Scoop Page #5

Synopsis: In the funeral of the famous British journalist Joe Strombel, his colleagues and friends recall how obstinate he was while seeking for a scoop. Meanwhile the deceased Joe discloses the identity of the tarot card serial killer of London. He cheats the Reaper and appears to the American student of journalism Sondra Pransky, who is on the stage in the middle of a magic show of the magician Sidney Waterman in London, and tells her that the murderer is the aristocrat Peter Lyman. Sondra drags Sid in her investigation, seeking for evidences that Peter is the killer. However, she falls in love with him and questions if Joe Strombel is right in his scoop.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Mystery
Director(s): Woody Allen
Production: Focus Features
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
6.7
Metacritic:
48
Rotten Tomatoes:
40%
PG-13
Year:
2006
96 min
$10,467,056
Website
1,580 Views


God bless you.

You're a very sweet woman,

and this has been a great group.

From the bottom of my heart,

I say this with all due respect.

You're a wonderful... A credit to your

race and a magnificent group of people.

You know, I must find out

who does the hedges here.

Back home, my topiary moose

is starting to look a little

shabby around the antlers.

What do you do, Mr. Spence?

Me? I'm in real estate.

I'm sorry, I'm in oil!

I'm in oil.

I was in real estate,

but, you know, land is so difficult

to come by now, especially outdoors.

It's become a problem.

Incidentally,

I accept your invitation.

I will play poker this weekend.

Now that I've seen how good you

are at cards, can we trust you?

Tell me about yourself, Peter.

This is all so new to me.

Well, what would you

like to know?

Well, I don't know.

Anything you'd care to reveal.

You know, your hopes,

your dreams.

Well, I come from a privileged

family, as I'm sure you can tell.

It was always decided one

day I would enter politics.

My hobbies are polo and...

Oh, I own some racehorses.

So, how's that for a start?

And what are

your hopes and dreams?

I like to dance

and visit museums

and, oh, I can cook Chinese food.

If you know any good

Chinese restaurants...

Oh, I've gotten very interested

in New Age phenomena recently.

Like what?

You know, mystical things like

astrology and crystals

and Tarot.

Do you know anything

about Tarot cards?

Not really.

I'm more scientific-minded.

I find that if...

What are you staring at?

You have wonderful enamel.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You know, I'd love to take you dancing

one night. I'm a good dancer.

Oh, I would love that.

That would be great.

Can I confess something?

Sure.

I just love an American accent,

and I find much of what

you say very amusing.

I'll take that

as a compliment.

And since you like Chinese food,

I'm gonna have my new secretary

send you a list

of the great ones in town.

- Oh, you have a new secretary?

- Oh, yes.

Yes, I'm breaking in

someone new.

My previous secretary died, a young woman,

just very suddenly of a blood clot.

It was awful.

Did they do an autopsy?

How did we get

on to this morbid subject?

So, you've never seen

a real English garden before?

Come.

I have a couple of treasures.

Would I offend you if

I told you something?

Probably not.

You're very... Very different

from the women I usually meet.

That's a good thing.

Well, I just can't seem to get the vision

of you in your swimsuit out of my mind.

Oh, I'm glad you liked it.

It was marked down.

See, that... Now that's

exactly what I mean.

You just have this very direct

and informal way about you.

- It's... You take after your father.

- Great.

And you have

a very sensual quality.

It's... But I'm sure

you've been told that.

Wow. You work really fast.

Oh, God. Am I overbearingly aggressive?

I'll stop.

Oh, no, don't!

You just...

were getting warmed up.

Are you romantic by nature?

I mean, I won't say,

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Because that's

a cliche but...

Have you ever had

an experience

where a bell goes off

just right away?

Sorry.

I need those.

You see,

I can't wear contacts.

I don't like to put my

finger on my eyeball.

Well, goodbye. We must meet

for tea and crumpets again.

We really must.

I could have strangled you

if you didn't shut up!

And stop telling people

I sprang from your loins.

I'm trying to cement the fact

that I'm your father!

That guy was so fantastic.

I can't imagine he'd do anything bad.

This guy is not a serial killer,

believe me.

I'd be very surprised

if he even killed one person.

He asked me to go dancing

next week.

That's a perfect strategy!

You worm your way in

like a rodent or a roach

and as the crumbs

fall off the table,

you collect them and we analyze them.

Aha! Voila! Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Look at this. Look at this.

Look what I got. "Betty G."

- Yeah.

- What is this?

It's a doodle.

He doodled it!

How do you know he doodled it?

How do you know this is his?

What do you mean,

how do I know it's his?

I stole it out of

his overnight bag.

What the hell

is wrong with you, Sidney?

- It's a clue!

- It's not a clue.

- We're hard up for clues.

- It's not a clue.

What does it mean?

It could be his aunt,

it could be his travel agent.

I'm late for dinner. You want to

come in and eat something?

No. No, thank you.

Take a seat right over there.

Okay.

Peter called.

He's going to be late.

He said to start without him.

Oh, well, come on then, let's play.

That's what we're here for.

Okay.

Come on, short, little guy.

- You're out?

- This is it?

Anybody else?

You're still in?

So sorry, old chaps. I was completely

bogged down at the office.

Okay.

All right, who's winning?

Mr. Spence is a good poker player, Peter.

Yes, I might have known.

Actually, I bought my first

Reuben's with poker winnings.

You bought a Rubens painting?

Not a painting.

A sandwich.

I could use a drink.

He asked me if I believed

in love at first sight.

How sweet is that?

So naive.

Well, I hope

you told him yes.

I told him

we had nothing in common.

We come from completely

different backgrounds.

I think

he likes that or something.

But what about the story

you're writing on him?

What is that all about?

Sondra?

"Mary Thompson,

a short-haired brunette,

"was strangled at Falconberg

Place last night at 9:30."

"Next to the body of the

short-haired brunette prostitute,

"was the hangman card

from the Tarot deck."

Hey, what time did you say Peter

arrived at the poker game last night?

If you're asking me, did he

have time to strangle somebody

and make the card game,

yes, he had plenty of time.

I got to let

my feelings subside

and probe deeper

into this case.

What does that mean?

Well, it means that we know where his

family lives, we know his social circle,

but we don't know

what his house looks like.

I want to get a look at that.

Here we are.

- Wow. This is really nice.

- Thank you. Yes.

Do you do

a lot of entertaining?

I'm embarrassed

to say that I do.

You must think I'm an empty socialite.

Much of it's political.

Oh, no.

I think you're swell.

That's a lovely painting.

Oh, I recognize that

from my art history books.

- Oh, really?

- Yes. Henry Moore.

In fact, it was a present

from Henry Moore to my father.

Oh, it's very beautiful.

Is it Roman, or Greek,

or something like that?

It's Roman, in fact.

Second century A.D.

You have good taste.

I think you'll like

what's downstairs.

The real treasures. Come.

Here we are.

These are all of my instruments.

The room is climate controlled, it's

to protect all these beautiful pieces.

- It's fantastic.

- Thank you. Thank you.

Yes, my family's been

collecting it for years.

This is a Guarneri. And a Stradivarius.

You may have heard of them.

- Oh, you play these violins?

- Oh, me? God, no. No, no.

But we lend them out.

Rate this script:3.8 / 11 votes

Woody Allen

Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, and playwright, whose career spans more than six decades. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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