Schtonk! Page #2

Just a little... - Professor!

Like this?

Yes like that.

Do you want to try it on?

It's my uncle's bathrobe. The Reichsmarschall.

The Reichsmarschall. With pleasure.

Over... or under my clothes?

As you wish.

Well, in that case, I'll allow myself to ...

You look manly.

Masculine and powerful.

I love you, Freya, ... like crazy.

Big Hermann's yacht with his niece

on the Elbe river at sundown.

How f***ing cool!

There is no yacht more German than

that of the Reichsmarschall.

This needs to be on the title....

Hermann, maybe you should

let the editorship know who the owner is.

Pit, what's that for?

It doesn't matter who owns it now,

it's important that it used to belong to Gring.

And the current owner will

let us take all the pictures we want.

The ship, the niece, everything for 50k.

I've brought a few samples.

Here, the Reichsmarschall's bath robe.

From the family estate.

12 silver teaspoons...

..monogrammed, from the same estate.

Swastika..

..and Hallmark.

Used very heavily by the Reichsmarschall.

We can have all of this, everything.

Everything's included in those 50 grand.

40?

Very interesting. Dead for

40 years, yet still sweaty.

Smell this, Uwe.

Say, Willi, is it possible that you

are the proud owner of Gring's yacht?

You can't call that ownership.

Technically, yes, maybe, ....

.. but actually the bank owns it.

I think that's quite the chutzpah, Mr. Willi.

So, that's what you think.

I think it's pretty amateurish of you

not to realize what a big hit this is.

.. journalistically.

As long as I am sitting here...

It's "we", Uwe.

Of course it is! As long as we are sitting here...

...we won't have a swastika on the title,

no Gring boat...

..no sweaty bathrobes, and no

teaspoons with swastikas and hallmarks.

...we won't have a swastika on the title,

no Gring boat...

..no sweaty bathrobes, and no

teaspoons with swastikas and hallmarks.

That's right, Uwe.

Then soon there won't be any readers left.

I'm sick of your Nazi sh*t. Nobody wants to

know. Nobody, never ever!

Eva Braun.

Naked in oil.

Created by the Fuehrer himself...

..with his own brush.

Doctor Knobel, ...I can't call you doctor anymore.

Fritz!

Oh, gee.

Let's drink to that.

To devoted comradeship.

I am Karl.

Karl, cheers!

Cheers, Fritzle!

Right this way...

What?

Ah, about those old machines.

..ah, him, I used to know him

until 1938, then we lost touch.

This is Prof. Dr. Staffek,

an expert on the Third Reich.

Delighted.

Prof. Dr. Knobel, also a known art historian.

Former president of the art academy Leipzig.

Dresden, actually!

I see, so there's two experts now.

I wasn't informed that this was

going to be a scholastic competition.

Neither was I.

But I will gladly accept any challenger.

Oh Fritzle, don't get me wrong.

But mother said...

You did too.

Yes, me, too.

We thought 10000 DM

is a lot of money for a painting.

Just show us if you

don't have anything to hide.

I've got nothing to hide.

I just want to say even experts

can be wrong sometimes.

Ah, yes, I'll leave that to you, dear fellow.

It's, it's, unbelievable....

That's Eva!

Little Eva in the field behind

the house in front of the Watzmann.

I've never said otherwise.

You can give your opinion later,

when it is your turn.

First of all I can tell you

that this is definitely an unknown piece.

I never said anything else. This

is an unknown painting by the Fuehrer...

Unknown to you maybe,

but not to me.

Not to you?

No, I was present when he painted it.

You were ... present?

Yes.

I was a summer guest at the Berghof.

It was a gorgeous summer day..

..July 7th, 1939.

In the afternoon, around 5 pm,

I was walking through the field.

Cornflowers behind the Berghof.

Suddenly he's standing there

painting her.

The way god made her, right

in front of this very mountain view.

What are you trying

to say, Professor?

Is this a Hitler or not?

Madame, one thing I can say without a doubt,

this is the most, most authentic Hitler.

My customer and I were very impressed by

the professors professional opinion.

The man obviously was an intimate expert

of neogermanic art history.

Fascinated I listened to the rest

of his statement when I got an idea.

My life's most fateful idea,

which would result in a body of

work of historic proportions.

The expert professor was not only present

when the painting was done...

.. he also knew why it had been lost for so long.

I know where this painting comes from

as I have written a famous book about it.

In "The Fuehrer and I" I exposed ...

...that in April of '45 the Fuehrer's entire

private archive was put in 10 metal boxes...

..and flown from the Reich's capital.

And this airplane, a Junkers-352,

was shot down by the enemy

in a town called Brnersdorf, close to the Czech border.

The metal boxes have been missing ever since.

10 boxes full of secret documents,

most private records,

the most secret secrets of the Fuehrer

and the person Adolf Hitler.

The Fuehrer cried

when he received this message.

Come on now.

We're no longer friends, you backstabber.

How often have you promise me that?

Give me an advance! 10k you a**hole.

I'll give you nothing.

Give me 100.

Hermann, no.

Get rid of that junk and get us a big hit.

Not this crap. Then I'll

get you back into the money.

You'll do it, Hermann.

But what?

What? A big hit! You hear me?

Something with a bang

that jumps right at you.

Right at the news stand.

If you're the reader.

Bang, bang, bang!

Understand?

A big hit.

You're all wet.

It's raining, professor.

Yes, yes, but I am busy right now.

I urgently have to write something.

Writing? I didn't know you

were a writer, too, professor.

I thought you were only a painter.

That, too. I art everything, I mean

I am an artistic all-rounder.

A little multi-talented genius.

I love little geniuses.

I see.

Martha, please cover up.

I really have to work now.

Baroness Freya von Hepp.

Does she have to be there again?

You are quiet now.

Karl Lentz and wife are doing the honor of inviting

Baroness Freya von Hepp to an evening of

comradeship on the occasion of Hitler's 90th.

P.S.:
on this occasion I will allow myself

to present an unknown secret document

written by the Fuehrer himself.

Unknown secret document?

written by the Fuehrer himself. Freya!

It's all nonsense. He does

that every year.

Last year it was a dirty

napkin with the Fuehrer's boogers.

This year it'll be an old note

with an inkblot, no thanks.

We're going.

No, we're not.

That's bitter orange marmalade!

I told you I do not

like orange marmalade.

You did not say that to me.

I did. I repeatedly said I did

not want orange marmalade.

Hermann, what are you doing?

Hermann?

What are you doing?

I'm getting dressed.

And the I'll leave you.

Because of the marmalade?

No, because you do not obey me.

I cannot live with a woman

who does not obey.

(if I had to live without hope)

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes