Sailor Beware Page #6

to all you new men.

We're going to make a dive shortly.

This is a normal operation.

You'll hear two blasts

on the diving alarm,

and in about 50 seconds we'll be under.

Clear the bridge, clear the bridge.

Dive, dive.

Green board, pressure in the boat, sir.

- Very well, 60 feet.

- 60 feet. Aye, aye, sir.

Al! Al!

Hey, down there,

if you can hear me, yell "Roger!"

- What is it, Captain?

- I don't know. You look.

If you can't hear me, can you see me?

Over. Roger.

- What do you figure it is?

- I've got no idea, sir.

It's Melvin. Melvin Jones.

Let's see.

Bye, seagull.

Pete, take a look at this.

- Did you make it out?

- Can't make it out, Captain.

Let's wipe it off.

- Still there, sir.

- Let's see.

Al! Al!

Take a look at this.

Looks like a sea monster to me,

Captain.

Sea monster? What?

I've never seen anything like it before.

Make all preparations to surface.

Two main engines.

Standby to surface. Two main engines.

Aye, aye, sir.

Hey, you, there! Get down here.

- Who is that man?

- This is a fine way to treat a guest.

- What's that character doing up there?

- That character, sir, is Melvin Jones.

- Hey, you, get down here!

- I'm hurrying.

I'm coming as fast as I can.

You, Jones,

what were you doing on deck?

You closed the doors.

I can't swim. I could've drowned.

Didn't you hear the order

to clear the bridge and dive?

- Dive? I just told you I can't swim.

- Lay below.

- Through the hatch.

- Aye, aye, sir.

Liberty commences immediately.

Expires on board at 0745 tomorrow.

Leave your quarters.

Honolulu!

Come on, let's go.

Pearl Harbor.

- Corinne.

- Oh, you lucky women.

Oh, you catching cold?

- No, I think there's girls on shore.

- You mean you can smell them?

No, he's used to that.

Every time women are around,

that's what happens to him.

He has that female radar

built right in his nose.

- And when it clogs, it means girls.

- Dames.

Women.

Now, put me down, fellas, please.

Hey, Al, tell them to put me down!

Fellas, please put me down.

Come on, fellas, will you put me down?

He's allergic to dames, lady.

We're using him like radar.

Yeah, they must be in here.

Look, his eyes are getting watery.

I can't breathe.

Put me down, I can't breathe.

That means we're warm.

Coming in, Lardoski?

You can say that again, mate.

And I'll point out Corinne.

You don't have to. I saw the picture.

Hilda!

Don't you "Hilda" me.

I'm even sorry we have the same name.

Let me down, fellas.

Are you stationed here?

No, I'm living here

for the 10 glorious days

I won on the Tempting Kiss

Lipstick contest.

The Navy granted me a leave.

Lady, stay away from him,

will you, please?

He's concentrating on only one dame.

Don't worry, sailor,

I'll stay away from him,

- as far as I can get.

- Hilda, please.

- Save your strength, Romeo.

- Hilda.

- Come on. Let's go inside.

- Let me down, fellas.

Hilda!

Hilda.

Merci beaucoup

Thank you, monsieur

Thank you

The cocktails you served

Were really so grand

And my heart skipped a beat

When you touched my hand

As you served me the

Caviar

And that delightful cheese

It was so nice

Merci beaucoup

Thank you, monsieur

Thank you

I'm afraid that the wine

It went to my head

But I got such a

Thrill

- There she is.

- What a piece of furniture.

Wow! I ain't never seen anything

like that except in pictures.

Gee, I wonder how that dress

would look on Hilda.

- Come on, let's go to the bar.

- Come on.

It was so nice

Thank you, monsieur

Thank you

- A bourbon and water, please.

- I'll have a Scotch and water.

Right, sir.

I thought you were out of the Navy,

Lardoski.

Oh, I shipped over.

Where did Corinne go?

She'll be back soon. Are you still trying?

- Isn't everybody?

- They sure are.

My singer quit me last week on account

of she wouldn't date him.

I didn't understand it.

She used to get dreamy-eyed

every time he'd sing like this.

Moonlight becomes you

Oh, you mean,

Moonlight becomes you

Say, my patrons would enjoy having

a serviceman entertain them.

- Oh, I'm not interested.

- A little number in front of the band?

Anything the boys want is on the house.

Oh, that's different!

- Melvin, you're staying with me.

- I want to find Hilda.

You're staying with me

if you have to stand next to me

while I sing the song.

Oh, Al, no. Al.

- What was the name?

- AI Crowthers.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're very

fortunate in having a guest artist,

Seaman Al Crowthers,

United States Navy.

All right, Melvin,

you're gonna do a song with me.

- I don't know no song.

- Sure, the one we did in the submarine?

Oh, yeah, I like that number.

- The Sailors' Polka.

- Yeah, what do I do in it?

- You do the fast part.

- How's it go?

Oh, the band will start in playing

And the good times will begin

Oh, that's good. What part do you sing?

The slow part.

Come on and play the sailors' polka

Oh, let's try it.

- Come on and play the sailors' polka

- Oh, the band will start in

playing

Mel.

You're probably wondering

why I stopped.

- You forgot the words?

- Come on, Melvin, do the fast parts.

Oh, the band will start in playing

And the good times will begin

I got it now. Hurry up before I forget.

- Come on and play the sailors'

- Oh, the band will start in playing

Shut up!

What's wrong with you?

You got the easy part,

that's what's wrong.

- You want to switch parts?

- Yeah, let me do your part.

Okay.

Come on and play the sailors' polka

I see birdies with wheels so bare

"See birdies with wheels so bare"?

- Oh, you, too?

- Will you get out of here?

Well, I didn't know the words,

so I made them up.

I don't like that song, anyhow.

How would you like to do a song

in unison?

- No, let's do it here in the club.

- Sure. Why leave?

Let's make it a little harder.

You and I do a trio.

Where we gonna get four guys?

Look, in this next number,

you don't even have to know the song.

You don't even have to sing.

Oh, we're gonna do another one

together both?

"Together both"? That's as bad as,

"Up the street, the soldiers,

"they're marching down."

Now, come on, let's sing the song.

You just automatically flow right into it.

- All right, let's flow.

- Okay.

My grandpa was a minstrel man

A minstrel man was he

And to tell the truth

I guess I've got

Some minstrel blood in me

You can have all the harps in heaven

Blow all the horns here on the ground

But I find I still

Get my greatest thrill

Every time I hear this sound

I love to hear

An old calliope

I love the melody of an old calliope

And when you hear

The thrilling harmony

Gather round

The minstrel's show's in town

It sounds so grand

That old calliope

What is more heavenly

Than an old calliope

Here comes the band

Oh, what a sight to see

Gather round

The minstrel's show's in town

Banjos strumming

Folks are humming

Minstrel's coming

What a show

What a show

- It's the finest show I know

- It's the finest show I know

- It's coming near

- It's coming near, it's coming near

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