Salmon Fishing In The Yemen Page #7

A new paper, perhaps?

No, I just know it.

You just know it. I see.

Faith, Dr. Alfred.

Damn it. Yes, all right, then, faith.

So?

They're alive.

That hurts!

Sorry, sweetie.

- Mrs. Maxwell?

- What?

Amazing news.

One of the officers presumed dead,

Captain Robert Mayers, has been found alive.

- Good.

- Yes, we're very pleased.

Yes, very good.

It's very good news for the family.

And his girlfriend, Ms. Chetwode-Talbot.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Who else knows about this?

You're the first to know.

Right, keep it that way.

Total press embargo. Do you understand?

- Yes, Mrs. Maxwell.

- That salmon fishing thing.

Is that still happening?

As far as I'm aware.

- It is?

- Yes.

- Yemen?

- Yes.

Perfect.

Yes, this is all coming together very nicely.

I intended to create a small miracle.

Something to glorify God

and bring our tribes together.

Sometimes I wonder if we haven't

created something that glorifies man.

It is a very fine line.

Hubris, Dr. Alfred.

Hubris.

- It's nice here.

- Beautiful.

You know, Fred, this project,

it saved me. I think.

You know, with everything that happened.

So those farmed fish had better run.

- I believe they will.

- You do?

Yes, I believe that it's in the very core

of their being to head upstream

even if they never have,

even if the parent fish never have.

Look at this.

Look at that.

Mary said something about me.

She said that I was genetically programmed

to return to a dull pedestrian life with her.

That it was in my DNA.

Do you think that you are?

No. No, I belong here. I always have done.

- Harriet.

- Yes.

I was wondering about you and me.

The theoretical possibility in the same way

as a manned mission to Mars

is a theoretical possibility.

Obviously.

Or salmon fishing in the Yemen.

Yes.

- Yes?

- Yes.

I just need a little time.

Of course, of course. All the time you want.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Mr. Foreign Secretary.

- Brian Fleet.

The great fisherman.

The great...

Well, it has been a little while, to be honest.

A bit rusty, you know.

Some skills are never forgotten.

Please, follow this man to your tent.

I shall join you shortly.

What have you been saying?

Fishing's the last thing anyone's

gonna be interested in, trust me.

Get ready for the photo op of a lifetime,

Sonny Jim.

N-S-R. No salmon required.

Is that a Woolly Jones?

No, this is a new one I've invented.

IS it?

What's it called?

This one is called

the Chetwode-Talbot Beauty.

That's very nice.

It's true.

You're not being funny?

No, I don't have a sense of humor,

as you recall.

That is true.

- Beautiful.

- Yes, she is.

Here.

Thank you.

Don't you think we should be

doing something, Fred? Preparing?

L am preparing-

Well, for the whole thing, you know.

Everything's done, Harriet, it's fine.

Just relax.

Did you just...

Dr. Alfred Jones just told me to relax.

What is the world coming to?

Oh, my God.

Harriet.

Right, Harriet and Robert...

Right, okay. Shut up, hacks.

No military stuff. It's classified.

Anyway, I don't think you'd understand it.

The only thing you need to know

is that this man, Captain Mayers here,

is a war hero.

Human interest stuff only. Sir.

Harriet, can you tell us how it feels?

It feels like it's a...

It's a... It's a shock, but it's wonderful.

Please can we have a kiss?

Go on. Come on.

I am sorry, my friend.

No- No, it's- - -

It's a miracle.

Indeed.

Nevertheless, I'm sorry.

All right, gentlemen, gentlemen,

I think that's all.

A little privacy for the couple, please.

I'd just like to say

that the British government

is proud to have played

a small but significant part

in this extraordinary reunion

of Harriet and Captain Mayers.

That's what we're here for.

This is strange.

Bad strange?

No, good strange.

Do you mind if we don't...

No, of course not.

There's no rush.

Will you just hold me?

How did you get caught up in this, H?

Salmon fishing out here? It's ridiculous.

Well, you never know with the sheikh.

I expect there will be a six-star hotel

and a golf course before you know it.

That's not his style at all.

Don't you believe it.

He's gotta make his money back somehow.

They're no fools, these Arabs.

You don't sleep, either?

No, not much.

Well...

At least there's no bloody journos

around at this time, anyway.

You've been very good to Harriet, Fred.

I appreciate it.

I love her.

Yeah, she's great.

She's really great.

No.

I love her.

Does she love you?

I don't know now.

Yesterday, you weren't alive.

Well, I apologize for

not being dead in a ditch.

I don't think I can accept your apology.

Is that a joke?

Yes, yes, sort of. I'm not...

I've never been very good at jokes.

It's all right, Robert. Really.

It's all right.

The day has arrived.

Before the dam, this was a dry riverbed.

And now, as you all can see, we have water.

And today, we hope we shall discover

the one missing thing.

So, thank you, one and all, for coming

as not one of you, not even my dear self,

knows if this curious experiment of mine

will actually work.

It better had bloody work.

Doesn't matter if it works or not, dolly.

All that matters is you.

Fishing on Sky tonight with our war hero.

- I haven't done this in years.

- For God's sake.

There are 10,000 fish in there.

If you can't hook one of them,

you can just flip off back to Transport.

My intention is to color this desert in green.

Make an agricultural industry for my people,

and the sons and daughters of my people

for generations to come.

- Right on cue.

- So here we are,

Muslims, Christians and the odd heathen.

We are all gathered here in an act of faith.

And why not?

And now, the moment

that we are all waiting for,

the fruits of all our efforts.

The moment of truth.

Open the sluices.

Where's it going?

It's going the wrong way.

It's heading downstream.

Wait a minute.

It's turned around. Wait. Wait, wait.

- Look, they're going upstream.

- Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

Oh, my God, they're running. Fred, look.

Look!

- They're running, Fred!

- They're running!

Blondie. Come down here, come on.

Come down here now.

Look, we ought to get a picture of him

with the sheikh.

- It's working, Your Excellency.

- It is.

They are running upstream, look!

Let's go fishing, Dr. Alfred.

Turn it on, dolly.

I need to get further out.

For God's sakes. Come on, off you go!

Have you got that?

Yes, Mrs. Maxwell.

But can we get them closer together?

God, I'll give it a go. Robert, darling.

Can you come... Can you turn around a bit?

I'm worried about

what he's doing with his rod.

Lovely. And, Brian,

just a nice smile, that would be good.

Did you get that?

God, he's useless, isn't he?

More fun without waders, Dr. Alfred.

Yes.

I think I caught one, Dr. Alfred.

It's a beauty, Your Excellency.

Look out behind you!

Your Excellency, behind you!

Step UP-

No, you first!

I repay my debts, Dr. Alfred.

- Okay. I'll pull you up. After...

- Okay.

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