Scent of a Woman Page #4

- [ Clanking ]

- Oh !

I'm home again.

Give me an inventory

on this, will you ?

All right,

where am l, in Asia ?

He told me the phone was on

the other side of the room, didn't he ?

By the windows ?

It's right here.

Okay.

We're in business.

Get me the Oak Room.

How's that inventory

comin' ?

Uh, there's Jim Beam

and Early Times.

Quartermaster's on the take again.

Hello.

Is Sheldon or Mack there ?

This is

Lt. Col. Frank Slade.

I used to be a regular. I used

to come in with a General Garbisch.

Yes, that's probably because

he's at Arlington six feet under.

Listen up. I want a table for two, and

I don't mean Siberia, 8:15.

Clear them little

bottles off.

And when I get off the phone,

call up Hyman.

Tell him I want it

wall to wall with John Daniels.

Uh, don't you mean,

uh, Jack Daniels ?

He may be Jack to you, son. But when

you've known him as long as I have --

That's a joke.

Hello !

This is Lt. Col. Frank Slade.

I would like a limo, 8:00.

What are you drinkin' ?

Uh, nothing, thanks.

I don't use it.

What's useful about it ?

I don't know. Listen, Colonel,

I have to get going.

Where you goin' ?

Back to school. I've got some real

important stuff I have to take care of.

Very well.

But I never let my aides leave

on an empty stomach.

You'll dine with me and then my driver

will transport you...

to the airport for the Boston Shuttle

departing at 2200 hours.

Meanwhile,

unpack my bag.

I'm gonna christen

the latrine.

[ Frank ] What's your name,

driver ?

- Manny, sir.

- Manny.

The bellhops at the Waldorf, are they

any good at getting escorts ?

- I wouldn't know, sir.

- What would you know ?

- About what ?

- About you-know-what ?

Maybe I could

manage something.

[ Frank ] I'm talkin'

top of the line, now.

Let me think

about this, sir.

What's the matter

with you ?

- With me ?

- Yeah. Car feels heavy. You know why ?

You got the f***in' weight of the world

on your shoulders.

[ Sigh ]

I got a little problem

at school, that's all.

- Spit it out !

- It's not a big deal, all right ?

Where we going,

the Oak Room or somethin' ?

If it's not a big deal, why did you say

"real important stuff" ?

What are you doin', banging

the dean's daughter ? Hah !

- I'm just in a little trouble.

- What kind of trouble ?

I saw some guys

doing something.

To tell or not to tell,

or it's your ass.

Hmm ?

- How'd you know that ?

- I'm a wizard.

Give me the details,

come on.

[ Sigh ]

There's this guy

at school named Harry.

He's this real rich kid.

He like...

runs the show.

Who else ?

There's another guy, George,

but George didn't do anything.

George and I saw Harry and his buddies

doin' somethin'.

Now, the folks at Baird,

they know you and George can

identify the guilty parties ?

Yeah, they think we can.

- George is a friend of yours.

- He's not a friend, but he's all right.

- You trust him ?

- Yeah, I guess so.

- He's on scholarship too ?

- No, why ?

We got George, we got Harry,

we got trouble.

They're rich, you're poor.

You wanna get rich.

You wanna graduate Baird,

become a rich big shot like them.

- Am I right ?

- No. It's not that way at all.

Okay, Charlie !

Here we are, gentlemen:

the Oak Room.

The Oak Room !

Bring us a menu and double Jack Daniels

on the rocks.

Charlie, sit down here.

Uh, perhaps you'll feel more

comfortable in this, sir.

[ Wolf Whistle ]

You look great !

Thank you.

Here we are, Charlie:

the Oak Room.

Now, read me

the bill of fare.

Uh, let's see.

You got the Oak Room Burger

and fries for $24.

Where's the booze ?

Flowin' like mud around here.

A $24 hamburger ?

W-What's the story ?

What story ?

- Are you a rich miser or something ?

- Hah !

No, I'm just your average

blind man.

Your average blind man.

How do you plan on

paying for all this stuff ?

Crisp, clean dollars...

American.

I saved up my

disability checks.

How much did you save ?

I mean, we flew first class,

we're at the Waldorf-Astoria,

a $24 hamburger restaurant.

- All part of a plan, Charlie.

- You want to let me in on it ?

Why should I ? You're not interested.

You don't give a sh*t !

You're leavin' on that

last shuttle out of La Guardia.

Hmm ? Ooh !

You got 15 minutes, son. I don't think

you're gonna make it,

unless the Oak Room keeps some

complimentary helicopter on the roof.

No, sir. No !

You're here till tomorrow.

You said the last shuttle

leaves at 2200 hours.

That's 10:
00, right ?

Last I heard, yeah.

It's only 8:
30.

I lied. Leaves at 9:00.

- It leaves at 9:00 ?

- Calm down. Calm down.

Ahh ! The truth is, Charlie,

- I need a guide dog

to help me execute my plan.

- What plan ?

You have a right to know.

It's not really a plan, Charlie.

It's sort of a --

more like a tour,

a little tour of pleasures:

stay in a first-class hotel,

eat an agreeable meal,

drink a nice glass of wine,

see my big brother.

Nothing like family,

you know.

And then, make love

to a terrific woman.

After that...

Yeah ?

I'm gonna lie down on my big,

beautiful bed at the Waldorf...

and blow my brains out.

- May I tell you our specials ?

- You may, sir.

Tonight we have charred venison with

buckwheat spaetzle and green peppercorn.

Grilled veal, tomato tapenade,

and roasted eggplants.

Get me a napkin.

My mouth's watering.

If you like our souffle for dessert,

it would be good to order it now.

Yes, on the souffle. Give us

a half a minute on the rest.

Very good, sir.

[ Clearing Throat ]

- I'm leaning towards the spaetzle.

- Colonel Slade --

Charlie, rolls on the table ?

Give 'em to me.

You should

try these rolls.

I used to dream about them

when I was at Fort Huachuca.

- Colonel Slade --

- Bread's no good west of the Colorado.

- Water's too alkaline.

- Colonel Slade, did you say --

Did I hear you right ?

Y-You said you're gonna

kill yourself ?

No, I said I was gonna

blow my brains out.

Try one of these rolls, Charlie.

I buttered it for ya.

I don't want a roll,

all right ?

Okay. Have a radish !

Hah !

Hello ! Bring me a double

Jack Daniels on the rocks.

Yes, sir.

Right away.

[ Clearing Throat,

Mouthing Words ]

Please, don't do that.

Don't do that.

Hmm.

[ Sniffing ]

What a marvelous place !

Okay.

Yeah.

Your billet is here.

You'll find bedding

in the closet on the shelf.

In the morning, the area will be

returned to sitting-room mode...

no later than

What was that ?

Nothing.

Next time...

snap it out !

Thumb to palm, index finger

through little digit, smartly aligned,

sharp to the hairline,

down !

Too many men,

far better than you,

have executed

that courtesy.

And if you're smart,

you won't try it again.

This bat has got sharper radar

than the Nautilus.

Don't f*** with me,

Charlie.

See you get

a good night's sleep, son.

[ Groaning ]

[ Frank ]

?It's a lovely day today ?

?So, whatever

you gotta do ?

?You got a lovely day

to do it in that's true ?

Good morning, Charlie.

- [ Sigh ] Good morning.

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