Satan Met a Lady Page #3

Driver, forget the Union Depot.

Go to the Carondelet Apartments.

I didn't expect you.

I noticed you weren't exactly

waiting around for me.

No. I mean, I expected

to see Mr. Ames this morning.

Then you're on your way down

to the morgue now?

- Oh, no.

- Well, that's where he is.

Just temporarily, of course,

until they bury him.

- I knew.

- Sure you did.

You didn't really want to see either of us

or you wouldn't be running out

of your hotel.

Oh, I had to leave there. There was a man.

There probably always will be men

where you are, child.

He came right up to my room

when I came in and followed me in.

Oh, I had the most terrible time

trying to get rid of him.

And then he kept phoning me all night,

wanting to come up and see me,

saying he was desperately

in love with me at first sight.

Oh, I can understand that, but not why

you didn't phone the house detective.

Well...

- Well, I couldn't.

- No? Why not, precious?

You see, the man

who was forcing his attentions upon me,

well, he was the house detective.

- Yes, I guess all us detectives like you.

- Do you?

Sure. Ames liked you, he's gone.

The hotel detective liked you, you're gone.

Maybe you and I could get someplace.

Yes, maybe the third time would work

a charm. I do need somebody.

Probably me.

Just put them right down here.

Nice place.

And what a beautiful view

from these windows.

The lights must be gorgeous at night.

You never realize how big a city is

until you see it from

way up high like this.

You aren't exactly the person

you pretended to be, are you?

I'm not quite sure I know what you mean.

We'll never get anyplace

if you insist on playing innocent.

All right. I won't play innocent anymore.

Good. Now, let's both quit acting

as though the other were an imbecile.

That story you told us yesterday

wasn't quite true.

Then you didn't believe it?

You gave us more money

than you would have if it had been true.

- But enough to make it all right.

- Mr. Shane, I...

Now, tell us,

without any phonus bolognus,

why you wanted Farrow shadowed.

Well, I wanted to know

whom he was meeting,

what he was doing in this town

and things like that.

You see, he was supposed to be

helping me and I didn't quite trust him.

Now, what was he supposed

to be helping you do?

Well, I'm afraid I can't tell you that.

You look lovely.

You'll make a charming hostess

when the police visit you.

Oh, but Mr. Shane.

Mr. Shane, they don't have

to know about me, do they?

- You will help me, won't you?

- How about you helping me?

Oh, you really do look gorgeous.

Tell me, did your pal Farrow

kill my partner Ames?

Why, yes, certainly.

That was Farrow's old Webley gun

the papers said was by Ames' body.

- All right, who got Farrow?

- I don't know.

Your enemies or some

of his own personal enemies?

His, I hope, but I'm not sure.

You haven't told me a thing

I didn't already know.

I guess I just came along for the ride.

Listen, I know I have no right

to ask you to help me,

but I might be able to pay for it.

- Of course, money does make a difference.

- How much?

- $500 to start.

- All right.

- Somebody robbed me!

- Me.

While you were in there fixing yourself

all up to vamp me into helping you,

- I got the $500 we've been talking about.

- Did you?

Get going, Mr. Shane. Your taxi's ticking.

Teach me how to do that,

and I'll knock that $500 off.

You better go out back

and get the fire hose

if you want to put out that seaweed.

Here, try one of these.

Get funny with me and I'll have to fog you.

Fog me?

That's what you've been trying

to do, isn't it?

Following me around,

smoking these smelly stogies.

I've got what it takes to do it.

If you're going to keep shadowing me,

you'll have to smoke something better.

- I'm telling you, mister.

- And I'm telling you.

If you're going to tag around after me,

you'll have to quit wearing

that monkey cap.

- Good morning, gentlemen.

- How are you?

Say, tell me, what do you know

about this Farrow fella?

- He's dead.

- Yeah, we heard that rumor, too.

Yes, sir. It's a good thing

they don't do that to all our guests.

Ruin our business.

- How long did he live here?

- Three days, poor fellow.

- Did he ever have any friends visit him?

- He didn't seem to have any in town.

- Except one lady, a blonde.

- Blonde's been the death of many a man.

Yes, sir. You'll be surprised, gentlemen,

but I remember her name.

Miss Valerie Purvis, Brandon Hotel.

Operator, get me the Brandon Hotel.

She used to phone him,

and then he'd meet her here.

And that's what she did last night.

Hello, Brandon Hotel?

This is Police Detective Lieutenant Pollock.

I wanna check on one of your customers.

A girl named Valerie Purvis.

- Yeah, thanks.

- Oh, she seemed so nice.

I'd hate to think

that she was connected with it.

Yeah? She did, huh?

All right, thanks a lot.

She was connected with it, all right.

She checked out this morning.

Don't take it too hard, baby.

Say, are you sure

that nobody else ever called on him?

That's all. Oh, wait a minute. Yes, sir.

There was another one,

a big, tall Englishman.

- Got change for a five?

- Oh, I think so.

Shane is coming.

- There you are.

- Yeah.

Hello!

Good afternoon.

I just came round to apologize.

And very decent of you it is. For what?

For doing what I did to your flat.

Rather messy, isn't it? May I come in?

- At the risk of being carried out?

- Oh, that's just a minor risk

compared to some of the dangers

I've had to go through,

and the adventures

in which I'm presently engaged.

- You'd want a whisky and soda.

- I'd like a drop of sherry if you don't mind.

- Sorry. I haven't any.

- What? No sherry?

This is delicious, old chap.

You should try it.

I'd like to have some champagne.

Have I got any?

No, you haven't.

Have you got a glass, old boy?

- Yes.

- Thanks.

- This is jolly, isn't it?

- Oh, you found it.

No, not yet.

I was looking for a certain horn.

Oh, you mean one of these things...

Yes, rather like that.

They've pointed the finger at me

for a lot of dirty tricks,

but never for a crime

like playing the saxophone.

Let's be serious, Mr. Shane, shall we?

Actually, I tried to get the horn

from you without paying for it.

Yes, that's natural.

And from your point of view, sensible.

Say, it's wonderful sherry.

Well, having failed to rob you of it,

I suppose I'll have to pay you

for return of the horn.

- Should we say $2,000?

- Say $5,000 and you've said something.

Very well, $5,000.

You could offer me a million

for a purple elephant,

- but that wouldn't mean a thing.

- Oh, I see, yes.

You need a retainer.

Oh, I beg your pardon, nothing personal.

- Shall we say $500?

- $500 settles it.

Very well.

I beg your pardon.

That's the right pocket.

Now, you'll hand me over

the horn, eh, old boy?

- No, old boy.

- But you've got to. I just paid you for it.

There are others after it, aren't there?

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