Scary Movie Page #10

Miss Mann startled, hides the panties.

MISS MANN:

Come right in, dear. Have a seat. Take

off your bra if you like.

Cindy sits. She can see Miss Mann's bulge. She tries to

avoid looking at it.

MISS MANN (CONT'D)

What can I do for you dear?

CINDY:

I need to talk.

MISS MANN:

Go ahead, my dear.

CINDY:

Well, you see, I have this problem and

I don't know who to tell. This is

really hard.

Miss Mann touches her hand, gives her a reassuring smile.

MISS MANN:

Not feeling so fresh?

CINDY:

Huh?

MISS MANN:

Feminine odor and itching got you down?

CINDY:

No, not that.

MISS MANN:

Oh.

CINDY:

I have a terrible secret.

Miss Mann sits back.

MISS MANN:

I see. Well, Cindy, we all

have our little secrets.

Miss Mann spreads her legs. We see a set of testicles fall

out from under her skirt.

Cindy tries not to react.

Miss Mann walks around the room. As she speaks, her balls

swing as they dangle in the

air.

MISS MANN (CONT'D)

Sometimes we do things we're not proud

of.

MISS MANN (CONT'D)

Some for money, others to gain an

athletic edge against the competition.

Miss Mann walks over to Cindy, places her hand on one

shoulder and accidentally rests

her balls on Cindy's other shoulder.

MISS MANN (CONT'D)

Sometimes those little secrets come back

to haunt us in the most unpredictable

ways. You know what I mean?

Cindy jumps up.

CINDY:

Yes I do. Thanks for your time.

I gotta go to class.

MISS MANN:

Anytime, dear.

Cindy hustles out of the office.

INT. GIRLS LOCKER ROOM ' DAY

All the girls have left but Buffy, who grabs her books and

closes her locker.

She hears a noise. She goes to investigate. No one there.

Buffy turns. She sees The Killer.

BUFFY:

Very funny. But you better get out

of here before Miss Mann sees you.

Buffy tries to walk away. Killer blocks her path.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

(sarcastically)

Oh, so what movie is this from, "Die

Cheerleaders Die"? So wanna play

psycho killer?

The Killer nods yes.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

Can I be the helpless cheerleader?

Let's see'

(pretend pleading)

Please don't kill me, mister killer'

The Killer grabs her arm.

NOTE:
Buffy's attitude is smart ass and condescending the

whole scene.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

Oh, is this the part where I beg

for my life?

Killer nods yes.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

Oh, please mister killer, don't kill me!

Killer slashes her with his knife.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

Oh is this where I'm supposed to bleed?

Oh, look, I'm bleeding. EEK! EEK! Oh

yeah, I'm supposed to run, right? Ha ha,

okay, if it makes you happy.

She runs half heartily, waving her arms in comical mock

fright.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

I'm running, I'm running. Help! Now

here is where I fall and break my leg,

leaving me helpless.

She sighs, like she's indulging him. She trips and twists

her leg grotesquely. We hear a

loud snap.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

There ya go, mister scary killer. I'm

panicking now. God, somebody please

help me!

Killer gets down and viciously attacks. We hear flesh

tearing and ripping as blood sprays

everywhere.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

So, I suppose this is where my guts

get ripped open? Whatever'

Killer raises a meat clever the final blow. He lifts her

severed head.

She rolls her eyes.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

Oh, look at me. I'm all dead.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

I'm a gross scary severed head. Come on,

Pul-leeze!

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL ' DAY

The ledge outside one of the school windows on the third

floor. Phil crawls out on the

ledge, looking disheveled. Another faculty member pokes his

head out the window.

FACULTY MEMBER:

Phil! What are you doing?! Come

back in here!

PHIL:

No, I've had it! I can't take

this job and these stupid kids

anymore! I'm going to end it all!

FACULTY MEMBER:

Be reasonable.

PHIL:

There's nothing for me to live

for. I'm jumping.

FACULTY MEMBER:

Wait! Just hold on, we're getting help.

BRANDY:

The killer's just f***ing with us.

RAY:

I don't get it. Why?

CINDY:

What does he want with us?

Upset, Cindy steps away from the group, looking up (but not

in the direction of the

school) arms out, shouting:

CINDY (CONT'D)

What are you waiting for, huh?

Phil on the ledge, breathing hard, sweating. He hears Cindy

yelling again, louder this

time.

CINDY (O.S.)(CONT'D)

What are you waiting for?!

PHIL:

She's right. What am I waiting for?

With a shout, he jumps to his death.

Phil lands near them'SPLAT. They all surround him. Shorty

stands over him.

SHORTY:

Yo, kid. You got that ill chronic.

I told you that sh*t would make

you fly.

INT. RAY'S BEDROOM ' DAY

Ray and Brandy sitting on his bed, sharing fruit. Ray is

wearing shorts and a tank top.

Music plays in the background.

Brandy is wearing Ray's football jersey.

BRANDY:

Ray, I don't think this party is

a good idea. What if Shorty is

right?

RAY:

Promise.

He gives her a reassuring kiss.

The song "Same Ho" by Snoop Dog is playing on the radio.

SONG V.O.

Every where I go, I see the same ho,

in every video, I see the same hooo'

BRANDY:

Hey, that's my song. You know they

gave me a shout out on the album.

Brandy starts to dance for Ray.

RAY:

You know, you look really sexy in

my jersey.

Brandy stands up and begins to model the jersey.

BRANDY:

You think so?

RAY:

Yeah, put these on with it.

He hands her the football pants.

RAY (CONT'D)

And these too.

He hands her a pair of cleats.

BRANDY:

You sure?

RAY:

Yeah, and this too.

He gives her his shoulder pads.

RAY (CONT'D)

Yeah, that's hot. Wait. One more

thing.

He puts a helmet on her head.

RAY (CONT'D)

That's what I'm talkin' about. Come

here, you sexy thing you.

Ray grabs her and starts making passionate love to her.

EXT. MOVIE THEATRE ' NIGHT

Ray and Brandy walk to the box office to get tickets.

BRANDY:

I don't know why we got to go

see this movie. They just insult

my intelligence.

RAY:

What are you talking about? You

just got your GED.

BRANDY:

All I know is these movies is about

white people doing white things in

white places. There ain't never

no black people in them.

RAY:

That's cuz it's Shakespeare.

Reveal they are going to see "Shakespeare in Love".

BRANDY:

Whatever. Why can't we go see a

horror movie or something?

RAY:

Look, why don't you just chill

and try to have a good time.

BRANDY:

Alright. I'm sorry. I do appreciate

you takin' me out.

They enter the theatre.

INT. MOVIE THEATRE ' CONCESSION AREA ' NIGHT

RAY:

Look, why don't you go get some

seats? I'm gonna get some refreshments.

Ray stands in line at the concession stand. Brandy enters

the screening room.

INT. MOVIE THEATRE ' NIGHT

Ray enters, looking for Brandy.

Brandy calls for Ray.

BRANDY:

Ray! Hey Ray-Ray! Down here!

She waves wildly, screaming Ray's name.

Note:
Ray and Brandy are the only black people in the

theatre.

Ray walks to Brandy, takes a seat.

RAY:

You want some popcorn?

BRANDY:

I brought my own food.

Brandy reaches into her purse, pulls out a full course meal.

Fried chicken, potato salad,

greens, and a large bottle of hot sauce.

Screen:
The THX robot starts the film.

Brandy immediately starts yelling at the screen.

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