Sanky Panky Page #3

Let's go, let's get the party started!

Party, party baby!

Party!

Party!

Are we going to party?

A lechosa smoothie...

We don't have that, we have papaya!

Forget it, it gives me acid reflux.

Shot of rum instead to warm me up.

I'm from Moca.

You mean from here?

Sure.

God dam.

Excuse me.

How long have you been

in this business?

I thought you didn't like to talk.

Just a question.

You either answer it or not.

Alright, alright...

I've been in the business for

two years and two months...

Two years?

So I have to take two years of this?

With this heat and this hair?

How come Miguelito did it

in just a weekend?

Is this so hard?

No, one always manages.

What are you looking for?

I don't know...

you just discouraged me.

Someone like...

Well, something like that...

Alright, let's go then.

- Right now?

- Sure let's go.

Alright.

Electric power rarely goes out here.

Just four hours a day.

We even have a subway now.

We've got a subway.

Look, that one doesn't look bad.

There's just one real baseball

team here, the Licey.

The others are just a bunch

of amateur boys...

Look at that, look at that... baby!

Careful, she's a local.

That's why she looks like she does.

And the national bird

here is the chicken.

They even won an election

with the chicken butt...

You know the chicken butt?

See how a macho man works...

Wait, wait... hold it right

there my man!

Let's respect each other...

Come over here.

It doesn't work this way,

not like this.

We firemen can't step

on each other's hoses.

I watched the American for a half

hour and you want her too?

Come back in, nothing happened,

come back...

This beach is full of women,

but you want the one I checked out?

Beat it or I'll have Giuseppe

throw your ass out.

Yes you do, yes you do.

Dam you, I'll slap you.

Stop it my brother.

This woman is mine.

No McGuire, no Sammy Sosa...

Besides, what's baseball

got to do with it?

- That's my woman.

- Stop, listen...

Hold on. I can handle

this by myself.

That woman is mine, mine,

don't you understand?

He's saying that's his wife.

Alright, let's not argue about

two or three wives.

There are enough wives to around...

Alright, I'm sorry... Goodbye wife.

It's on the house.

Don't be nervous,

he's not following you.

Who would've thought he was American?

I thought they were all white.

I would've beaten him up

if you didn't butt in.

His English kind of confused me.

It wasn't all that...

- I'm sorry.

- Don't worry. I'm not cut out for this.

No one is.

Change that mug. It doesn't matter.

You're right.

The first one is just a test.

Watch this man working.

Genaro is coming...

It's always hard in the beginning.

They're just looking for pleasure...

To spend a few days with a dark skinned

guy who shows them a good time.

Take a few pictures with their

friends, to impress them...

That's all.

If I've seen you,

I won't remember you.

The ones who fall in love

and take you back with them.

They don't exist anymore.

But one must insist.

And one must survive.

You see.

Let's keep on surviving...

Hold it a minute.

Alright, here we are.

Be careful madam, don't trip.

Sure. Check in.

We're here to serve you.

Is this your luggage?

Fine, I'll take them for you.

Just these?

I'll be right back.

How may I help you?

Well, just bringing some aunts

who'll spend a few days here.

Aren't you playground chicken?

What? I can't have an aunt like that

just because I wear a chicken suit?

Beat it, go.

Help me out here.

If you help me with the American,

I'm made.

They won't see me back home,

just in pictures walking in the snow.

Help me and I'll take care

of you. Help me.

Alright, let me see what I can do.

That's right.

It's all fine, come this way.

This way. That's it, that's it.

Well as I said, best room in

the hotel, with a beach view.

Yes sir. The three best rooms

in the hotel. Mister?

Genaro, and don't call me mister,

just Don Genaro.

The manager, the director.

Now you know.

All you need.

Just call me through him.

Do you believe in destiny?

Maybe not, cause you Americans

are non believers.

But I do.

I'm the man of your dreams.

This beach would be just swamp

if you weren't here.

I'm a castaway drowning

in my desire to have you.

Birds would have a sore throat

if you weren't here with me.

It would be to have all this, in our home,

with our white and black kids, like me.

Playing in the yard

with a Dalmatian.

Black and white,

to match with the kids.

We were born for each other.

We're like Batman and Robin.

Beauty and the beast.

Pinky and the brain.

Ortega and Gasset.

So?

One doesn't make it

that quick my friend.

I didn't think it would so difficult.

This joint is full of horny old ladies...

What do you want?

They got to have fun.

Sure. They parade themselves around

without a care in the world.

I did see a young woman

who just arrived today.

So beautiful and gorgeous,

blue eyed...

So pretty, she knows no Spanish,

but that's okay...

Is she a blonde?

- Straight short hair?

- Yes, straight short hair.

- White?

- White as milk.

- Looks American?

- Yes, if not, then she's close to that.

And walks around with two

women in their forties?

It looks like they're related...

Behind you...

There they are, look at her,

look at her...

I would marry her with my eyes closed.

Open your eyes.

They spend their lives savings

to spend two weeks here.

I can't believe a woman

like comes here broke.

She needs high maintenance.

In her face you could see she never had

sleepless nights, or a day with no food.

She's gotta be richer than me.

Sure, if you put it that way.

What? What are you thinking?

What are you looking at?

- What are you starring at? What's the matter?

- You're my man. Help me.

- What?

- I told them I was the director.

- You got some guts.

- Give it here. I'll bring it right back.

What you mean director?

Come here. Come here.

Hello my lovelies,

this is a beautiful night.

I'll get you a table,

wait right there.

Put down a banana. Scratch

the beer, just the banana...

Daiquiri, no beer...

Put down a Screwdriver,

the beer's out.

Rum, water...

Banana Caribbean, no beer...

Oh my God with ice...

Alright, beer then...

He's coming.

He went to get us the drinks.

Why are you sad?

Let's change that sad face.

Let's look at the stars.

You two wait for the drinks.

You should start drinking.

Here I am, here I am...

Alright, since we can't understand

each other, let's drink at least.

Now you understand.

Let's toast to happiness,

and the American consulate

Asking God to send me a little angel

to get me out poverty.

And to you, so he may send you a dark

skinned stud, who'll show you a good time.

Now.

Guys can't you go bother

someone else?

Beat it.

She's deaf and dumb and I'm an evangelical.

She can't hear you. Beat it.

Where did we stop? The kiss,

I mean the desire...

Let's see.

That's it.

Now or never Genaro.

No, my people stop that...

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