here to take you home.

But I let you all down.

I'm a phony.

Are you kidding me?

You didn't let anyone down.

You lost one match.

And it was rigged.

Well, maybe

they were all rigged.

With Mick, we can't be too sure.

But my point is,

every great champ

loses at least one match.

And you know what

made them great champs?

What they did after they lost.

They picked up their pride,

dusted it off,

ate a bunch of bananas

and got back in the ring.

But everyone was

really disappointed in me.

I saw it in their faces.

Everyone loves you, Russ.

Even me. There, I said it.

I love you, kiddo.

Keep it together, Hunk.

Keep it together.

We're on your team, you know?

Always. We're family.

We all miss you, Russy baby.

Come here, Russell.

Come here.

You know, I just read you need

four hugs a day to survive.

Eight to really thrive.

So what do you say, big guy?

Let's hug it out.

My stress is melting away.

What the...

What are we still

standing here for?

Let's blow this banana stand.

- Hey, who's there?

- Uh-oh! It's the fuzz!

- What are you doing in here?

- Do you feel lucky, punk?

Drop that stick

and reach for the sky, now.

Don't hurt me.

Max, get his handcuffs

and cuff him to that pipe.

I can put that one

in my new book.

- 101 Uses For a Banana.

- You're a monkey!

Oh, boy, another genius.

Let's make like

a banana and split.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, Russell, let's go.

Arrivederci.

Come on.

We're almost there.

What? You think

you can run from me?

That mutt belongs to the WUF.

Hey, Nate, yeah, see now

I can press charges here.

Your son's taking my property.

Actually, sir,

Russell is not your property.

Who's this chump?

His name is Derek

and he is from Pet Utopia.

When I found out Russell

was going to be given away

to the pound, I adopted him.

So as you can see, Mr. Vaughn,

Russell is not your property.

He's mine.

But, Russell needs a family.

And he found one

in the Ferraros.

I've never seen him happier,

or braver.

I'm handing over custody of

Russell to the Ferraro family.

You can't do that.

He can't do that, can he, Milo?

Actually, they can do that.

This contract makes ours

null and void.

Mick, you have zero ownership

of the dog.

There's something wrong here.

Well, I guess that settles that.

Well, you walk away now,

you still don't own

the Ferraro arena.

I will evict your family.

But I'll make you a deal.

I'll give you the arena,

if you sign Russell over to me.

How's that?

A dog for a building.

- Forget it.

- What?

You heard me.

Russell is a member

of this family.

And we are the Ferraros,

and family always comes first,

not greed.

So you can take the building.

You're making

a big mistake there, Ferraro.

You're trying to succeed

where your grandfather failed.

That's your family legacy.

Failure.

I've had enough of

this cheeseball

in a cheap monkey suit.

It's all right, Hunk. It's okay.

It's not okay.

He insulted you.

Let me at him.

I'll tear him limb from limb.

- Your monkey talks!

- I know. I know.

Apparently, humans are

dumbfounded by a talking monkey.

Tell you what, Mr. Vaughn,

we'll vacate the building

by the end of day tomorrow.

Have a nice night.

But that means no more

Ferraro Wrestling.

That's our family legacy.

We can't lose that.

He's right though.

We are all family, Russ.

Yes, we are a family.

And family is a verb.

When I met you, Hunk,

I was a scared, lonely pup.

Afraid of my own shadow.

You taught me about courage,

hard work,

and that everything

is a negotiation.

I can't just give up now

and never know

if I was actually a champion.

I will do anything

for this family.

My family.

We need a re-match, Hunk.

Russell will do battle

with The Hammer in a re-match.

And this time...

it'll be for real.

And his coach will be Hunk,

the monkey.

And if he wins...

we get the building

and we keep Russell.

All right.

But if you lose...

I get everything.

But the match has to take

place in the Ferraro arena.

Well, we've got

one more provision.

It's going to be

a tag team match. Yes.

So Russell's gotta

find himself a partner.

This is going to be

the biggest match

in the history of the WUF.

- What do you say?

- We got a deal.

Hey. Yeah.

Way to go, kid.

He's a smart one.

It's wrestling night here

at Ferraro arena

and I'll tell you, TJ,

I... I'm a bit nervous.

Yes, and in this next match,

our jobs are literally

on the line.

Are you sure you

want to do this, Daddy?

I have to show Max. Yeah!

That I believe in something

more than just money.

Yes, you do.

Papa Maximiliano, he was right.

Fame and fortune comes and goes.

But family, family is forever.

The very large and

incredibly intimidating

Dieter Das Mountain.

Yodel-ay-hee-hoo.

My schnitzel!

You go get 'em.

- We'll crush them!

- You think you're strong enough?

- And here comes The Hammer.

- It is Hammer time!

Hammer time!

You're welcome.

You're all welcome.

The man who once said,

and I quote,

"String cheese

really isn't string.

It is just cheese."

It's an honor for you to be

my presence.

It's Hammer time!

Now, ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome the one,

the only...

Russell Maniac!

Russell, you're my hero!

Russell!

Russell! Russell! Russell!

Russell! Russell! Russell!

Yeah, I like him.

In his first match ever,

it's Maximiliano Ferraro Junior!

He's just a kid!

Okay, kids, you got this.

Make Maximiliano proud.

Let's do this.

All right, remember,

we can't lose.

We're Ferraros.

The strongest

tag team is family.

Okay, we got this.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this will be a tag team match.

I want to see

a good clean fight.

Both teams ready?

We're ready.

It's Hammer time.

It's time to wrestle!

It sounds like they're ready.

Oh, boy, Max, I mean, II Maniac,

is going to be in the ring first

versus Dieter Das Mountain.

Now, that is a big decision

for team Russell Maniac.

Are you ready?

I'm going to crush you.

Focus, Max.

- What?

- Come on!

Max?

Now, you see me, now you don't.

Woohoo!

- Come on, ref

- No. Oh, please.

- This is not happening today!

- My beautiful eyes.

- Not my son. I'll kill you.

- Mom, stop.

- Hey!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes