Saturday Morning Mystery Page #6

Synopsis: A dark and bloody parody about a Scooby-Doo-like team of paranormal investigators and their devoted dog. With the crew nearing bankruptcy, they're hired to get to the bottom of a series of spooky events at the remote Kyser mansion, an old religious school plagued by rumors of satanism and ritualistic murder. They're experts at debunking ghost stories, so they get right to work, and despite the ominous signs that this isn't just another greedy land-developer or bitter landlord, they set up to stay the night. When the sun goes down, the truth comes out: this place might actually be haunted...by sadistic spirits or something much, much deadlier.
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Director(s): Spencer Parsons
Production: Xlrator Media
 
IMDB:
4.5
R
Year:
2012
83 min
Website
61 Views


What the f***?

Okay, um, I'm gonna

go call that cop.

You... You gotta

check him for keys.

Sorry, man.

(CHAD VOMITING)

(LINE RINGING)

OPERATOR:
Customer

service, this is David.

Our records show a past due

balance on your phone.

No.

But if you have

a major credit card,

I'd be

happy to take that.

Okay, I'm trying

to reach 911.

Um, I'm sorry, 911 doesn't appear

to be the number you called.

No. Okay,

I'm aware of that.

I'm just trying

to reach the police.

Mm-hmm.

Then... then

can you just...

Then can you just

patch me through to 911?

I would really need

some form of payment.

Get his back pocket.

(GWEN GROANS)

(CHAD VOMITS)

My records show that you

are over $300 past due.

I'm very sorry.

Can you please just

put me through to 911?

I can take

your information

and try to get you at

the front of the line.

I cannot do that right now!

It is an emergency!

Just please,

can you get me 911?!

(GWEN SCREAMS)

(GROWLING)

(HAMLET BARKING)

Th... There's...

There's someone

at the house!

Guys, there's someone

at the house!

Motherf***er! Hey!

Hamlet!

Hamlet!

They went upstairs!

He's upstairs!

Guys, he's upstairs!

(HAMLET BARKING)

(BARKING)

Hamlet!

NANCY:
Hamlet!

FLOYD:
Hamlet?

(BARKING)

Hamlet!

(BARKING)

Hamlet!

(BARKING)

(BARKING GROWS LOUDER)

(BARKING GROWS FAINTER)

F***!

Do you see him?

CHAD:
No!

Hamlet!

(BARKING)

GWEN:
Hamlet?

(BARKING)

(BARKS)

No, come on, Hamlet!

(BARKING)

Gwen!

Nancy?

CHAD:
Gwen?

FLOYD:
Hamlet!

CHAD:
Nancy!

NANCY:
Floyd? Hamlet?

CHAD:
Hamlet?

Chad?

(DISTANT BARKING)

FLOYD:
Nancy?

CHAD:
Gwen?

GWEN:
Floyd?

NANCY:
Hamlet!

Hamlet!

Hamlet.

NANCY:
Floyd?

(HAMLET GROWLS)

Chad!

Chad?

FLOYD:
Gwen?

(HAMLET YELPS)

NANCY:
Gwen?

GWEN:
Oh!

Shh!

F***ing hell.

(HAMLET SNARLING)

(THUD, HAMLET WHINES)

CHAD:
Hamlet!

GWEN:
Chad?

Hamlet!

Hamlet!

I swear to f***ing God,

he came in this room.

(HAMLET WHINING)

(DOOR CREAKS, SLAMS)

NANCY:

That didn't sound good.

Tell me

you shut this door.

No.

FLOYD:
F***, man.

No, no, no.

(CHAD SHOUTS)

FLOYD:
What the f***, man?

What the f***?

It's f***ing blood.

CHAD:
Mother... Get him!

GWEN:
Chad!

(NANCY CRIES OUT)

What the f***, man.

Unh! You killed

my f***ing dog?!

What the f*** is wrong

with you?!

F*** you! F***!

You sh*t! F***!

(CHOKING)

You want to die?

Die!

GWEN:
Chad, stop!

Chad, stop!

(SCREAMING)

GWEN:
Chad!

(SCREAMING)

Waah!

(DOORKNOB RATTLING,

ALL SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

(GWEN SCREAMS)

(MAN SHOUTING

INDISTINCTLY)

FLOYD:
Come on!

GWEN:
No, Chad!

Get in there!

Get the dresser,

get the dresser!

F***! F***! F***!

(GWEN WHIMPERING)

Get down. Shh, shh!

Turn your lights off,

turn your lights off!

(MAN HOWLING OUTSIDE)

(FOOTSTEPS)

Shh.

(WHISPERING)

What the f***, man.

(THUD)

(RAPID FOOTSTEPS)

(MAN HOWLS)

(FOOTSTEPS)

(WHIMPERING AND CRYING)

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

(WOMAN'S VOICE)

FLOYD:

What the f***...

(MAN AND WOMAN SPEAKING

INDISTINCTLY)

FLOYD:
(WHISPERS)

F***in' prick.

(STOMPING)

(MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

(MAN AND WOMAN MOANING)

NANCY:
(WHISPERING)

It's okay.

It's okay, it's okay,

it's okay, it's okay.

(MAN AND WOMAN SHOUTING)

FLOYD:
F***, man.

(COFFEE SPLASHES)

(THUD IN HALLWAY)

Someone's outside.

NANCY:
Yeah, what is it?

(WOMAN SHOUTS

IN HALLWAY)

(HURRIED FOOTSTEPS)

(HURRIED FOOTSTEPS)

It's that cop.

Help me open it.

(BOTH STRAINING)

FLOYD:
Shh, shh!

We gotta get out.

We gotta get

out of here.

We gotta get out.

We gotta get out.

We're gonna get out,

We're gonna get out.

(STRAINS)

Shh, shh, shh!

FLOYD:
No!

(WHISPERING) What the

f*** are you doing?

Okay.

FLOYD:
Okay, okay.

We're gonna

get out of here.

We're gonna get out.

We're gonna get out.

We're gonna get out.

FLOYD:
Gwen,

give me that ax.

GWEN:
We're gonna get out.

FLOYD:
Gwen, give me

the f***in' ax.

We're gonna get out.

Hey, Gwen.

Come on,

give me the ax.

Okay.

Gwen, give me

the f***ing ax.

Gwen, give him the ax.

Gwen, give me

the f***ing ax.

(PANTING) No.

Gwen. Gwen!

Gwen!

No.

Okay... okay...

Shut the f*** up.

You're gonna get us killed.

Floyd, it's the cop.

(SHOUTING)

NANCY:
No!

(GRUNTING)

F***, man!

Man! F***!

(SCREAMS AND SHOUTS)

Run!

(HOWLING)

Aah!

Aah!

(SHOUTING)

Let me the f*** out!

(MOCK CRYING)

(SCREAMING)

FLOYD:
Nancy!

(COUGHING, GROANING)

(SCREAMING,

CRYING)

F*** you, man!

(GROANING)

(COUGHING)

Nancy!

Floyd! Floyd!

FLOYD:
No! No!

He's taking me!

NANCY:
[sobbing)

I can't get it.

(FLOYD SCREAMING)

F***!

Okay, okay, okay...

FLOYD:
No!

Shh! Gwen! Gwen!

(FLOYD SCREAMING)

I... I need you to help me.

I need you to reach around

and get

the f***ing thing.

Okay? Come on.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

God!

(WHISPERING)

Shh. Quiet.

Let's open it up.

There's a thing up there.

LANCE:

Come on, let's go.

Come with me.

(DISTANT SCREAM)

Where are your friends?

They're dead.

They chopped

his head off.

(DISTANT SCREAM)

Who's that?

Who's in the house?

Ghosts.

He doesn't have a face.

He doesn't have a face.

Shh. Shut up.

(MOANING)

Freeze, muthafucka!

(GUNSHOT)

(SCREAMS, GUNSHOT)

(HOWL)

I got him.

Let's go

out the side door.

NANCY:

Do you have something?

(GRUNTING)

Get back.

No, wait.

Did you call

for backup?

Yeah,

it's gonna be awhile.

(DISTANT SCREAM)

GWEN:
Okay.

Come on! Hurry up!

(MAN SCREAMING)

LANCE:
Aah! Aah!

(MAN GRUNTS AND HOWLS)

Let's go.

F***. All right.

Let's go.

No, we can't. We can't.

Let's go.

No, Gwen!

Okay, no,

we gotta go back.

We gotta go.

We have to check on him.

We have to go see

if he's okay.

Nancy, he's not okay.

No, you don't know that.

Okay? Nobody's okay.

Gwen, you don't know that.

He's not okay.

I can't just

let this happen again.

I can't let him just die.

I can't

do this again.

You're gonna die.

Don't go back.

Listen.

Okay, I know you're

not gonna go, all right?

It's okay.

You don't have to go.

You stay here, and you go

find help, all right?

It's okay.

Go find help.

He said there's gonna

be backup soon.

It's okay.

Everything's gonna be fine, all right?

Don't leave me.

Everything's gonna be fine.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I have to go.

I have to go!

Nancy, no!

It's okay.

(DRIPPING)

(DISTANT SHRIEK)

(DISTANT SCREAMS)

(WOMAN SINGING)

(MAN SCREAMING)

(MAN SCREAMING)

(WOMAN SINGING)

(LANCE GROANING

AND GASPING)

(WOMAN SHOUTS)

(MAN SCREAMS)

(WOMAN SHRIEKS)

(MAN SCREAMS)

What the f***?!

(INDISTINCT VOICES)

LANCE:
F*** you!

(WOMAN SHOUTS)

(GRUNTING)

(HOWLING)

(MAN'S DISTANT HOWLING)

NANCY:
F***!

(WHISPERING)

Jesus Christ, Gwen!

I almost f***ing shot you!

Okay...

I had to find you.

It's gotta be

the two of us.

Nancy, I think

I solved the mystery.

It's the Kysers.

No, that's crazy.

They're dead.

No, they're not.

They're dead.

Mona and Frankie.

It has to be

the Kyser children.

Remember how Officer Lance

said that people from the county

were always trying to

take away the Kysers' house?

NANCY:
Right, so they

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Kat Candler

Kat Candler is an American independent filmmaker. She has credits as a director, writer, producer and film editor. Kat Candler graduated in Creative Writing at Florida State University and now lives in Austin, Texas. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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