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Saraband Page #3
I tried to stop her.|She didn't move...
but a message got through|from her body to mine.
It said "I'm leaving...|I'm leaving you".
Then I said, with a voice that was|foreign to me: "Nobody leaves me".
"Nobody leaves me"
"Nobody turns his back on me|and leaves... ".
I sat on the floor and|thought: "It's over".
I shut my eyes and thought:|"Anna's leaving and she won't return".
But then I heard her|going around the kitchen.
She was making coffee.
But she didn't say a word.|Maybe she wanted to sober me up.
She didn't say anything for the rest|of the evening: just kept on sewing.
Anna was the silent type|anyway, she never spoke much.
But we didn't need to speak;|we always knew...
Like a child to his mother:|"I won't do it again".
It's just what I want to say to you,|but it sounds ridiculous.
Anyone can say "I'm sorry",|but it's meaningless.
So no further words|were spoken that night.
It became a...|distant night.
Anna sunk into a deep sleep: I|stayed awake listening to her breathing.
I watched her, a street light|shone through the window.
I gazed at her for a long time and|wondered if she really knew...
how much I loved her.
Between Anna and me it was a question|of belonging, if you know what I mean.
An ownership that was...|a miracle. I know it sounds fatuous.
There's no better word.
I fell asleep as dawn approached,|and when the alarm clock rang,
we got up, had breakfast|and chatted as usual.
I went to a class|and Anna went to the library.
This is an explanation:|not an excuse.
I have no excuses.
If you leave me...
Ill be ruined, or some other|word that doesn't exist.
In due time, you'll have your freedom.|You'll go to the conservatory...
With professional teachers|and a different life.
It'll be different for me also.
These months with you have|been "a state of grace".
For me, that is,|not for you.
It was kind of you|to return so soon.
I don't know what to say.|It's all so complicated.
We don't have to|speak about that.
Sometimes I feel a great|punishment awaits me.
FOUR:
About a week later,|Henrik visits his father.
"Kierkegaard, S.|Or A Fragment of Life"
- Am I interrupting?|- Oh, so it's you.
It's been a long time.
- How are you?|- Well, thank you, and you?
At 60 there's 6 things wrong with you,|at 70, 7 and so on.
It's a good evaluation: Of course,|it depends on your priorities.
- I heard about your ex wife's unexpected visit.|- Typical Marianne.
She's always known I|hate improvisation.
- Maybe I can see her.|- She's gathering strawberries.
I don't know if you'll be|here when she returns.
- I don't mean to disturb you.|- Thanks for being considerate.
What do you want?
I need 890,000 kroner.|An advance on my inheritance.
- You need money again.|- I know, I owe you 200,000.
- That you haven't even begun to pay back.|- Don't worry, I'll pay it back.
I'm sure I'll never|see that money again.
It's funny to|consider it a "loan".
If humiliating me amuses you,|let's not forget...
I'm not paying rent|on the lake house.
We've been there for five months|and you haven't seen a cent.
But you were able|to buy a new car.
It's a loan.|The owner is away.
When he returns in October,|I'll be without a car.
- How's the book going?|- Well, thank you.
That's a thorough answer.
I've been here ten minutes,|letting you humiliate me.
If I didn't need the money,|I'd have left long ago.
You can leave now.
It's not for me.|It's for Karin.
I see...|Marianne told me you two argued.
Are you trying to make her stay?
Do you think she'll accept a bribe?
I wonder how Anna|was able to stand you.
Don't bring Anna into this.
Don't you dare mention|Anna with that mouth.
I like you more or dislike you|less when you use that tone.
There's a healthy dose of|hate in your banalities.
It's like this:
There's a cello I can buy Karin;|an 1815 Fagnola.
It's an excellent instrument,|almost like a Guarneri.
Karin has a special talent,|she could become a great musician.
I took care of her instruction,
but her talent calls for more.|Like her cello.
but she'll audition|for the conservatory.
Are you sure it's good?
It wouldn't be the first|time they fool you.
It has an authenticity certificate
- and the seller is decent.|- Is that why it's so cheap?
He's old and sick and can't|take care of it any more.
- He said it's perfect for her.|- How touching.
Dad, where does all this|hostility come from?
Speak for yourself. When you were|18 or 19 I tried to approach you.
You had been very ill and your|mother wanted us to talk.
I told you I knew I had been a bad father,|but I wanted to make it better.
And you screamed.|Yes, screamed:
Bad father?!|You never were a father!
Then you said you could|do without my help.
Honest hate must be respected;|I respect it.
But I couldn't care less if|you hate me. You hardly exist.
If it wasn't for Karin,|who thank God is like her mother,
you wouldn't exist at all for me.
There's no hostility here, I swear.
Give me the name and number|of the cello owner and I'll see.
- Here you are.|- Thank you.
- What's your answer?|- I'll let you know.
Can I go?
I'm leaving.
- Can I just say one thing?|- Only if you must.
That tale of an argument|fifty years ago in no excuse.
Poor Anna.
Will you hit me now?
FIVE:
I hope I'm not interrupting.
No, I've just finished.|I practice in the mornings.
The organist is expecting:|I'm replacing her.
- I thought you played the cello.|- I have an organ diploma.
In my time,|it was smart to have one.
There were a lot of churches|and few orchestras.
What were you playing?
A Bach sonata for a trio.|First movement.
- It was beautiful.|- This is a unique organ from 1728.
Nobody knows how it ended up here,|in the middle of nothing.
A few weeks ago, Karin and I|played a concert here.
It was almost full.
- Will you be playing any more concerts?|- I don't have the time.
Karin has to prepare her audition|and I have to finish my book.
Yes, I'm writing a book about|Bach's Passion of St. John.
I met Karin.|They say she's talented.
She's considered exceptional,|and not only by her dad.
- Are you her teacher?|- That's the way it's turned out.
In the conservatory, she'll|have the best European teachers.
- Won't it be difficult to let her go?|- Yes.
You could say that.
- Do you love her a lot?|- Yes.
- I'm sorry.|- No, it's all right.
- Karin is like Anna.|- She doesn't look like her.
What's wrong?
Whenever I mention Anna,|I cry. That's the way it is.
I can't help it.
She's been dead for two years and|it still hurts just the same.
That's the way it is.
Life itself has become a ritual.
I don't know, I can't find|words to describe it.
I've become a handicapped person.
Just like that.|Handicapped.
Karin is everything that|lends sense into my life.
And so...
It wouldn't have much|sense without her.
I think a lot about|death these days.
I think:
One day I'll walk through|the forest to the river.
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"Saraband" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/saraband_17455>.
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