Scary Movie Page #9

O.C. We hear swerve, crash, crash.

INT. BUFFY'S BEDROOM ' NIGHT

Buffy and Cindy sit on the bed talking.

BUFFY:

Do you really think Bobby did it?

CINDY:

I don't know but he was there.

BUFFY:

I knew there had to be something.

Doofy enters holding an ice pack.

DOOFY:

Here, a little something for your hand.

He tosses the ice pack to Cindy, not having good aim or

knowing his strength, the ice

pack smacks her in the head, knocking her off the bed.

DOOFY (CONT'D)

Sorry. I better get something for

your head.

Cindy, dazed, climbs back on the bed.

CINDY:

That's okay Doofy.

DOOFY:

I'll be in the next room if you

need me.

CINDY:

Thanks. Good night Doofy.

Doofy exits.

Buffy opens a bag of doughnuts, starts snacking. She hands

one to Cindy.

CINDY:

Say, I didn't know you ate stuff

like that.

BUFFY:

(excited)

Oh, I'm on this new diet. I can eat

all the junk food I want and not

gain a pound!

CINDY:

Really?!

Barf, Barf. Buffy throws up the doughnuts.

BUFFY:

Want some pizza?

Buffy's mom enters.

MRS. GILMORE

Cindy, telephone.

CINDY:

Who is it?

MRS. GILMORE

I'm just guessing but I'd say a

psychotic killer.

Cindy exits to answer the phone.

INT. BUFFY'S HALLWAY ' NIGHT (PHONE)

CINDY:

Hello?

V.O. KILLER

Hello, Cindy. Poor Bobby boy. An

innocent guy doesn't stand a chance with

you.

CINDY:

No!

Buffy and Mrs. Gilmore run to Cindy.

MRS. GILMORE

Doofy! Doofy!

CINDY:

Who are you?

V.O. KILLER

You'll find out soon enough.

Cindy drops the phone.

Doofy comes running, carrying the vacuum cleaner hose.

DOOFY:

What?

The girls go into the bedroom. Doofy picks up the phone.

DOOFY (CONT'D)

Hello?

INT. HIGH SCHOOL CAFETERIA ' FOODLINE ' DAY

Cindy enters, grabs a tray and gets in line.

Cindy looks at menu. It reads "Same Old Sh*t".

PAN ACROSS FACES OF SEVERAL CAFETERIA LADIES SCOOPING IN

MUSH:

ON TO THE PLATES. EACH WORKER GETS PROGRESSIVELY UGLIER.

THE:

LAST IS A SEA CREATURE IN A UNIFORM AND HAIR NET.

Cindy joins Ray, Brandy & Shorty.

CINDY:

Hey guys.

BRANDY:

How you doin' girl?

CINDY:

Ok. He got Buffy.

SHORTY:

What?! She's dead too?

CINDY:

No, she's fine, just a little

bent out of shape.

RAY:

We gotta get this guy.

CINDY:

I think we should all just stick

together. After school, everyone grab

some stuff, meet at my house and invite

some friends too. There is safety in

numbers. Anyone seen Bobby?

RAY:

I heard he was let out this morning.

CINDY:

If you see him, tell him I'm sorry.

I'll see you guys tonight.

Kid dressed in killer's outfit runs through the cafeteria,

screaming and waving his arms

wildly.

CINDY (CONT'D)

(annoyed)

Why are they doing this?

She rushes from the table.

NEW ANGLE:

Cindy bumps into someone.

CINDY (CONT'D)

Oh my'

It's Bobby.

BOBBY:

It's okay. It's just me.

Cindy pulls away.

BOBBY (CONT'D)

Whoa, whoa, wait. You don't still

think it's me?!

Cindy pats him down for weapons.

CINDY:

No, no, not at all. It's just that

someone did try to kill me.

BOBBY:

The police said I scared him away.

CINDY:

I know. He called last night.

BOBBY:

See? It couldn't have been me.

I was in jail, remember?

Bobby shows Cindy a tattoo on his butt cheek. It reads

"Hank's stuff".

CINDY:

I'm sorry. Please understand.

BOBBY:

What? My girl would rather call

me a killer then touch me?

CINDY:

That's not true.

BOBBY:

Then what is it?

CINDY:

What is it? Bobby, she's gone and

she's not coming back.

BOBBY:

It's been a year Cindy.

CINDY:

But Ginger was such an important part

of the Spice Girls.

BOBBY:

You have to move on, Cind.

CINDY:

I'm sorry if my complicated life is an

inconvenience to your perfect existence.

Cindy runs away.

BOBBY:

Stupid.

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL ' DAY

Sheriff makes an announcement.

SHERIFF:

Let me just say the killings of these

teenagers have been tragic but with

every cloud there is a silver lining.

Thanks to all the press, tourism is at

an all time high. Any of you folks

visiting, I'll be selling souvenir

t-shirts right after the conference.

Sheriff holds up a t-shirt that reads: "I could be next

Woodsboro 99"

SHERIFF (CONT'D)

Only fifteen bucks each. Get one

for the whole family.

Gail calls out to the sheriff.

GAIL:

Sheriff..Hi, Gail Hailstorm, author of

101 Ways to Milk a Tragedy. Sheriff,

let me ask you, do you think the killer

will strike again?

SHERIFF:

We have no evidence of that. This is

just a precaution.

GAIL:

Have you located Cindy Campbell's father?

SHERIFF:

No.

GAIL:

Is he a suspect?

SHERIFF:

That's classified. Where are you

getting your information?

GAIL:

My source is strictly confidential.

Doofy steps up to the mic.

DOOFY:

Hey, anybody wanna smell my finger?

INT. GIRLS LOCKER ROOM ' DAY

Several girls changing clothes, heading to the showers.

INT. GIRLS SHOWERS ' DAY

Camera pans across the naked backs of Buffy and her friends

taking a shower. They

gossip about the past nights events.

BUFFY:

Can you believe it? There's a killer

out there.

Several tattoos on Buffy's back. All hearts with guys names

crossed out:
Dave, Tom,

Phil, Steve, last heart reads "Your Name Here."

GIRL #2

Yeah, I heard he's really cute!

Girl #2:
Her tattoo reads: "One Billion Served".

GIRL #3

Is it true he almost got Cindy?

Girl #3 tatoo above her ass reads: "Exit Only".

BUFFY:

I don't believe her.

Girls finish their shower, grab towels, and continue

conversation.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

I think she's just trying to get

attention. Just a case of virginal

delusions.

A girl passes them, built like a playmate centerfold. The

girls look at themselves

insecurely.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

That Tammy. She's been left back

so many times it ain't funny.

INT. GIRL'S LOCKER ROOM ' DAY

We pick up our girls at the lockers. They see Cindy getting

dressed.

BUFFY:

Watch this.

She takes a cell phone from her locker and pretends that she

a call.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

Hello, who is this? What? You

want to kill me? Hold on' Cindy,

it's for you.

All the girls laugh. Cindy tries to ignore them.

The laughter is interrupted by the Gym teacher.

MISS MANN, a tall muscular woman with a five o'clock shadow

and a bulge under her

skirt that she constantly adjusts.

MISS MANN:

Alright, knock it off Buffy. Now

as all have heard, there is a killer

in our town and the police have asked

us to give you all the following

safety tips. Stay in well lit areas, do

not travel alone whenever possible and

don't accept rides from anyone you don't

know. I understand this is a difficult

time for you young ladies, so if anyone

wants to come to my office to talk,

I'm here for you.

Miss Mann exits.

BUFFY:

What a crock of sh*t.

CINDY:

It's not! He's out there! I'm

telling you he's real!

BUFFY:

Oh right, cause you saw him. Sure.

What are you gonna come up with next?

Let me guess..The faculty are really

aliens?

They all laugh.

Cindy grabs her books and exits.

INT. MISS MANN'S OFFICE ' DAY

Start on photos on the wall.

Includes Miss Mann with k.d.lang.

Pan down we see Miss Mann sniffing a pair of women's

panties.

CINDY:

Miss Mann?

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