School for Scoundrels Page #8

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Oh? These, I suppose,

are yours.

April smith,

you can come out now.

This is Raymond.

If this means I'm too late,

you rotter...

Am I, kitten?

No.

You're not too late.

Oh, thank goodness.

Well, now do you see where

your little jealousies lead?

If it hadn't been for my

quick thinking, this man...

this man? This rat.

Let me tell you something about

your fine-feathered friend.

Do you know what he did?

He went to Yeovil,

he went to the

college of Lifemanship

and he learnt

all the tricks.

All his dirty rotten tricks.

No, no, no, not tricks,

my good man.

Arts, science, philosophy

if you like, but...

no, no, no, not tricks.

Well, you can call them

what you like.

But all they are

are dastardly, low down devices

designed to pull

the wool over the eyes

of innocent

young things.

Look!

"Potter's Woo-manship.

"Woo-manship... the art

of being one up on women

"without actually

marrying them.

"The uncle ploy

for trust and confidence,

"from living room to bedroom

in 3 easy moves.

"After the bedroom, what?"

What indeed?

Henry, is it true?

What on earth is

the matter with you, man?

Ploy 64...

throw yourself on her mercy.

No, Mr. Potter.

It's true, April.

They were tricks.

All tricks.

Ploys, boy,

ploys.

Tricks, ploys,

what difference does it make?

That's why I...

that's why

you stopped,

isn't it?

That's right.

Come, April. Let me take you

away from all this.

I love you, April.

Oh, Henry.

I love you too.

Shhh. We're witnessing

the birth of a new ploy.

No, Mr. Potter. I love April

and I want April to love me.

I do. I do.

No...

not, not sincerity,

Palfrey.

Just a minute.

Something's gone wrong.

Stop that I say!

You can't

do this to me.

Kissing.

Well, don't just stand there,

Mr. Potter, do something.

Pull yourself

together, Palfrey.

We're not alone!

I do apologise,

ladies and gentlemen.

Events seem to have taken

a most unfortunate turn.

This sort of calamity

we cannot always guard against,

even amongst

our best students.

You see, once... once sincerity

rears its ugly head,

well, Lifemanship

is powerless.

Stop that music.

Orchestra!

Orchestra,

stop that infernal din!

Oh, please! No.

Forgive me, I must

get back to Yeovil.

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