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- That's correct.

- Oh, really?

- Congratulations. Well done.

- I hate this show,

Coming up on Lifetime,

Valerie Bertinelli

stars in Bitter Harvest--

a sensitive portrayal

of one woman's struggle with cancer.

This Iooks good,

There was a feeling

of twilight in the air...

...all honeydew and lilac.

God wasn't just

smiling down on me...

...he was jumping up and cheering.

And then, well...

...I thought I was pregnant.

I'd been throwing up every morning

and hadn't had my period

in two months.

So I took a home pregnancy test.

What happened?

I found out I wasn't pregnant.

It was the cancer.

She found all that out

from a home pregnancy test?

Valerie's struggles made me realize

that my problems weren't so bad.

Dean was getting help,

and I still had the Jewels.

I was gonna be okay.

- You work here, too?

- Yeah, I'm saving up for a car,

When I get one I can

come pick you up and stuff,

You okay?

Yeah, it's just really hot in here,

- I'II see you Iater,

- Promise?

PIease Iet it be cancer,

PIease Iet it be cancer,

The test mentions something

about a possible false positive,

Do you have anything

Iater on Monday?

No, no, I can make that,

I have my Ieadership meeting

tonight after work,

- You're not wearing that, are you?

- Why not?

You just can't, Mom,

You're right,

it's too hot for a sweater,

- I'II see you Iater,

- Bye, hon,

Hey, Mary,

Sorry to hear about Dean's faggotry,

- What?!

- See you at P, circle?

Can I talk to you?

What's going on?

You promised me,

It's hard,

But I think this is the only way

we can actually help Dean,

Don't you think?

Come on,

You're not born a gay,

You're born-again,

I don't know

what I think anymore,

I've gotta go,

Wait, Don't you need me

to give you a ride home?

Not today, Hil,

Okay, Well, tonight

at the prayer circle meeting then, okay?

Prayer circle meeting

at my house at 7:00,

I'm conducting it

for Mary's gay boyfriend Dean,

What?

You know where a guy

can get some smokes?

What's the matter?

Scared to be seen

in public with a stripper?

No, Scared of being seen

with a cripple?

I've been seen with worse,

Hilary Faye's gonna freak out

when I'm not there waiting for her,

Who cares?

It's just that I don't

get out much on my own,

- I'm not really a stripper,

- I'm not really a Christian,

So, how did you

end up at American Eagle?

I mean, you're Jewish, right?

Well, after I got expelled

from my Iast school,

it was either here

or home schooling,

I figured I could handle

these freaks better than my parents,

Lucky me,

- Are you playing footsies with me?

- Wheelies,

Hey, isn't that,,,

What is she doing downtown?

There's only one reason Christian girls

come down to the PIanned Parenthood,

- She's planting a pipe bomb?!

- Okay, two reasons,

With Dean?!

I think there's a better chance

of that pipe bomb,

I,,,I should get home,

Yeah, you should,

Sh*t,

F***,

Goddamn,

And we pray for all the perverts, Lord,

but especially for Dean,

whom at this time,

just hasn't found the right girl,

We join together and beg you

to rid him of his unnatural perversions,

May you Iead him

out of the darkness, Lord,

and into your divine Iight,

Amen,

That was good,

That felt really nice,

Thank you so much

for that good prayer,

- Hi, Mary,

- Hi,

How are you? So good to see you,

We've been waiting for you,

We were just finishing up, so if you

have anything else you wanna add,

Jesus is still Iistening,

Jesus isn't Iistening, Hilary Faye,

I did everything I could to save Dean,

and he still ended up at Mercy House,

Let's take a breath--

What can they say and do

that I haven't already done!

Don't embarrass me!

We have to pray about this,

Prayer works!

- It's been medically proven,

- Just Iay off of me, Hilary!

Wait a second,

Give me that,

You could pollute the Jewels

and everything we stand for,

And I can't have that,

Good-bye,

I hope you know

that this is all a waste of time,

I just got off the phone

with Hilary Faye,

Wow! Can she be

an uppity whootie-who,

What's the matter?

Nothing,

Come on,

Why do you think Dean's parents

sent him away so fast?

They probably thought

they couldn't handle it by themselves,

Having a child

is Iike owning a car--

I can change the oil,

fill the gas tank,

take it to a carwash,

but if the carburetor broke,

I wouldn't have a clue

as to how to fix it,

What are you saying--you'd actually

send me to a place Iike Mercy House?

Mary, please don't tell me

you're a Iesbian,

Should I be worried about you?

I don't need to

worry about you,,,do I?

No,

My mom just compared me to a car,

so me having a baby

definitely falls into the category

of things she couldn't handle.

A week after prom

and two days after I turned eighteen,

I was going to join

the unwed mothers club.

Dean, I'm really sorry

about what we did,

I mean, we should've

at Ieast used protection,

But you're the only person

I've been with.

- No, I know that.

- I don't have anything,

It's just--

Dean, I really,,,

I need to tell you something.

- Hey, governor,

- Hi, Mitch,

- Mitch?

- He's my roommate.

He's here for

the same reason as me,

He even ran away from home

to San Francisco.

He's Iike the worst one here,

- You better be careful,

- I'm gonna beat this.

According to the brochure,

hundreds of others have,

What were you gonna say?

Nothing, Just,,,

I wanted to know

if you'd be out by prom,

- Wild horses couldn't stop me,

- Mercy House residents--

I gotta go, We're doing

a Christian haunted house,

Happy Halloween.

Let's go, Iet's go,

Let's pick it up,

Nice costume,

Thanks,

'Cause we have the same,,,

If you don't Iet go, I'II tell everybody

you touch me inappropriately

while helping me in the bathroom,

- Is that supposed to embarrass me?

- I'm tired of you pushing me around,

Well, maybe I'm tired

of pushing you around,

He's all yours!

Thanks,

Call me Iater, okay?

He doesn't appreciate

one thing you do for him,

Without the strength and Iove

that Jesus provides me,

do you really think Cassandra's

gonna be able to take care of him?

No way,

She's just gonna

end up hurting him,

By the Iook of the bruises

on his neck, she already has,

Tia, please,

What are you supposed to be?

A roller skate,

I've got something to show you,

You do?

You didn't just do this

for the parking permit, did you?

Pretty much,

In the meantime,

I was trying to find a new religion

or a new God or whatever,

but to tell you the truth,

they were all kind of freaking me out.

I mean, sure, they can't all be right,

but they can't all be wrong, right?

You know, the whole

crystal thing is so felt up,

Don't you have a church

to desecrate or something?

Roland and I saw you

sneaking out of the clinic,

Kudos on the Bono shades,

by the way,

I was distributing pamphlets,

I was trying to prevent

girls Iike you from making a mistake,

Thank you,

After we win

the costume contest,

we'II distribute religious tracts

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