Scary Movie Page #8

V.O. KILLER

Homicidal Maniac.

V.O. OPERATOR

Will you accept?

CINDY:

Yes.

V.O. OPERATOR

Go ahead, sir.

V.O. KILLER

(to Cindy)

Look you little b*tch, you ever do

that again and I'll rip your throat

out.

CINDY:

My friend needed the notes.

V.O. KILLER

I don't give a sh*t. You made me

lose my train of thought.

CINDY:

It was something about gutting me.

V.O. KILLER

Oh yeah, now I remember. I'm in the

house. Do you know where I am?

Cindy walks nervously through the house. She sees

something.

CINDY:

Ah, you're behind the couch.

KILLER:

(surprised)

What? How'd you know?

CINDY:

I see your feet.

Close on Killer as he looks up.

KILLER:

Sh*t, wait a minute.

He runs out of the room.

V.O. KILLER

No peeking!

V.O. KILLER (CONT'D)

Ok, now where am I? You don't know,

do you? Heh, heh.

Cindy rushes for the door, opens it. The Killer standing in

front of her.

KILLER:

Hello, Cindy.

Killer swings his hook. Cindy ducks and runs.

Killer gives chase. Cindy puts a move on him. He stumbles

over furniture.

Killer gets up. He starts to run and stumbles again.

KILLER (CONT'D)

(to himself)

I gotta stop drinking.

Cindy runs upstairs. Killer follows.

INT. CINDY'S STAIRWELL ' NIGHT

Cindy tosses a vase. It crashes against the killer's head.

He keeps coming.

Cindy tosses a bicycle. The killer brushes it to the side

and continues up the stairs.

KILLER P.O.V. Cindy pushing a piano down the stairs.

Killer turns and runs. Piano just misses.

INT. CINDY'S UPSTAIRS HALLWAY ' NIGHT

Cindy enters the closet, revealing JAMIE LEE CURTIS already

hiding in the corner.

JAMIE LEE:

Hey b*tch! I'm in here.

Jamie shoves Cindy back into the hallway.

NEW ANGLE ' HALLWAY

Cindy and Jamie playing tug of war with the closet door.

CINDY:

Let me in!

JAMIE LEE:

Find your own!

Killer appears at the top of the stairs.

Cindy runs to her room and locks the door.

Killer hacking away with his hook.

INT. CINDY'S BEDROOM ' NIGHT

Cindy quickly types on her computer.

Screen:
911

Operator:
What's your emergency?

Screen:
White woman in trouble.

Immediately we hear police sirens closing in.

Cindy turns to the door. The chopping has stopped. She

hears a noise at the window.

Bobby climbing in.

BOBBY:

Cindy, you ok? I heard screaming.

Cindy hugs Bobby.

CINDY:

He was here!

BOBBY:

It's okay.

Cindy calms down for a moment then she notices something

falling from Bobby's jacket.

A cell phone drops to the floor.

BOBBY (CONT'D)

I can explain'

Then a knife and bloody gloves.

BOBBY (CONT'D)

Uh'that too.

Cindy takes off running.

BOBBY (CONT'D)

Cindy! Wait! Cindy!

INT. CINDY'S FRONT DOOR ' NIGHT

Cindy runs to the front door and opens it. The mask of the

killer is covering someone's

face.

Cindy screams and attacks.

VOICE:

Cindy, It's me.

Cindy sees it's Doofy.

EXT. CINDY'S HOUSE ' NIGHT

Bobby repeatedly being body slammed against the hood of a

police car by Doofy.

BOBBY:

Help! Somebody get this moron off

me!

The sheriff arrives.

DOOFY:

I got him sheriff!

SHERIFF:

It's okay, Doofy, I'll take it from

here.

DOOFY:

I was the first to respond.

SHERIFF:

Whoopie for you, numb nuts. How's

the girl?

DOOFY:

She's okay.

Sheriff walks over to Cindy.

SHERIFF:

You okay to come down to the station?

Cindy nods.

DOOFY:

I'll give you a ride.

Doofy escorts Cindy past a real police car to his kiddie,

pedal-operated police car. They

climb in and ride off. Doofy makes a siren noise with his

mouth.

As they ride off, they pass an arriving news van.

Van stops. Gail Hailstorm rushes out, calling for the

camera man.

GAIL:

Kenny! Camera! Now!

Gail tries to get a glimpse of Bobby as he is driven off.

GAIL (CONT'D)

Who is that? Is he a suspect? Is

anyone dead? Sheriff, can I get a

statement?

Sheriff drives off. Gail, alone at the scene, sees Kenny

approaching with a camera.

Gail goes off with Kenny.

GAIL (CONT'D)

Kenny, I know you're about 50 pounds

overweight, but when I say hurry, please

interpret that to mean move your lard

sweating', bacon burpin' jello shakin'

ass now!!

INT. POLICE STATION BULLPEN ' NIGHT

Bobby being led away.

BOBBY:

Cindy! Come on Cind! You know me!

Cindy sits at a desk alone, visibly shaken.

NEW ANGLE:

A policeman talking to the sheriff about Cindy.

SHERIFF:

How's she doing?

POLICEMAN #1

She's a little shaken up but I

think she's okay.

SHERIFF:

Okay, I'll take it from here.

Sheriff walks over to Cindy.

SHERIFF (CONT'D)

I know you've had a rough night Cindy, so

I'm not going to keep you. I just want

you to look at some photo's and tell me

what you think.

Sheriff hands her a stack of photos.

Close in on photos. They are pictures of the sheriff

wearing a pair of speedos, striking

several different poses.

Cindy shakes her head no.

SHERIFF (CONT'D)

Okay, you're free to go. Do you have

someone picking you up?

CINDY:

Yes.

NEW ANGLE:

Two young policemen talking. We see Doofy in the

background.

POLICEMAN #2

Hey, guess what I just did to those

hookers we busted.

POLICEMAN #1

No way.

POLICEMAN #2

All the way. Watch this. Hey Doofy,

come here.

DOOFY:

Yes.

POLICEMAN #2

Smell my finger.

DOOFY:

What's that?

POLICEMAN #2

That's when you'll know you've

become a man.

They laugh at Doofy.

DOOFY:

Hey, smell my finger.

POLICEMAN #2

What the hell is that?

DOOFY:

My ass.

Buffy enters.

BUFFY:

Doofy, mom said get home now.

DOOFY:

Tell mom I'm on official police

business.

BUFFY:

Hey, Cind, you okay?

DOOFY:

Hey, no talking to the witness.

BUFFY:

Go get in the car Doofy. She's

coming with us.

DOOFY:

Does mom know?

BUFFY:

Yeah, Doofus.

DOOFY:

Mom says when I wear this badge your

supposed to treat me like a man of

the law.

BUFFY:

Yeah, well mom also said for you to

stop sticking your dick in the vacuum

cleaner. Now let's go.

Everyone in the police station laughs at Doofy. He looks

embarrassed.

Buffy and Cindy exit. Doofy follows.

EXT. POLICE STATION ' NIGHT

Gail Hailstorm arrives. Kenny hustles behind her.

GAIL:

Okay roll in 5, 4, 3'

Kenny fumbles with the camera. Ho looks confused.

GAIL (CONT'D)

What now? Don't tell me you

can't count. Let's see if I can

make it easy for you. This little

piggy went to market, this little

piggy stayed home, this little

piggy had roast beef, this little

piggy had none,and if this little

piggy doesn't roll the goddamn camera

right now I'm gonna put my foot'

KENNY:

We're live.

GAIL:

Hi, Gail Hailstorm here in front of

the police station where I'm going to

try to get a glimpse of Cindy Campbell,

the young woman who was attacked earlier

this evening.

Gail and other reporters see Cindy exit the station. They

rush her.

REPORTER #1

Cindy, can we get a statement?

REPORTER #2

Is it true the police have someone

in custody?

GAIL:

Cindy, your ass looks fat.

Cindy turns and punches Gail in the face.

Doofy hustles Cindy into the car. She gets behind the

wheel. Doofy throws his jacket

across her head to shield her from the media rush.

Doofy gets in. They drive off.

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