Sausage Party Page #8
- Now, stand up.
- Ow!
Turn right.
Left. Ha-ha-ha!
Yeah!
Sausages and buns, let's party!
Yee-ha!
Hyah! Hyah!
Ah! Call 911! OW! Aah!
Huge mistake, bros.
Aah! Wha...?
Oh, no. Oh!
- Brenda!
- Ha-ha-ha.
Ow! Aah!
Frank!
- Barry!
- Aah!
Oh, so now you're gonna
come at me, bro?
Oh, I'm coming at you. Yaah! Oh!
Okay, we got him, easy now.
Easy now.
It's hard when your head's up my ass
and you're yanking on the scrot.
Look, sausage, I relish the fact...
that you mustard the strength
to ketchup to me.
Yeah, that's right. Shut your mouths.
Ha-ha-ha. I sucked a juicy box's dick,
and I'm shoved up a god's a**hole.
And this is the weirdest thing
that I've done so far, bro.
- Aah!
- Oh, my God! Frank!
I'll tell you who eats sh*t;
Gods do, bro.
I'm a f***ing god!
- Goodbye, little sausage.
- Aah!
Oh, Frank.
Hey, bun. Need a boost?
Help me!
Perhaps I could be of some assistance.
Matter cannot be created or destroyed,
human.
You have made a fatal error
in judgment.
Let me educate you.
F***!
What's happening out there?
Now!
So long, a**hole!
Yeah!
It's over. We won.
We f***ing won! Ha-ha-ha!
Yes!
Yeah!
Ew.
- We did it.
- We did. So...
- So, what do we do now?
- Whatever we want. Heh.
What do you want?
Let's just say, what I want involves
much more than;
Just the tips
Just the tips
What I want is much more than just
The tips
With these
Hungry eyes
One look at you
And I can't disguise
I've got
Oh! Oh, Frank!
You know, I'm very conflicted about
how I'm supposed to feel watching this.
Then don't just watch.
Wait a second. What are you doing?
I was just told...
that I am getting zero bottles
of extra-virgin olive oil for eternity.
- Oh, Frank!
- So, maybe, you know...
Kiss me hard on the mouth,
why don't you?
You wanna kiss me, motherf***er?
Let me tell you a little secret.
I'm going to f*** the f*** out of you.
Kiss it, Frank. Kiss me there!
Oh, yeah, Frank, that's it.
Oh, yeah, it's dinnertime.
Yo. I'm actually over here
jerking off with these fellas.
- Once you go taco, you never go "back-o."
- Oh!
Jesus f***ing Christ!
Hey, fellas.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
Pretty f***ing sure I am.
Oh, sh*t. Now it's on.
Just as bad as I do
Yeah!
- Oh!
- Excuse me. Excuse me. Can I get by?
Oh, wow.
Yeah, I just came over here.
I couldn't help but notice...
you're a little smushed or something.
You have a kind of abnormality.
- Did you get...? Somebody sit on you?
- Yeah.
I got smushed.
You know, I love the way your face
just kind of gives up halfway down.
Yeah, cracker!
Take that Grit dick, b*tch!
You like Grits in your ass, cracker?
Say my name!
It's Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol...
I can't breathe! Stop it!
What's the safety word?
Molasses. Molasses.
Oh, yeah. F*** you!
Yeah. That is all right.
Want me to be a Hamburglar?
Robble, robble. Robble, robble.
I'm filling you. I'm filling you.
- I'm blowing my f***ing load. Good God.
- Oh.
"Aah!
- Oh!
Oh, f***!
- Oy vey!
- My dick is drained.
That was amazing.
It was okay. But you were amazing.
I can't believe we were saving ourselves
for the Great Beyond when...
- It was in front of us the whole time.
- It was in front of us the whole time.
I love you, Brenda.
I love you, Frank.
You know, my boner still hasn't
gone down. ls that bad?
Bad for my a**hole,
I'll tell you that much.
Seriously, though,
your recovery time is off the charts.
Guys! Oh, my God.
You have to come with me right now.
Hello there, little sausage.
You and your friends
have accomplished the impossible.
And for that, I give you mad props.
But now that you have shattered
one truth, it is time for you to learn...
that we are not real!
Booga booga booga.
While tripping balls, Firewater and I...
made an important
metaphysical breakthrough.
The world is a f***ing illusion, bro.
Our lives are being manipulated
for the entertainment of monsters.
Twisted, tasteless, juvenile monsters!
Puppet masters in another dimension.
We're something called...
cartoons.
- Oh!
- Wha...?
You, Frank, are the plaything of a
demented, schlubby Jewish actor named:
Seth Rog-An.
Wait? I'm Jewish?
So who am I?
You are the toy of a more talented
and celebrated actor named;
Ed-ward Nor-ton.
Ed-ward Nor-ton?
What kind of parent gives their kid
a stupid c*nt name like that?
Worry not, friends. I have a solution.
I have invented a Stargate device that
will allow us to travel to their dimension.
F***, yeah, he did. And it's dope.
This guy's smart. I mean like,
f***-a-guy smart. Know what I'm saying?
Yeah, you do.
We're gonna go
to this other dimension...
and cut the strings, once and for all!
Anybody want a hit before we do this?
You ready to get baked and walk
through Gum's Stargate with me?
As long as we're together,
I'm ready to get baked and do anything.
Jeremiah was a bull frog
Was a good friend of mine
I never understood
A single word he said
But I helped him drink his wine
And he always had
Some mighty fine wine
Singin'
Joy to the world
All the boys and girls, now
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me
If I were the king of the world
Tell you what I'd do
I'd throw away the cars
And the bars and the wars
Make sweet love to you
Singin' now
Joy to the world
All the boys and girls
Joy to the fishes
In the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me
You know I love the ladies
Love to have my fun
I'm a high night flier
And a rainbow rider
A straight-shootin' son of a gun
I said a straight shootin' son of a gun
Joy to the world
All the boys and girls
Joy to the fishes
In the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me
Joy to the world
All the boys and girls
Joy to the fishes
In the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me
Joy to the world
All the boys and girls
Joy to the world
Joy to you and me
Joy to the world
All the boys and girls
Joy to the fishes
In the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me
Oh, yeah
Joy to the world
Yeah, yeah
All the boys and girls
Joy to the fishes
In the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me
Joy to the world
All the boys and girls
Joy to the fishes
In the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me
Joy to the world
All the boys and girls
Joy to the fishes
In the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me
Joy to the world
Dear gods
You're so divine
In each and every way
To you we pray
Dear gods
We pledge our love
To you forever more
We always felt
We had a special bond
Take us to the Great Beyond
Where we're sure
Nothing bad happens to food
Once we're out
The sliding doors
Things will all be grand
We will live our dreams together
In the Promised Land
The gods control our fate
So we all know we're in good hands
We're super sure
There's nothing shitty
Waiting for us
In the Great Beyond
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"Sausage Party" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 20 Jan. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/sausage_party_17497>.
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