RV Page #5

Carl!

Carl, we're coming!

Bob!

Mom!

Jamie!

Bob!

Table for four. No smoking.

Wipe your feet.

See? That's why you should study.

So you can get good grades

and go to a big party school.

Hey, Dad, how come you never

got a pool table for the house?

Because of the generalissimo

over there.

We had one before you were born,

in the dining room...

...but then you get a job,

invite people for dinner...

- ... you have a family...

- Life used to be fun.

It was fun. But then something

happened that was a lot more fun.

We got the George Foreman

smokeless grill.

Okay.

It's fine. Let's just go to sleep.

Dad.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, great, you're up.

Will you make the coffee?

- Love to.

- Thank you.

Do you want me to drive?

- You okay, Dad?

- Oh, yeah.

Dad, emergency!

Gornickes.

I'll get their computer.

I feel like that hitchhiker

in The Twilight Zone.

What do they like about us?

We're not even that appealing.

I'm not gonna spend my life...

...going door to door,

selling musical car horns.

- The Gornickes. I'll flag them down.

- Cassie!

She got him.

Munros!

Bob! Jamie!

It's the Gornickes.

- Pretend to talk to me.

- Oh, yeah.

Pull over! We've got your stuff!

Munros. It's the Gornickes.

Pull over. We have your computer.

And a Happy Max bag.

Pull over.

Kids, grab your paint guns.

Pull ahead.

We'll put one across their bow.

You know, seeing you drive this thing

is really turning me on.

What?

They've got guns!

We've also got -

You can come up now.

Where did you learn

to drive like that?

How do you think

I get the kids to school on time?

What a shame. If we had their address,

we could just ship it to them.

Well, we do know

where they're headed.

Mount Watson, Colorado.

You know,

if you wore clothes that fit...

- ... you wouldn't look like a 10- Year - Old.

- It's how I roll.

Oh, sweet.

You say something, Frodo?

I was just saying

how that guy Shaq'd you there.

- We got two - On - Two, right?

- Why don't you find...

...an under - 2- Foot league.

Why don't you trade that thing in

on top of your neck for a face.

I'm gonna floss your rear.

- Let's go, bring it. Come on.

- Yo, my mobile homeboys.

- What's tripping in the wood?

- This termite belong to you?

- Don't call -

- Yo, my man - Easy.

This my man, C.

He's small, but ferocious.

But you dogs, you're hardcore.

Where you from?

- Scottsdale.

- Scottsdale, in the 'Zona.

That's a hardcore 'hood.

But you want to take on

my man C, here...

...go ahead, because, you know...

...he's fierce,

he gonna come up in your face...

...he'll damage you.

You gonna walk away, maybe limp.

But I say talk to the hand, call waiting,

because he's out. Boy is out.

I can't restrains him. Because

I'm conversating you right now...

...to give him a chance to cool down,

to get back to a realistic level...

...as we were. Because we could be

chilling in our crib.

Not just on this mobile home thing,

representing Malibu...

...and Westwood, you know.

Malling it, like we all can.

Boys to mensch.

Pimp my Mercedes, call me back...

...put you on hold.

You know what I'm saying?

We gotta go.

You better, man. Don't make me

call my lawyer, because I'll audit.

Aren't you glad Dad came?

They were about to kick your butt.

Carl.

That's not helpful. Carl.

Carl.

It occurs to me that you and I

haven't had too many...

...7th Heaven kind of dialogues

in the last year.

- You're busy a lot.

- Yeah, but not too busy to notice...

...that you are sensitive

about your size.

I'll bet you $1000 right now

you'll grow up bigger than me.

I've seen pictures of you when you

were my age. You were huge.

- You were shaving already.

- Yeah, well, that's my point.

See, I achieved maturity very early.

I stopped growing

after the eighth grade.

But you have the other body type.

You're like my friend John Vigoshi.

When he was 16,

he had a 9- Inch summer.

How do you mean that?

He grew very tall, very quickly,

and so will you.

And you're being proactive.

You're lifting weights.

And when you grow up big,

you know what we'll do?

What?

We'll enter father - Son

extreme - Fighting competitions.

- All right.

- You'll have to push the wheelchair.

But we'll get them high,

and we'll get them low.

Coming at you a little heat right now.

Give me a little heat there.

A little heat. A little pepper there.

Hike! All right.

What's up?

Kids, dinner's gonna be a little late

because -

Sorry. False alarm.

- The buzzing is not me.

- Bob.

- Hello.

- Before you hang up on me again...

...we need to talk.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you very well.

Signal. No, no. Yeah.

Hold on one second. The signal.

Just a - Can you hear me now?

- Hey, Todd. Did you get the proposal?

- Not bad.

My Laird didn't like it very much.

- Who cares what Laird thinks.

- I do. He's young, Bob.

We'll talk about it tonight

on the plane.

- No.

- No?

I flew in last night. It's a mile high here

and I want to get acclimated.

You don't wanna have a nose bleed

in a presentation.

Could be a little embarrassing.

So I'll see you there. Here.

Mom, he's suffering.

Honey, can I help?

No, honey.

No, don't come down here.

Boy, I'm just gonna try

and clean up a little -

Don't use bark.

These are great.

Yeah, there it is. That does the trick.

Ferns. Nature's broom.

Honey, no. You can't go on like this.

It's 10 miles.

No,

i don't wanna spoil it for you guys.

- You won't. We'll go tomorrow.

- No.

Tomorrow we go to the lake.

Listen, I'll stay here. You go on.

- I don't know -

- Go. It's a beautiful hike.

Guys?

Come on, kids.

Yeah? Okay.

Good.

I'll try and make it back to the RV.

I'm okay. Got my ferns.

Okay. I'm okay.

Go on. Go on, you guys.

Save yourself. Okay.

Welcome to the RoadMate 700.

Hi, Lola. My wife's not here.

- The hell are you driving?

- Cadillac of RVs, Todd.

You know, we should go over - Laird.

Yeah, I decided

to go with Laird's presentation.

- But hang around, tell a few jokes.

- You got it.

Hi there.

- Larry Moiphine.

- Garry Moiphine.

- Cute dog.

- Oh, yeah. She's a sweetie.

Oh, yeah, who's a good girl?

- Todd?

- No.

- Bob.

- Hi, Bob.

- Laird.

- Hi, Laird.

Larry. Laird.

So, fellas, we'll have a little nosh

and we'll hear your presentation.

- Tammy's not here yet. Our assistant.

- So we'll eat slow.

- Come on.

- Gentlemen.

Oh, hi. Hi. Sorry I'm late.

You guys have all just got to see

the circus before it leaves.

- It's good, huh?

- It was amazing.

Wow, so...

Oh, of course. I believe you folks

have a presentation for us.

- Yes. Laird.

- Good luck.

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