Scary Movie 4 Page #2

granted me that yesterday.

You're now officially known

as "Horace P. MacTitties."

I'm sure your new husband is pleased.

He's a good man.

A provider, unlike you.

You never cared

about our children.

Hey, that's not true.

I'm a great dad.

Kids!

Dad?

- Hi, Dad.

- Hey, Rachel.

How's it going there,

uh... Princess?

It's locked.

Hey! Let me help you

with that, muffin.

- I should do that.

- It's no problem.

- I honestly don't mind.

- Neither do I.

Fine. You take it.

I'll see you on Tuesday.

Hey, Marilyn.

That's a good look for you,

being pregnant.

I'm not pregnant!

I didn't meant to-

I'm sorry.

If you want to make things right,

maybe you should start with our kids.

You're right. Those kids

are all I have in this world.

Well, the kids... and my car.

Ow!

Mr. Koji, looks like we need

someone new for the Norris account.

Again?

Every day we don't have someone looking

after this woman, I lose big money.

- What happened to last girl?

- Yoko. Take a look.

Holy sh*t!

Someone put a towel under her

or something. Christ!

It's the Norris house, Mr. Koji.

They say it's cursed.

There no such thing as a curse.

Don't be ridiculous.

Those just old wives' tales.

I need someone there today

or I'm in big trouble.

Hello. I'm Cindy Campbell.

I'm looking for a job

in home health care.

I was recommended by a family friend,

but unfortunately, he committed-

Oh, my God!

Don't mind her.

She slip and fall.

You my new best employee.

Ready start today?

Oh, it's so fast. I don't know.

Oh, trust me.

Uh, you're gonna love this job.

Come on, I show you.

We can be there 10 minutes.

Come! Come!

Mr. Koji?

Hello?

Oh, my God! Oh!

Okay, oh.

- Oh, let's get you up and-

- Oh!

Okay, come on.

Here we go.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- There you are.

I see you've met Mrs. Norris-

she catatonic.

Yes, I was just trying

to get her back up on the bed.

I was afraid

that she would be hurt.

You know, when I came in,

I just saw her lying here on the floor.

Of course, of course. I help.

You grab her legs, I grab her arms.

Mrs. Norris,

I'm here to take care of you.

Yes, I'm very happy

to meet you, too.

See? This job perfect for you.

Let me show you rest of house.

Right this way.

So, what do you think?

I don't know. There's something

strange about this house.

- A presence.

- A presence? Don't be silly.

- Nothing wrong with this house.

- It's funny.

I always dreamt I would live

in a house like this with my husband...

but I guess that's all just in the...

past.

Who wants to see upstairs?

It's a nice neighborhood

close to schools and shopping.

There are hardwood floors throughout.

Passed almost every inspection.

Big backyard goes back 100 feet.

And in here is the bathroom.

Very big, very...

nice.

It is nice.

It seems like

it'd be a great place to work...

but I just can't shake

this feeling of... evil.

Evil? That crazy talk.

Do you know anything about

the people who used to live here?

People? No, nothing about people.

I don't remember anything.

Mr. Koji, did something strange

happen in this house?

Strange? Don't be silly.

This house perfectly normal.

I'm sure you're right, and yet...

it's as if someone's watching us.

Mr. Koji?

That was me...

just excited about hiring you.

Very, very enthusiastic!

We offer medical and dental

and two weeks' paid vacation!

I'm hoping...

you can start today!

Maybe get in a whole week!

You put in for this job...

we got wonderful opportunities for you.

Mr. Koji, is there something

you're not telling me about this?

I was... dirty.

So... the job?

I'll take it.

Get your glove!

I'm in the backyard!

Robbie, come on.

Let's go!

That's not how you're going

to get through to him.

Look, Rach, this is guy stuff.

You got to trust me.

All right, Robbie, you ready

for the Tom Ryan Express?

Yeah, maybe, one day,

I can grow up to be just like you.

All right,

I know I let you kids down...

but you have no idea

how hard it is to be a father.

Well, when you start,

let me know.

You okay?

My eyes! My eyes!

Oh, much... better.

- I'm so sorry.

- Oh, that's okay.

I've taken balls

to the face before.

Hi. I'm Cindy Campbell,

your new neighbor.

Tom, Tom Ryan.

You, uh, live here

all by yourself?

Well, I'm-I'm taking care

of Mrs. Norris...

but... yes, for the first time

in my life, I'm on my own.

I know that feeling.

- It wasn't always that way.

- I know.

You thought you'd found

your soul mate.

Yes.

And then one day

you come home...

and find your so-called soul mate

in bed with a complete stranger.

Well, not a complete stranger-

Sammy Sosa.

Sound familiar?

No, not at all.

But I do know what it's like

to be in that much pain...

and the worst part is

you have to suffer through it-

- Alone?

- It looks like we have a lot in-

Common.

- We're already finishing each other's-

- Dinner.

Sentences.

Well... maybe all we really need

is a friend.

I'd like that.

Well, I better get back

to Mrs. Norris.

It's time to put her catheter in,

and then after that...

I've got to scrub

in between her fat folds...

and I've got to lance her boils.

I've got to open her up

and then-

...empty the colostomy bag and...

Mop up the drool.

That's wonderful.

- I'll see you around?

- Definitely.

Okay.

Okay, Mrs. Norris,

time to dig out that doody bubble.

Whoa... Oh! Ow!

Mrs. Norris?

Have you noticed anything

strange about this house?

- Yes! Yes!

- No?

Yes!

Oh, you're probably right.

Guess I'm just being silly.

Just relax now.

Here we go. Okay.

Oh, you poor thing.

You don't have to be scared.

I'm here to take care of you.

You know, I think you and I

are going to be wonderful friends.

I do. That's right. Just relax.

Let's get in those ears.

Okay. All right.

That's right.

Oh, it feels good.

Okay.

You love this, don't you?

It's nice and warm.

Feels good, doesn't it?

Oh, my God! Oh! Oh!

I'm so sorry!

Robbie!

Come on!

Let's toss the old pigskin!

Ooh.

I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there.

Are you all right?

It's okay.

My throat cushioned the blow.

Thank God.

I lost my temper. My son's-

What's wrong?

You look scared.

Oh, nothing. It's just-

There's something

going on in this house.

Last night, I saw a face.

- Did it have a nose?

- Yes.

That does sound like a face.

And then there was

this weird hand in the shower...

and this horrible thing

on the stairs.

I can't go through

this all again.

Oh, I get it.

There's some other guy.

You still love him, don't you?

I wish you both the best.

Wait! You don't understand.

It's painful to talk about,

but you deserve to know.

I was married once.

- Get out the way, b*tch!

- Don't call me no b*tch! You ain't sh*t!

Shut your ass up, snow ho!

Well... actually, married twice.

My husband and I

were living our dream.

Ladies and gentlemen,

your challenger, Cindy Campbell.

Stay loose, Cindy.

Remember your training. Keep your focus.

Always think, where's

the next punch coming-

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