Screwed Page #10

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- FOR THE FIRST TIME AGAIN

FOR THE FIRST TIME AGAIN

[relaxed jazzy music]

- WHEN THE DOCTOR

DIAGNOSED MY NUT CANCER

AS INOPERABLE,

I DECIDED TO LIVE EACH DAY

TO ITS FULLES AND REALLY GO OUT THERE

AND DO ALL THE THINGS

THAT I HAD PUT OFF,

LIKE CLIMBING MOUNT EVERES AND LEARNING TO PLAY

THE SLIDE GUITAR

AND VOLUNTEERING

AT THE REFUGEE CAMP

IN "DARFAR."

- DARFUR.

- DARFUR.

- DARFUR.

- BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

I DID IS:

ADOPT THIS ABUSED PUPPY

FROM THE ANIMAL SHELTER.

- YOU ARE SO SWEET.

- HOW LONG DID THE DOCTOR

GIVE YOU?

- I WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE

A MONTH AGO.

OH, YES, THERE'S STILL FIGH LEFT IN THIS FLAWED HUMAN SHELL.

[exhales sharply]

- NATHAN.

- YEAH?

- WE GOT TO GO.

- YOU HAVE TO LEAVE NOW?

- I JUST HAVE SOMEWHERE TO BE,

SO UNLESS SOMEONE ELSE

WANTS TO GIVE HIM A RIDE--

- WE CAN DO IT.

- REALLY?

YOU WOULDN'T MIND?

- RIGHT, LATER.

- OH, ONE MINUTE.

WOULD YOU MIND?

- NO, NO.

- WHAT'S UP?

- EXCELLENT WINGMANSHIP, MAN,

EXCELLENT.

WHO KNEW THAT PUPPIES

WERE SUCH GREAT BABE MAGNETS?

WE SHOULD GET A BUNCH OF 'EM.

- GOOD LUCK CLOSING THE DEAL.

- WHERE YOU OFF TO?

- DATE WITH EMMA.

- VAYA CON DIOS, BRO.

- DO YOU EVEN KNOW

WHAT THAT MEANS?

- NO.

BUT IT SOUNDS COOL

'CAUSE IT'S MEXICAN.

LADIES, THANK YOU.

- WE JUST WANT TO HELP YOU

ANY WAY WE CAN.

- REALLY?

I'VE NEVER BEEN

IN A THREESOME.

THERE ARE THREE OF US,

AND I MAY DIE SOON.

[coughs]

DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A NO TO ME.

[both chuckle]

- UM, WHAT ABOUT FLASH?

- WELL, WE COULD MAKE I A FOURSOME.

[upbeat music]

- THAT'S SOME KINKY SH*T,

AND I LIKE IT.

LET'S DO THIS.

ting!

[electricity buzzing

and crackling]

[echoing moan]

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