Salmon Fishing In The Yemen Page #6

They have been for some time.

Mary's in Geneva. I'm here.

The koi carp are alone in Surrey.

We got married very young.

I'm sorry, I didn't...

I didn't really know things were hard.

No, don't apologize. There's always hope.

For me and for you.

Do you know,

I can't even remember what he looks like.

Not exactly.

But I'm stuck,

and I can't move on.

Does that make any sense?

Yes. Totally.

I feel a bit like I've been stuck for years.

Yes, but you can move on.

Well, I suppose in theory.

You should be happy, Fred.

I knew you'd have a pond.

The traitor has had his chance.

You know what to do.

Do not fail us.

I think the idea of taking

Scottish salmon to a foreign country

is absolutely absurd.

These fish have been running these

rivers for tens of thousands of years.

I've fished the rivers of Scotland all my life.

Yes, Prime Minister.

It would appear that the gentle fisherfolk

are not so effing gentle after all.

...rape and pillage of our national rivers...

What, ditch the whole thing?

No. No, no, no, Prime Minister.

No, we mustjust find the fish

somewhere bloody else.

Your turrets are blocking my reception.

Well, I'm terribly sorry about that, madam.

If you'd care to follow me, please.

Mrs. Maxwell.

- Pleasure to meet you.

- It's an honor.

Happy birthday, Patricia.

Yes, we could do with

a few more like you in Cabinet.

Very good, Your Excellency.

I'm grateful, indeed, that you could

spare some time for our little project.

Yes. Well, we have gone out on

a bit of a limb for you, Your Excellency,

but the Prime Minister does love his fishing.

- Really?

- Yes. Rod's never out of his hand.

Anyway, down to business.

The fish. The salmon.

We're not gonna get it out of British waters.

There's a bloody big fuss about it,

as no doubt you've heard.

Don't know what it is about fishing.

Anyway, no-goer.

- Yes, but I thought...

- However,

I have solved your problem.

See? There must be thousands

in this one alone.

This guy's got four fish farms

up and down the coast.

Stocks all the Tescos.

Right under your nose.

These fish were bred for the dinner table.

It's barbaric.

They've never run in their lives.

Neither have their forebears

for two generations.

Why would they run for us?

...the difference in these salmon...

We'd open the sluices

and they would just drift off downstream

never to be seen again.

Well, get a couple of days fishing out of it,

then just re-stock or whatever the word is.

Seems to be no shortage of them.

...In transit for the supermarkets.

These fish will never run.

They're just not right.

Not right?

Well, a fish is a fish is a fish, isn't it?

No. You see, Mrs. Maxwell, I have a vision.

Tired, bloated pretenders

are not part of this vision.

Well, unfortunately,

Her Majesty's Government also has a vision,

and that vision is farmed fish or no fish.

Then I must thank you

for your precious time.

And decline.

No advisers, either.

Back at your desk on Monday, Fred.

Well, in that case, I resign.

Resignation accepted.

- Thank you.

- Pleasure.

So, this leaves us with what?

Well, with no salmon.

We must have faith, Dr. Alfred.

Well, that's a very laudable sentiment,

Your Excellency,

but we're running out of time.

Can't catch faith with a fishing rod.

Hello, Fred.

Sheikh Muhammed bin Zaidi bani Tihama!

Are you okay? Are you okay?

I didn't think he looked right, that man.

And he pulled out a gun! Are you all right?

- Yes.

- Are you sure?

Yes.

Thank you. Thank you, Dr. Alfred.

Thank you very much.

Don't be silly. Don't be silly.

It was only a cast, really.

A very good cast.

An essential cast, one might say.

Yes, I suppose one might say that.

- Here.

- My God, Fred. Are you all right?

Yeah, yeah. It was very quick.

It was over in a flash, really.

How did you do that?

I did a right-handed snake roll. Did I get him?

Yes, it was extraordinary.

- Are you all right?

- Yes, thank you very much.

Please, continue your work

as if nothing had happened.

Of course, of course.

I owe you my life.

No. Please, come on. Anyone would have...

This is not one of those

British metaphors, Dr. Alfred.

The debt will be repaid.

- Bye, now.

- Goodbye.

Bye.

In response to the Right

Honorable Member's question

of the 7th of last month,

the Ministry of Defense can now confirm

that an engagement by British Special Forces

against known terrorists

did occur on the 13th of September.

The details of this operation are classified.

However, I am at liberty to say

that serious casualties

were incurred by the British forces.

I deeply regret to inform the House

that there were no survivors.

An internal investigation is being carried out.

Sorry to wake you up.

- No, don't be.

- It's just...

It's okay.

It's just...

I just never got the chance

to really know him.

Mary?

Fred? There you are.

I had no idea you were...

I got a day off and thought,

"Why not surprise him?"

I've got this wonderful

Swiss mountain Comt

from a little shop round the corner

in Geneva.

Is everything all right, Fred?

Where's your suit and tie? Day off?

I resigned.

Don't be ridiculous.

You've resigned?

What about your pension? It's final salary.

Well, the government pulled out

of the salmon fishing project

and we'd put a lot of time and energy into it.

I didn't want to walk away from that.

Well?

Well, everyone involved.

I'm still being paid,

if that's what you're worried about.

Fitzharris & Price have been more than...

I might have known she'd be involved.

If you're referring to Harriet,

we're working on the project together.

Of course she's involved.

- Harriet?

- What do you mean exactly by that, Mary?

I've seen her photograph

on the Fitzharris & Price website.

You're making a fool of yourself.

Now it's you that's being ridiculous.

Am I'.?

I'm not the one abandoning a decent,

highly respected job

for a joke fishing project

and a short-skirted office girl.

- She's not an office girl.

- What is she, then, Fred? Hey?

Just what is she?

She's a colleague.

- She's a very talented colleague and...

- And?

And a friend! She's just a friend!

Are you in love with her?

I've done nothing, Mary.

I have no expectations.

I didn't ask about your expectations.

I asked if you were in love with her.

This is a mid-life crisis.

It's textbook, it's pathetic.

I'm so sorry, Mary.

You'll be back, Fred. Or you'll try.

Six months and you'll be

begging to be taken back in.

It's in your DNA.

You'd think a bloody scientist

would know that much!

Six months and you'll be

begging to be taken back in.

It's in your DNA.

We don't need native river fish.

We'll be all right with farmed salmon.

I know. I don't much like them, but...

Well, they will run. I know it.

Yes, Your Excellency.

Despite our moral

and philosophical objections,

farmed salmon will run.

I'm absolutely sure of it.

You are tireless, Doctor.

You have uncovered some new research?

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