RV Page #4

- How about breakfast tomorrow?

- Bagels and deer testicles?

- Oh, yeah, she's funny, just like you.

We'd have breakfast,

but we're early risers.

- Well, us too. Six a. M. Work for you?

- We'll be long gone by then.

Yeah, trust us.

Bob? Bob?

- Let's go, let's go. Bob?

- Yeah, baby.

- Oh, friendly folks.

- Yeah, they're nice people.

- Hi, Mr. Munro.

- Hi, Billy. I'm just -

- You sure got a nice one.

- What?

That's a nice laptop.

Oh, thanks. What are you doing up?

I have a sleep disorder.

I haven't slept since I was 5.

So you just wander around

the campground.

Yeah, I don't really mind.

It's the only time I have alone.

Well, see you.

Oh, okay.

- Morning.

- Good morning, Mr. Munro.

- Come on. Come on, let's go.

- It's 5:
30.

The Gornickes.

Bob, a little help.

Little help? Cassie?

There's movement.

She - She's moving.

Carl, let's get going.

Let's move it, let's move it.

Bob, gun it.

Carl. Cass, what's our status?

She's out the door. She's coming.

Mayday, mayday, she's coming!

Come on. Let's go, let's go.

Go, go, go!

- Come on!

- It's in gear, but it's not moving.

- The wheel!

- This stupid pop - Out thing.

Hurry, Mom, she's coming!

Come on, come on, come on.

Will you move this son of a bi -

Hey!

They are early risers.

I'm going a whole 12 miles an hour.

Then pass him.

Kids, leave him alone.

He's not that good a driver.

Really.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

- Come on.

- Bob.

Bob. Bob. Bob.

Bob.

All right.

- Okay. All right.

- Thanks.

- Hey, guess what.

- What?

We need gas.

And I really have to go

to the bathroom.

You know we have one of those.

Yeah, but after my last little

shower of sadness...

Okay, okay, do what you have to do.

I've got an ICBM coming.

If there's a poop fairy,

i can make a lot of money.

I could be a while, baby.

It's an 80- Gallon tank.

Dad, you in here?

Carl, I just need a minute.

Sure, only the RV's rolling away.

Be right out.

- Hey, Bob.

- Travis.

Yeah, I think you've got

a little problem with your vehicle.

I'm no expert...

...but it's your parking - Gear

interlock and your emergency brake.

- How did you...?

- It's a miracle.

We pulled in

the second it started rolling away.

Isn't that something?

Wanna hear about the time...

- ... jesus saved us from a tornado?

- It's great.

I'd love to,

but I was in the little boys' room...

...taking care of business

when Carl interrupted...

...but Jamie would love to hear it.

Well, it seems just like yesterday.

Thank you.

I don't wanna get too big,

you know.

- I mean, I don't want to look freakish.

- No.

- What is this?

- It's a list of places...

...between here and Colorado

that sell organic health food.

- I got it last night off the internet.

- Oh, that was really thoughtful.

- What are you listening to?

- Nothing.

So Billy was blown

right out of that tree.

Right before he hit the ground,

from out of nowhere...

...comes this queen - Size

Simmons mattress...

...slides right under him

and cushions his fall.

Saved his life.

Plus, we needed the mattress.

I have a bad back.

So you folks wanna join us

for breakfast?

- We -

- Ate.

Mr. Munro,

i was just telling Earl and Moon...

...about that neat laptop

you were using.

- When were you using a laptop?

- At work, all the time.

- I was just telling him -

- When did he see you?

You know,

we'd love to join you for breakfast.

- Somebody's ripe.

- Welcome to my world.

You guys go on in, get that table.

We'll be right there.

All right. Come on, kids.

- We're ditching them?

- Absolutely.

- Okay.

- Kids, move.

So because you told them

we were early risers...

...we had to get up at 5:30...

- ... to avoid the Gornickes...

- Right.

...which we managed not to do

anyway...

...because you refused to use the

bathroom on the RV that you rented.

You're determined

to have a bad time, aren't you?

We all are, Dad.

Not me. I embrace every challenge.

Honey, maybe they just got

some bad news and had to leave.

You're a sweet woman, Mary Jo.

It's what I love about you.

But them folks ditched us.

Oh, Trav, honey, pull over.

Let's pull over.

He looks like a folk singer.

- Climb aboard.

- Hello there.

- How you doing, buddy?

- Sir.

Welcome to the Gornicke bus.

You a folk singer?

Cass,

can you turn on the oven for me?

I am so bored.

I could actually throw up

from how bored I am.

I brought games.

Sorry!, Monopoly, Twister.

- Come on, it'll be fun.

- Fun.

Did you turn on the oven?

- No.

- I'll do it.

- Raccoon in the oven!

- Oh, please. No.

Don't open it.

Did you take out the roast

from last night?

- I guess not.

- What's the plan?

Give him Carl. Maybe he'll eat him.

Give him you.

He's on the South B*tch Diet.

- Good one.

- Okay, hey.

Hey, come on. Don't you see

what the raccoon's doing?

He's playing head games.

He wants to divide and conquer us.

We have to hang together,

stay strong.

- Just get rid of it.

- Just me?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

Come on, Blue.

There's coons in there.

- Come on, boy.

- Bob.

- Go get him, boy.

- Bob.

Just kidding.

I'm going in.

Is anyone gonna stop me?

"Dad, don't.

The raccoon might have rabies"?

Nothing? Not a word?

Not really.

- Daddy?

- Yeah, baby.

Don't hurt him.

I am entering the RV.

Still no sign.

I'm going towards the oven door.

I'm opening the ov -

Oh, my God!

There's more than one!

You guys, he's just joking around.

Get back.

Back. Back! Back!

You hideous -

We need a new plan.

All right, let's go.

You're off the Gornicke bus.

I didn't steal it. I found it.

Well, now you lost it.

That's why they didn't

come to breakfast.

He lost his computer, he needs it.

They went off frantic to find it.

I was quick to think the worst.

I'm filled with chagrin.

Oh, honey.

- What is that?

- It's a stink bomb.

Got it from the guy in the office.

Cost me $175.

I can get this for five bucks online,

i know it.

You're gonna set that off in the RV?

He assured me it's not toxic.

Just noxious, like Grandpa Ted.

Don't litter.

Suck on this, Rocky.

Yeah!

Run, critters.

Yeah, there's more where

that came from, you little bandits.

Yeah!

I'm not so ill - Equipped to handle an

emergency as some people may think.

- No one said you were ill - Equipped.

- You know it, baby.

How long does this last?

Up to six hours.

It's a beautiful evening.

Let's sit outside and enjoy nature.

Why don't we huddle

under the awning?

Oh, we can't.

Dad tore it off back in Nevada.

Well, why don't we just

get underneath the umbrella?

Oh, that's right.

Dad fed it to the raccoons.

- Please, try the office again.

- No, he's an idiot.

He won't let us in.

He charged me $70 for these bags.

What about that bar

we passed on the way up here?

- Yeah, Dad, pizza.

- And a roof.

No, it's dark out there. Besides,

those raccoons could be waiting.

Hey! I can see it.

It's just down there.

Come on, I'm starving.

- Bob?

- It's a bad idea.

It's just down the -

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