Sailor Beware Page #5

What do they want us to do,

swim across?

- We're going by submarine.

- Oh, submarine.

I get sick going down in an elevator.

- What did he have to wind them for?

- Quit your beefing.

You're lucky nobody bet a cuckoo clock.

Detail, halt.

Detail from Training Squadron 87 B

reporting as ordered, sir.

At ease, men.

Lardoski, you'll be the only one

for whom it will not be a new experience

to sail aboard a submarine.

You'll be in charge of our passengers

and see that they don't get in the way

of ship's company.

- Yes, sir.

- It must be remembered that

we're merely transporting them.

They'll get their further assignments

when we get to Honolulu.

And for the rest of you men,

there is a certain freedom that's

permitted in the submarine service.

Among the officers and enlisted men,

we do away with the usual formalities

because of the confined space.

All right, Lardoski, you can load them

aboard the forward torpedo room hatch.

Oh, he's friendly.

Won't this be ginger peachy?

Yeah, real keen.

All right, men, follow me, single file.

Let's go!

Put your bag right down the hatch.

Take it easy now.

Watch your step.

You'll get used to it.

Follow him right down.

Bag, that's right.

I'm very glad we're gonna be informal.

My name is Melvin Jones,

but you can call me Melvin.

- Go on, get going!

- I'm going. You don't have to yell.

Why don't you watch what you're doing?

Stop the head, Al, stop the head.

- I don't like it here. I'm gonna quit.

- What do you mean quit?

Submarine service is

the safest part of the Navy.

Safest part? I almost got killed.

All you have to do is keep your head up,

eyes straight and watch your step.

Once you get the hang of it,

it's very simple.

Head up, eyes straight

and watch your step.

Now, let's go find our quarters

before something else happens to you.

Oh, come on!

Gee, I hope they checked this for leaks.

Watch where you're going.

Hey, Al, it ain't much,

but we could fix it up.

Well, do you think

it's good enough for us?

Not really, but I think we should grab it

before a couple of other guys do.

- Somebody else already grabbed it.

- Yeah?

Well, possession is

nine points of the law.

I'd like to see somebody else grab it,

huh, Al?

We'll put clean sheets on

and everything.

Melvin, you better leave the sheets on.

Leave the sheets on?

How do we know who slept on it?

Come on, Al, you're not helping me

at all. Throw these out in the hall.

- AI, the Commander. The Commander.

- This is my stateroom, sailor.

You've got one minute

to get this place cleaned up and get out,

or you'll spend the rest of this trip

chained to a torpedo!

I'm sorry, sir, we'll take care of it.

We'd better hurry.

They'll be assigning bunks.

All right, men, get your gear in order

and stow your empty sea bags

under the bunks.

And where were you?

Kissing the engineer?

- Come on, Lardoski, lay off of him.

- Yeah, lay off. I've been sick.

That first bunk is yours.

- Oh!

- Not up there. Down there.

- How am I supposed to get in there?

- You just lie down,

and the man above pulls his bunk down,

gets in, and so on.

Turk, Crowthers, these two are yours.

Bull, 'Bama, take those two.

Put that back into your sea bag.

It's just in case

we have to abandon ship.

I said put it back.

How can I get this back in my sea bag?

Now, get rid of that thing,

then turn in, all of you.

Shut up and turn in, all of you.

Big man, big...

Hey, Al?

- What?

- I forgot to take my shoes off.

- Hey, Turk.

- What?

He forgot to take his shoes off.

Thank you.

- You all right now?

- I never sleep with my shoes on.

All right, come on. Let's go.

You can put it down now.

Okay, Turk.

Hey, Al?

- What?

- I forgot to brush my teeth.

- Oh, do it in the morning.

- I'm thirsty.

Drill a hole in the side of the ship.

Where will I get the tools?

Lie still, will you?

I think I'm gonna faint. I gotta get up.

- Hey, Turk.

- What?

- Melvin's gotta get up.

- Why does he gotta get up?

He's sick. We gotta take care of him.

We gotta a lot of dough on him.

We've done everything

but sing him to sleep.

I like to be sung to sleep.

Okay, okay. I'll do that, too.

Today

Tomorrow, forever

What's going on here?

You were ordered secured for the night.

- Yes, sir.

- Who was singing?

I was, sir. Seaman Crowthers.

Report to me in the mess compartment

in 10 minutes.

He didn't do it, sir. It was me.

Do what you want with me.

Swing me to the yardarm,

batten me down the hatches,

hoist me to the mizzenmast,

make me walk the plank,

throw me to the sharks.

I did the singing.

You couldn't.

- Crowthers reporting, sir.

- Very well.

Hey, I only sent for Crowthers.

Well, we wanted to take

the blame, too, sir.

I'm not blaming him for anything.

As you know, life aboard a submarine

can be pretty confining.

We like to keep the morale up.

I thought he'd like to sing

with the boys here.

- Oh, you mind if the fellows sit in?

- No, carry on.

Thank you, sir.

Well, let's start messing around

with something.

You know The Sailors' Polka?

Let's go.

Come on and play the sailors' polka

Make way for Navy blue

Oh, how the girls all love to polka

With a sailor who's tried and true

Where there is music

and there's moonlight

The Navy knows what to do

So come on and play the sailors' polka

Make way for Navy blue

Oh, the band will start in playing

When the fleet comes sailing in

They'll be hip hip hip hooray-ing

And the good times will begin

They'll be gobs and gobs of misses

Who'll be waiting on the shore

With gobs and gobs of kisses

For the gobs that they adore

Long before they drop the anchor

You will hear the music start

Every pretty girl will hanker

To win a sailor's heart

Yeah, the band will start in playing

And the dancing will begin

When the fleet comes sailing in

Come on and play the sailors' polka

Make way for Navy blue

Oh, how the girls all love to polka

With a sailor who's tried and true

Where there is music

And there's moonlight

The Navy knows what to do

So come on and play the sailors' polka

Make way for Navy blue

Make way for Na

Submerge, submerge.

- ... vy

- ... vy

Scrape the bottom.

- Blue

- Blue

Clark, go forward and relieve the watch.

Aye, aye, Chief.

Hey, Jones, take these wheels,

will you?

Chief, the hydraulic line carried away.

Come on down and give me a lift.

Okay.

I wonder which one is the brake.

Take the scope.

I'll see what's going on down there.

What are you, a wise guy?

You ought to be shot out of a torpedo.

- He ought to be shot, period.

- I didn't mean to do nothing.

Knock it off.

Jones, you've caused more trouble

in the few days you've been on my ship

- than I've had in all my years of service.

- Nobody's perfect.

Lardoski, will you see

that he's kept out of mischief

- until we reach Pearl Harbor?

- Aye, aye, sir.

I know a very nice, quiet, safe place

to put you for the rest of this voyage.

Come on!

This is the Captain speaking

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