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Scenic Route Page #3
Right. So you turn your
anger on everybody else
and try to make us feel like our
achievements aren't worth a sh*t
because we didn't
draw a picture
in the second grade.
You actually think
that if I quit,
took up music and
actually made it,
that you'd be happy for me?
Mm F*** that. You would be
just as blind with jealousy
then as you are now.
You'd probably...
I don't know...
run me over with your
car-slash-house...
Probably and then tell me
that it was for my
own good, right?
Yeah.
This is not about me.
You don't give a
sh*t about me.
This is all about you
and how everybody else can
accommodate your failure.
Hey, I'm not a failure, okay?
I could have everything
you have and more,
but I decided long ago that it
would be better to follow my dream
rather than try to buy enough
sh*t from f***ing Pottery Barn
to be comfortable with
the idea of being
a meaningless, lever-pulling,
button-pushing cog!
I was a day away from...
From law school. No, no.
We all know the story.
F***!
You took a test.
You blew it away.
You had your
choice of schools,
but walked away for the
sake of art, right? Right?
I followed my dream
instead of a paycheck.
Yeah. No, no, no, no, no.
Enh! Wrong.
You're a scared and
insecure little freak
who couldn't get
anywhere with writing
and so desperately needed
somebody to approve of you,
to say that you were
still intelligent,
still capable.../ Come on.
That you took a fricking test.
You know what you should do?
score on your forehead.
That way, when somebody says, "Wait a second.
You live in your car?"
You can say, "Yeah, but look.
I chose to be a
loser, so its okay."
You think you've got the
rest of us pegged, right?
You got the rest of us pegged,
and it's your job to make
sure we all face reality?
The reality is your
writing sucks.
You're not gonna be famous.
You're not gonna sell a book.
You are wasting your time.
You're the one that needs
to face facts, pal.
But everytime those
facts get too close,
you just hop in your
car, and you run off.
Well, here are the facts.
A 30-year-old loser
living in his car
is about the last person
for advice on how
to fix my life.
So unless you want to put
out a book of don'ts
based on all the
ways you screwed up,
which is the only thing you're
ever likely to publish,
you should probably
just shut the f*** up.
Are you done?
F***!
Sh*t. Sh*t.
Sh*t. Sh...
Someone'll come along.
You make me sick.
Hot enough for ya?
They say the nights kill
more people than the days.
Okay.
I'm so thirsty.
My tongue feels
like a two-by-four.
Here.
Eh...
Man, finish it.
How long can you
go without water?
Two days?
I don't know. It
doesn't matter.
I'm going for help
in the morning.
Oh, 60 miles is a
pretty long walk.
That's only if I
don't see a car.
I think I saw some cones
on the way in, man.
I don't know.
Hey, I know it...
I know it doesn't really
change anything, but, uh...
I'm sorry.
It was definitely not
your brightest idea.
I mean I'm sorry
about what I said.
Are you sure you don't
want to apologize
for getting us stuck?
I'm not freezing to death
because you insulted my wife.
whole goddamn thing.
You really think
my writing sucks?
It's... It's not bad.
It's just...
all... all your characters
get, like, cancer and die.
Don't all get cancer and die.
In that one thing,
I'm pretty sure
about 75% of the people die...
That was about an oncologist.
Yeah, and that other
one with the woman
who was high and her baby
crawled out the window.
I mean, it was good
writing, but...
kind made me want
to kill myself.
Look, that sh*t really
happens, all right?
It's just hard to get the message
The idea that "I
might not have it,"
it's... it's not news.
It's just that...
you go your whole
life with everyone
yelling at you to follow your
dream and then to never give up.
But to be honest, if everyone
followed their dreams,
we'd just be a planet
of pro athletes and...
and astronauts.
You know, there's gotta
be someone there
to clean the
toilets, am I right?
It's like you said, you know.
Sometimes it's better to go
after something you care about
than to be handed something
that you don't, right?
Really?
What if my lifelong dream
was to be point guard
for the Lakers?
Would you tell me to
keep chasing that?
No.
Exactly.
Because "Never give up"
looks a hell of a lot better
on a coffee mug than
it does in real life.
Because failing...
daily failing, it's...
it's just...
it's a lonely...
miserable business.
Look man, if I thought you
should quit, I would say so.
But sometimes, you know,
inside all that other stuff,
sometimes...
you'll say something
in just a few words
that I realize I've been
thinking for years.
And that's not just
you reading my mind.
That's you reading
a part of it
known how to express.
Now, that's not just some
fat kid with no jump shot.
That's...
There's something there.
Some of the things you
put out there, man...
I think a lot more of them
stick than you realize.
I cheated on Joanne.
Are you kidding me?
No.
Six months ago at
this conference.
Just...
just sort of happened.
in the middle of the desert.
You think you're
gonna get away with,
"It just sort of happened?"
It was just...
It was this woman...
Girl, really, 21, 22,
somebody's intern.
Long brown hair, these
long, skinny legs,
and she had this huge smile.
And she walks up to me, and
she introduces herself,
asks what firm I'm with, blah, blah, blah.
And I said, like,
"Listen, if... if you're looking
for a job, I'm the wrong guy,"
and she goes, "No, I just
think you look interesting."
And she says, "Would you
like to have dinner?"
And I realize that I've had my hands
in my pockets this whole time,
so she has no idea
that I'm even married.
Mm-hmm.
And suddenly I get this
feeling, you know,
like I told you I get
with books and movies,
like I... I finally had
a chance to escape,
to be somebody
else for a while.
So I go back up to my room,
and suddenly I feel
this wave of guilt,
like the spell breaks,
and I start thinking
this is crazy.
Then all of a sudden,
my phone rings,
and it's Joanne.
And I answer, and I say,
"I'm so glad you
called," because I was.
"I miss you, and I wish
you were here right now."
And she says, "Well, I wish I
"because the disposal's
broken again.
"Do you want me to
call a repairman,
"or do you want to
try and fix it?
"Oh, and did you ever
talk to our neighbor
"about whether or not they
stole our recycling bin?
Because it's getting a little
awkward walking with..."
And she goes on like this
for, like, five minutes.
So when I hung up,
I practically ran
to the elevator.
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"Scenic Route" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 8 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/scenic_route_17577>.
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