School Dance Page #2

to have this done?

Tonight.

- Tonight?

- Tonight.

But you just said South

Central wasn't built in a day.

Uh, I don't know what that sh*t means.

I just be saying sh*t.

Y'all expect me to have sex

with one of the most untouchable

girls in our school tonight?

Yeah.

That's not even

humanly possible.

Yeah, it is.

Tonight is the "Unity in the Community"

school dance, fool.

And it's a lock-in.

And you know what happens

at the lock-in, boy.

Okay, for those of you that

don't know

what a lock-in is,

let me explain.

In an attempt to give

all races and classes of students

a safe party environment,

and keep them away

from gang violence,

we have an all-night

campus party

that culminates in a sleep over,

in the gym.

Nice, safe and wholesome, right?

Wrong.

Instead of the lock-in,

they need to call it the "get it in."

Because that's all that's

happening all night long.

Everybody sneaks off somewhere to

get their freak in...

...drink in, smoke in,

and frolic in.

But the main attraction is the

Power 106 concert and talent show.

Last year The New Boyz took home

$2,000 and a major label record deal.

Their lives changed forever.

And they're coming back

this year to judge

and give another act

a ticket out of the hood.

Oh, sh*t, y'all.

We're late! We better

get to class.

Nigga, we're The Rangers.

We're not worried about

being late to class.

Yeah, we run this school.

This school don't run us,

extra meat.

Yeah, nigga.

Quit tripping.

I'm with the big dogs

running this school.

This school don't run us.

Ain't that right, dude?

Langston?

Tardy, tardy, tardy!

Get your Hot Pocket-sized

ass to my office!

In here, sir.

Little-ass homie,

in here.

Ain't that a rip?

Damn. That's what's

wrong with you kids.

Your mind is filled

with all that bullshit.

I'm sick of it.

If I was your daddy,

I'd be the one who

tore your ass up.

I wouldn't play here.

I wouldn't put up with none of it.

That's right.

I'm trying to...

Ooh!

Look at that. Look at that. Look at that.

Look at that, that, that, that...

Stop looking at my girl.

I'm gonna tell you one time and

I ain't gonna tell you no more.

Keep your eyes and

your mind off my b*tch.

I mean, my faculty.

I'm sorry about that, Mrs. Johnson.

She hears every damn

thing. Everything!

Yeah, she is a b*tch sometimes.

I needs to talk to you.

About that little butt-naked

dance you just did

out there on the quad

just a minute ago.

Well...

I'm not circumcised either.

And I'm sixty-some years old,

still ain't circumcised.

Join the club!

You've got a turtle-neck

little dick, too.

You got a German Shepherd dick.

I got a German Shepherd dick.

You got a Sean John leather on your dick.

That's what you got.

That's right. Levi leather.

I know it. When your little dick

gets a little blanket lint on it,

and cookie crumbs,

stuff like that,

it's hard to blow out.

I know what you're talking about

'cause I deal with it

all the time.

You ain't even

gotta use a condom.

Just twist the tip up

like a balloon.

That little ball will pop up.

More pleasure!

Principal Rogers.

What?

Is there any reason that

you have me in your office?

Yes, there's a reason

why I got you in here.

I wanted to ask you something.

You having a problem out

with 'em Ranger boys?

The Rangers?

No, they're my friends.

That's what I'm talking about.

See that! See that!

I'm sitting here trying to defend

you and you're running with 'em!

I'm gonna tell you

something, Jebediah,

you're trying to start

some sh*t around here.

The Rangers, now, all of

a sudden, is your friends.

Ain't that a b*tch.

You run around here fooling

with the Mexican kids.

They're gonna f*** one of

y'all up, up around here.

Somebody's gonna bend you, spin you

and go up in you. This is my school.

And I won't play that.

I don't like any of them one bit!

Are you getting initiated

into a gang, young Jiminey?

Uh, my name is Jason,

and no, I'm not.

Cut the...

I'm gonna tell you something, Jethro.

You're gonna try

and start a race riot.

You better leave them Mexican kids alone,

they're gonna jump on you.

Yeah, four to five of them are

gonna jump on your little ass.

They're gonna have Home

Depot little jackets on,

they don't play the fool.

Yeah. Damn sh*t.

You think it's a game?

You're gonna end up on First 38.

First 38.

I thought it was 48.

Yeah, it's 38, nigga.

Yes.

I hear you need one more volunteer

teacher tonight for the lock-in.

And you heard right, baby.

I need you here.

Quicker than a cat

can lick his ass.

All right, great.

I'll see you there.

I'm gonna tear that ass up tonight.

Huh?

Are you going to

the school dance tonight?

Yeah, come on. Get your little nosey

ass out of here. Get on out of here.

The Hater Dance.

The Hater Dance.

The Hater Dance.

Oh!

What the f***?

It seems like today is

your unlucky day, Day.

That's funny, fool.

Yeah.

Yo, why y'all messing with me?

I know you got some lawns

to mow or something.

So, Day Day,

you have a really important phone call.

Who's this?

What? Nigga, speak English.

Who's this?

It's Junior.

Just got out and he wants his money.

Yeah, don't keep him holding on the phone,

Holmes.

That's rude.

My bad, Junior. I didn't know it was you.

How did you get out?

I thought you were

in jail for triple life.

Look, man, I got your money.

Don't worry.

Insert 25 cents

for another minute.

What did he say?

Don't ask me, fool.

I don't speak Spanish.

$2,000 by midnight

or Junior's gonna kill you.

Sh*t.

2 grand.

Where am I gonna get

that from by midnight?

Day Day, you cool?

Hell no.

These Ese's are threatening

me over some sh*t

my wack-ass father did!

Uncle D-Smoke?

Yeah, that lying-ass

nigga, Darren.

See, my mamma thought

it would be a good idea

for me to go

visit him in prison.

Say, "Hi, Daddy!"

Say, "Hi, Daddy!"

Hi, Daddy.

Whose goddamn

white baby is that?

This is your baby, okay?

He's just light skinned. Mmm-hmm.

That one might be mine.

That one right there,

I'm not totally sure.

Just because you

named him Darren

don't mean he belongs to Darren.

But I don't care what

this baby's name is,

this baby is rice skinned

but not light skinned.

That is a white child.

That is Caucasian from

the mountains of Caucasus.

That is a Slavic baby,

a Viking from Iceland.

That baby got 730

as a credit rating

right now as an infant.

You the only one

I've been with, Darren.

B*tch, let me explain

to you the math.

I've been in here

16 consecutive years.

You know how long "consecutive" is,

don't you?

Okay, so, it means one right

after the motherfucking other.

'Cause I ain't

never missed a day.

So clearly you've been

having some conjugal visits

with some other

motherfuckers other than me.

That's not my baby.

That's almost a grown white

man you've brought in here.

His glasses are certainly grown.

I've never seen a baby with

that type of prescription.

And why does that baby

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